


Neon Green Spray Cans and Switchblade Cries

by dangsu



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:13:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 41,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24435673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangsu/pseuds/dangsu
Summary: Gerard and Mikey were broken. It wasn't a secrete. Gerard was a pill popping vandal with bruised knuckles and Mikey was a big mouthed kleptomaniac. With their mother locked up and father MIA, the Ways are no strangers to the system. They're used to not getting used and moving is more comforting than living. When the boys get moved to a new home, a suburban house in Northern New Jersey, they think it's gonna be just like the rest. What they didn't account for were the people they were gonna meet and the relashionships they were gonna make.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz
Comments: 40
Kudos: 72





	1. September 4th

Sunday 4th , 7:03 pm, Miss Tanya’s Kitchen

“You gonna cut your hair, boy?”, Ms.Tanya curtly asked at the dinner table. She had her eyes firmly planted on Gerard with a strong look of distaste. It made Gerard tempted to retort with something smart even though he was smarter than that. He’d definitely get smacked for that and he really just wanted to eat his nasty unseasoned chicken in peace.

“No…”, he responded like it was a question. He figures if he plays oblivious she might drop it. _My hair? Cut it? Was I supposed to?_

“Well you might wanna consider it”, she cooed, giving Gerard the worst case of stank aye he had ever experienced. “Youse gonna start a new school tomorrow, might wanna make a good impression.”

Gerard bit back the urge to roll his eyes. Mikey didn’t. He was rolling his eyes like there was no tomorrow. They both knew deep down that they probably wouldn’t be here for long. They’d been bumping around home from home for five years now, they knew how it went. They’d stay in the house for eight months max before the social worker came and placed them in another one. Nobody really wanted a bunch of teens, especially ones that seemed to attract copious amounts of trouble. Even when their mother first went to jail and Gerard was twelve and Mikey was eight, nobody had wanted to adopt them. They were what workers call ‘a bonded pair’, as in the workers strongly suggested that they be fostered together. That’s fine. People would foster them, but nobody had wanted them permanently. They might not even be eligible for adoption anymore, Gerard doesn’t know about all that technical stuff. All he knows that he has to keep his mouth shut and let things go. You never know what the foster ‘parents’ will do.

The last house they had been in was pretty rough. It was a woman named Trina who had a head of crazy and unruly hair. She had about five other foster kids, picking up on seven checks at the end of the month. Gerard was smart, he knew what was up. The other boys there were all in highschool and very rough. Gerard had some suspicions that some of them had been picking on Mikey, who was a scrawny smart-alec eighth grader at the time. He had filled out a bit more over the summer and filtered what he said more often. He learnt how to shut up real good at that house, the first month he had a new bruise every day. Gerard wanted nothing more than to beat the living hell out of those boys, but Mikey refused to tell him who was doing it. 

This house was better, Ms.Tanya actually talked to the boys, unlike Trina, and fed the boys, which was nice. The only thing was that Tanya Marie Versino was this devout Christian who was strongly against anything and everything that Gerard liked. She had been getting at him to cut his hair for about two weeks. She also had this rock-for-brains nineteen year old, Trevor, who was currently suspended from college for the semester. He didn’t really do much but he sure could be a jerk to the boys. Whatever, either he’d be gone soon or they’d be gone soon. They’d survive. They always did. They were also staying in Northern Jersey, which was nice. Come to think of it, Gerard thinks that his grandparents grew up around here. He knew for sure that Helena had sold some artwork to the local businesses. Maybe if he looked hard enough he’d find it. Then gain, maybe not. The world wasn’t too fond of Gerard.

The Way brothers never stayed in one house for long. On their files, it would say ‘Troubled Kid’. Gerard knows all the things he has ever done and isn’t necessarily proud of it. He’s not a deliberite shit head, as in he doesn’t go around looking for trouble, usually trouble comes to him. Kids pick on him and he gets into lots of fights because of it, which leads to lot’s of suspensions. He’s experimented with lots of drugs and his favorite concoction right now is probably Xanax and Vodka. It gets him thinking about a whole lotta nothing a whole lotta quick. 

“It’s cause they’re into that music thing”, Trevor added with his mouth full of chicken. He was waving his hand around, making him look like a flailing chicken. “You know, like Nirvana and Smashing Pumpkins, the weird stuff”. Gerard eyed Trevor with malice. Trevor looked like the stereotypical jock in every single romantic comedy. Gerard was pretty sure the most out-there thing Trevor had ever listened too was Ace of Base.

Miss.Tanya's face tightened and she kissed her teeth. “I don’t know what you youths are up to these days. I have no clue why you two think having messy hair and ripped jeans are… cool. No music should make you want to look homeless. It just doesn't make any sense to me”, she exclaimed a bit. She gave Gerard one more look before going back to her chicken. Gerard made sure to eat his chicken quickly before washing his plate and heading outside. He kind of felt bad for leaving Mikey there alone, but he really needed to get away.

He pushed open the flimsy door and breathed in a nice gulp of fresh air. It was almost September so the air was warm but crisp. The best kind of air. Gerard dug out his pack of Marlboros and a lighter. It was a nasty habit that he had picked up shortly after his mother was arrested for money laundering. It wasn’t even her money, she was just helping out an old friend. Smoking was the most docile of Gerard’s bad habits that ranged from drinking to club drugs. Drinking wasn’t an everyday thing, it was just a thing to keep his mind off things sometimes. Sometimes he gets memories of his parents screaming at the top of their lungs, he’s father scrambling out the house while his mother throws a beer bottle at his head, narrowly missing before she broke down crying. Sometimes it’s of him hugging his mother as she’s crying wondering how she’s gonna make rent that month. Sometimes it's Gerard and Mikey watching cartoons and hearing a knock on the door before police barge in and arrest their mother right in front of their face. Sometimes he just needed to escape because if he pondered all the things that made him hurt, he just couldn’t handle it.

A lot of times he worried for Mikey. Gerard was older and he remembered a time before the beer and rent issues, back when his family was whole and happy. His grandmother even lived with them until she had to be moved to a home when his mom got hauled in. He was only six when things got bad, Mikey was three. He had no recollection of good times. Mikey had been in the system since he was eight. He never really knew his father nor his mother, not in the way that Gerard had. The occasional calls and visitations have allowed both Gerard and Mikey to form a strong relationship with their mother, but Gerard knew that Mikey had never ever experienced a normal childhood. So Gerard doesn’t say anything when Mikey gets kicked out of classes for back talking teachers or steals Smashing Pumpkin records from record stores. Even when he had to take his vodka money to pay a cab driver and pick Mikey up from the station when Mikey was hanging out with that stupid Tommy kid, he didn’t say anything.

Gerard takes the tramas he has faced and bottles it down into a deep part of his stomach, becoming silent, withdrawn and moody. It only stings occasionally. Gerard knows that Mikey on the other hand is angry but in the silent-till-explosive kind of way. They’re both messed up, but atleast at the end of the day they got each other. They’ll always have each other

Gerard sat on the steps of the front porch, smoking. It wasn’t one of those nice porches, the ones that were wooden and painted with a welcoming white paint that was only slightly chipped and charming. No, you wouldn’t find those nice porches around here. Maybe if you went about two hundred miles down south you’d find that, but right here the porch was cold hard cement. It chafed at the bottom of Gerard’s denim jeans and he knew that if he were to move around too much it’s leave holes in them. Whatever. If Mikey could wear his jeans ripped and grunge then Gerard could totally pull off the look too. Maybe even better than Mikey, he thought with a small smile tugging at his lips.

Gerard wasn’t too keen on starting a new school tomorrow. It’d be his senior year and he didn’t even know if he’d graduate from this highschool. He’d been in four highschools so far, not including this one. He doubted he’d finnish the year out at this one. He inhaled more of the deathly smoke, relishing in how harsh yet comforting it felt against his lungs. Maybe Gerard was more messed up than he gave himself credit for. Everything that killed him made him feel alive.

He didn’t even notice the footsteps until Mikey had plopped down on the steps next to him, huddling close to him. “Hey”, was all he said while staring straight out into the distance. This neighborhood was pretty okay. It was better from where they had lived with their mother and most of the other homes they’d been in. It felt weird. When you're used to having to hold your breath in overgrown, trashed, and dangerous, places you don’t know what to do the second you get to breathe. One time Gerard had even gone to a crack house. One of the kids, Otter, at the previous home had been into the heavy drug scene and took Gerard to one so that Gerard could buy xannies. Being in that house with all that trash and busted furniture just made Gerard feel free in an odd way. Looking back, Otter was probably the only good friend Gerard ever had. Gerard had plenty of acquaintances and buddies he got messed up with, but hardly any real friends. He still had Otter’s email, maybe he could go to a library and see if they had computers he could use. 

“Hey”, Gerard said, flicking a little ash. He didn’t look at Mikey but started out in the distance too. It was kind of relaxing. The sun was setting and all the colors had exploded and blended. It was definitely relaxing.

“Can I have a drag?”, Mikey asked. He looked down at the cigarette that Gerard was loosely holding in between his fingers. Gerard noted how young Mikey looked in his baggy sweatshirt and baggy second hand store ripped jeans. The kid would be fourteen in a few weeks, but he’d always be the wide-eyed innocent little brother that Gerard remembered vividly. It was almost disturbing how he changed, how they both changed. They were no longer scared of anything. They were just frustrated, angry, sad, and tired. 

Gerard furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head. “You smoke?”. Gerard hadn’t recalled Mikey ever smoking or even mentioning smoking cigarettes. But then again, Mikey did know a lot of cigarette and pot smokers back in his last junior high school. Gerard had seen them all hanging around in the junior high school yard, their baggy clothes and faded eyes. Mikey was a quiet kid but he had this nonchalant manner and snarky sense of humor that made him lot’s of friends. They weren’t usually good friends, but they were friends nonetheless. Gerard couldn’t say the same for himself.

Mikey shrugged and he passed the cigarette to Mikey. Mikey eagerly took it and took a long drag without coughing. This wasn’t his first rodeo. Gerard decided to just light another cigarette up for himself. Mikey could keep that one.

“You excited for your first day of highschool?”Gerard asked with a half smile. He turned to face Mikey and saw him grimace.

“Fuck no”, Mikey cursed. He took another drag. “How about you? What number is this? School number…”

“Five”, Gerard answered with a chuckle. It shouldn’t be funny. It was kind of funny.

“You know what they say, fifth times a charm”, Mikey responded gravely.

“It’s three! It’s third times a charm, you dumb ass”, Gerard laughed. God, that kid could make Gerard laugh. Gerard knew that as long as he had Mikey, he’d be okay. They’d be alright.

“Really”, Mikey asked, looking puzzled. Gerard wondered if Mikey, honest to God, did not know that the saying was ‘third time’s a charm’. This kid would be the death of him. “So, you gonna tag this school too?”.

Gerard and Mikey had this thing where they’d leave their mark wherever they went. It was something that they had started when they were eight and twelve. They had gone to the local hardware store a block from their home, hand in hand, and bought (more like Mikey shoplifted) a bottle of neon green spray paint and a knife. Their aunt had come down to watch the kids while the system found them a foster home so Gerard decided that he needed to make his mark before he left. Gerard took the paint and Mikey took the knife. They went to their respective schools and vandalized some property. Mikey carved his name into his Elementary school desk while Gerard was a bit more elaborate. He tagged his school’s gymnasium wall before leaving the school the next day and being shipped to South Jersey. Maybe they did it to prove to themselves that they were real and mattered, they weren’t just a name in a database. Ever since then it was a downward spiral. Gerard loved graffiti and went tagging frequently.

Gerard smiled. “Duh, I just don’t know when. Maybe when we get wind that they are moving us. That’ll be in like-”

“Put those out!”, the shrill voice of Ms.Tanya interrupted Gerard’s train of thoughts. Both boys jumped a little and turned around. They were faced with an angry Ms.Tanya. “I will not tolerate those cancer sticks in this household. I’ve seen your buds lying around this last month you’ve been here. Do not smoke on the property. It’s disrespectful”, she ranted. After her last blow, she retreated back inside.

“Fuck”.


	2. September 5th

Monday 5th, 8:30 am, Miss Tanya’s Home

Gerard was used to this. He had so many first days at school, whether it be September first or him transfering into the school in the middle of the school year. He was a pro at this, he knew how much first days sucked. After about his third first day at a new school, he stopped getting nervous about them. Worst comes to worst, he gets picked on. Whatever, he can throw a good punch. Today was different, though. Today he’d be having his first first day with Mikey. They’d be in it together. Gerard smiled as he stood in the small room he was sharing with Mikey. Ms.Tanya swore up and down that she couldn’t afford beds, instead the boys slept on blankets on the floor. Gerard stuck his foot out, carefully kicking Mikey who was laying down on the mess of blankets.

“C’mon, let’s go”, Gerard demaded lightly. Mikey groaned and rolled over from the blankers, revealing the Fangoria magazine he was reading. Gerard also saw the dusty jeans Mikey had been wearing for two weeks straight and a threadbare Pumpkins shirt. Gerard was all for the rusty and grunge look, but he firmly agreed in washing his clothing at least once a month. He also did put in some effort on the first day. Today he was wearing jeans that fit him, an Iron Maiden shirt, and a loose denim jacket that hung from his fairly slim frame. He had washed his black box dyed hair and overall looked like he was well kept.

“Mikey, what the fuck are you wearing? You look homeless”, Gerard teased. Mikey just squirmed around the blankets, turning away from Gerard and facing the wall.

“Wouldn’t be too far from the truth”, Mikey grumbled. Gerard felt his stomach tumble. He knew Mikey was right, they didn’t have a home. But he really didn’t want to deal with an angsty teenager right now. They were kind of running late for the bus… 

“I know, Mikes. But what can we do, you know?”, Gerard sympathized, sitting down next to Mikey. “We just gotta keep on going. I swear, when I turn eighteen, I’m gonna rent an apartment up in Newark and we can run away there. We’ll just disappear. I can get a job in the city and you can go to school there. We can make our own home. And Ma will be released in a few years, she might even be on parole by the time you’re a junior! She can start working at the Saloon again and we’ll have our own little home. Maybe after a while, I can go to art school. It’ll be great Mikey!”, Gerard couldn’t help but smile. He ruffled Mikey’s hair and Mikey didn’t even say anything about it. He hadn’t styled it at all today, which meant he was feeling down. “You just gotta hold on”, Gerard added, making contact with Mikey’s puffy eyes.

Mikey sighed-- or sniffled. Gerard couldn’t really tell the difference. “I can’t wait”, Mikey smiled a bit. Gerard smiled back before taking a much needed deep breath. 

The bus ride wasn’t bad. Luckily the boys had made it before the bus had left. The kids at the stop didn’t seem too interested in them. They were your typical run of the mill suburban kids with their Levi’s and plaid schoolgirl skirts. Some of them nodded their head at the boys but most had their nose in a book or changed the tape on their walkmans. Luckily the bus came quickly, saving the brothers from standing around in awkward silence. 

The actual school building seemed pretty nice. Gerard had been to tons of highschools before and knew that this one was going to be alright. The manila bricks and kempt flower garden in the front of the building told Gerard that this was a good school. He was glad that Mikey’s first high school experience wouldn’t be at a run-down, dirty, rough highschool. He had no doubt that Mikey would have to experience it once they'd inevitably be moved to a new home, but at least he’d be able to throw in the piranhas immediately. The cleanliness of the hallway confirmed Gerard’s suspensions of the school and the lack of policemen put him at ease. At Gerard’s last school there were five cop cars in the parking lot at all time and at the junior high across the street there were two. This was a good school.  
“The hall’s so clean I can see my reflection”, Mikey snarkily commented while they waited in line at the S-Z table with all the schedules. Kids were all weaving in between each other and forming neat lines at their respective tables. Gerard looked down and sure enough he saw his reflection staring right back at him.

“Shit, you’re right. You know what that means?”.

“Yeah, this school’s rich. Which means all the kids are too”, Mikey deadpanned, as per usual. Gerard likes to pride himself in being the only one who can decode Mikey’s deadpan. Right now Mikey actually seemed bummed out that they were at a richie school. Gerard had no clue why, rich schools were the best. Nobody was out to get you and if they were, he knew he could totally take them. The administration were also usually suckers for a sad story and wouldn’t get Gerard in too much trouble. Richie schools were the best. 

“What’s wrong with that? Richie schools are the best. You know that”, Gerard said while stepping up in the line. He couldn’t really see how far up they were in the line, a large head of frizzy brown curls were blocking him from seeing anything. He turned back to face Mikey, who was looking down at his feet.

“Sure. But it also means we’re gonna be freaks”, Mikey gruffed, allowing his deadpan to get slightly higher pitched, more annoyed. 

Gerard made a soft ‘oh’ noise in the back of his throat. It did make sense. Gerard was used to being a freak, he was always either the weird goth kid or the weird orphan kid. He just found some kids to get high with and called it a day. It never really bothered him. He never thought about how Mikey tended to befriend other kids who had similar struggles and mentalities and blended with them. Gerard didn’t do that. He wasn’t in it to make friends. In a way, he sort of wanted to stick out as bad as he could. He wanted people to see that he was a mess. He wanted teachers to do that once overlook of mild concern and mild disgust. He enjoyed getting a reaction out of people. 

“I guess we will be”, Gerard finally answered after mulling it over. “Don’t worry, we can be freaks together”, Gerard offered with a bad attempt at a smile. Mikey seems to get it, though. He offered an awkward half smile back and Gerard saw the head of curls swept to the side. He was up.

“Last name?”, a scrawny blonde girl asked who was sitting behind the table. 

“Way…”. The girl nodded before shuffling through a slew of folders. She blew a bubble from her gum while Gerard awkwardly standed around.

“Gerard or Micheal?”, the girl asked.

“Gerard”, he responded. The girl handed him the folder and he stepped to the side against the wall, waiting for Mikey. He opened the folder and saw that there were three papers. He looked at the first one, his schedule. He had English first. Okay, he could do english. The second paper was his locker information. His locker was on the third hallway of the second floor and the combination was 8967. The third paper was just a fundraiser paper, a list of all the soccer, basketball, and soccer games. Gerard scoffed knowing he wouldn’t show up to any of those.

“What you got first?”, Mikey asked, sliding next to Gerard against the wall. Gerard didn’t spare Mikey a glance but knew that he was looking over Gerard’s shoulder. Gerard hated the fact that Mikey was just as tall Gerard was (if not taller) and was only thirteen. Gerard was five food five at thirteen, it wasn’t fair.

“English”, Gerard answered while scrolling over his schedule.

Mikey winced. He hated english for some reason, Gerard couldn’t fathom why. Math was obviously the villain here, not English. “Yeah, well good luck with that. I’m off to…”, Mikey glanced down at his own set of papers, “English… Fuck”. And with that Mikey had already made his way down the hall, leaving Gerard laughing.

Gerard decided to stop by his locker before going to his English class. He had brought a bool bag and wasn’t too keen on carrying it around. He put in the code on the lock and let out a breath of relief as it clicked open. At his second high school, the locks didn’t work at all and he had to carry around his stuff all day in fear it’d get stolen. This was definitely an upgrade. Gerard relished in having a locker, arranging all his personal reading books and his backpack. Since he hadn’t cleaned out his back since he was a freshman, there was tons of trash in it but there was also a bunch of forgotten goodies in it. He found a fully in tack, wrapped up, and only slightly expired. He also found about five half empty packs of cigarettes that seemed to be in fairly good condition. Definitely use full.

Gerard didn’t notice how much time had passed and was startled when the scratchy school bell rang, making him jump a bit. He closed his locker with a slight slam and made his way to his English class, looking at the numbers at every classroom. He found the room after only five minutes and opened the door quietly as class had already started. Most of the seats had already been taken by what seemed to be overly preppy kids, nerds, and kids in letterman jackets. 

Gerard tried to crep to the back of the class where he normally felt the most comfortable and took a seat next to a kid who he identified as the kid in front of him in the line earlier. The afro kid gave him a small smile and nod before turning his attention back to the teacher. She was going on about the attendance. 

“Raymond Toro-Ortiz”, the teacher called. Shoot, Toro, Gerard had made it in class just in time. He’s name would be called soon.

“Here”, the afro kid replied. “I...uh… I go by Ray, though”, he added a bit shyly. Gerard thought he mighta seen a little blush in his check's rise. 

“Sure, Ray”, the teacher noted before going back to the attendance. “Gerard Way”.

Gerard just shot his hand in the air, not feeling like talking much. The teacher nodded bere rambling off about some summer reading list that the school had administered. It made Gerard feel really out of place since he hadn’t been here at all. It was weird. Gerard wouldn’t have one particular high school to call his own. He didn’t even know if he’d graduate from this school. He was interrupted from his thoughts when the afro kid turned to him asking him something.

“Sorry, what?”, Gerard asked, he hadn’t been paying much attention. 

“You read the books?”, the kid repeated.

Gerard shook his head. “No, I’m actually new here. I had no clue we were supposed to read anything”, he answered honestly. The kid just nodded but instead of turning back to the teacher like Gerad thought he would, he looked Gerard up and down.

“Iron Maiden, that’s cool”, the kid with the afro said, quitely. Gerar stood there for a while, debated what he should say next. The kid’s initiation made it sound like a complement, but it wasn’t really. 

“Ah yeah… they’re pretty cool”, Gerard agreed, nodding his head a bit. The afro kid smiled a bit and turned his chair slightly towards Gerard’s direction.

“So you like crappy hair metal?”, he asked with a smile twisting his words.

Gerard snorted a little. “Yeah. I guess I like crappy hair metal. Poisons pretty good, if you ask me”.

The afro kid shook his head. “I can get you on the Iron Maiden, but Poison, man? Nah, old school metal is where it’s at. I’m a huge Black Sabbath fan. Ozzy Osborne all day”, he whispered with a grin that wasn’t exactly arrogant or comical. Gerard found himself wondering about this kid who liked classic metal.

“If we’re doing seventies, Queen is what does it for me”, Gerard whispered back. “It’s just so… beautiful, really”.

The Afro kid laughed. “Oh God, you sound so cheesy”, he teased. It wasn’t malicious teasing. It was the kind of teasing one would do with a friend. The kind of teasing that Gerard did with Mikey. 

“Well I am”, Gerard answered back with finality. 

The afro kid nodded like he respected Gerard’s final answer. “I’m Ray”.

“Gerard”.  
***  
Monday 5th, 12:30 pm, Cafeteria

Ray Toro was actually a pretty cool kid. Gerard had gotten to talking to him later on at lunch when Mikey and him had been sitting alone in the corner, eating their dissecting reduced-price school lunch. Mikey had been talking about how much he hated gym class because they had to actually play sports and Mikey was not a sports kind of person. Gerard was nodding along sympathetically when he noticed the familiar set of curls walk past Mikey.

“Hey boys”, Ray greeted. Mikey turned around and looked at Ray with a look of utter shock. Gerard could sense that Mikey was on edge. Going to a rough school would do that to you. Gerard wasn’t too worried. Ray had seemed alright earlier in English, he had to be if he liked Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden.

“Hey Ray”, Gerard responded, nibbling on a limp french fry.

“You guys look lonely over here, I was wondering if you all wanted some company. My table’s over there”, Ray said while pointing at a table a little closer in towards the center. There was a burly ginger and shorter kid with greasy black hair at the table. Gerard looked at Mikey who replied with a shrug. “Only if you guys want to”, Ray added like they’d be doing him a favor by sitting there.

“Sure”, Gerard answered for both of them. Ray smiled and led them off to the table with the ginger and short kid. Mikey shot Gerard a puzzled look as they walked towards the table. Gerard hadn’t mentioned that he met anybody, so of course Mikey would be suspicious. Gerad gave Mikey an ‘it’s okay look’ and Mikey looked away in understandment. Sometimes Gerard wonders if they are psychic, although that wouldn’t be the right work since they only read each other's minds and not anybody else's.

“Welcome to the table of misfits and losers'', Ray beamed loudly once they had reached the table. Gerard cringed a bit, he did not necessarily want to befriend the losers of the school, nobody wanted to. Sure, Gerard was a huge geek and nerd, but he wasn’t that open about it. He didn’t need another reason for kids to pick on him. Being picked on ment more fights which meant more suspensions which meant more angry foster parents who became eager to get rid of the boys. 

“Ray, don’t fucking introduce us like that, not all of us are losers”, the short kid said. He looked up from his own tray of disgusting school lunch, revealing all the features that Gerard couldn’t previously see. The kid had a slew of piercings and was in loose jeans and a jet black Ramones Shirt. His round face and wide eyes let Gerard know that the kid was a bit younger but not much and he smelt like stale smoke. This was definitely Gerard’s kind of kid.

“I’m Frank”, the short kid said slowly, like Gerard and Mikey didn’t speak English. “I’m not… a loser. This table isn’t the table of misfits and losers, it’s Frank Iero plus a misfit and a loser”.

“Hey, who’s the misfit and who’s the loser?”, Ray squawked while taking his seat. Gerard only then realized that Ray had a slightly high pitch voice. Gerard took an open seat next to Ray and Mikey took a seat next to Frank. Figures.

“I’m definitely not a loser”, the ginger kid interjected. “That’s you, Toro”.

“No, it’s not. You know what, fine. This table is called Ray Toro and two annoying punk-asses. Happy?”.

The Frank kid snorted but nodded his head like he was satisfied. “Totally”.

Ray rolled his eyes and picked up a fry from his tray. “The ginger is Bob and the short greasy midget is Frank. Don’t talk to Frank unless absolutely necessary and don’t pet him, he bites. He'll make you run to the hills. This is Bob. Bob’s cool, though”. Bob threw up a wave while he took a sip of water and Frank rolled his eyes. 

“What are you guy’s names”, Frank asked Gerard and Mikey.

“I’m Gerard, that’s Mikey”, Gerard replied, pointing to Mikey who just nodded back in response.

Frank nodded multiple times. He looked kind of like some of the kids Gerard knew that would do psychedelics and amphetamines. They’d rock back and forth. Frank didn’t look like he was on drugs, though. Maybe he was just really energetic. 

“Cool. Cool. What grades are you guys in? Ray and Bob are all old hags, they're seniors”, Frank gagged and Bob slapped him in the back of the head. “Ow, Fuck you Bob. Anyways, I’m a Sophmore, which is in my opinion the best grade, cause we’re not old and senile but we also aren’t discusting freshmen”.

Gerard laughed and spared a sideways glance at Mikey. It was actually Mikey who spoke up first in his normal deadpan, “Gerard’s geratric, I’m disgusting”. Frank looked at Gerard and then back at Mikey.

“Okay, cool, cool”. Gerard started to wonder if that was Frank’s main response to everything. “So like Gerard… Ray tells me you’re new?”

“Yeah, me and Mikey are new”, Gerard answered. He watched Frank continue to nod his head vigorously. Gerard seriously wondered where this kid was finding his energy.

“Aww, that’s cute. The two new kids befriend each other on the first day of school. A senior and a freshman. That’s really cute. I’ll be a bridesmaid at the wedding”.

Mikey choked on the nearly expired cartoon milk that the school had given him. “We are brothers”.

Frank went red in the face and actually stopped nodding his head. This time both Ray and Bob slapped the back of Frank’s head, causing him to almost hit the table. “Shit man, my bad. Brothers… Brothers… okay. Yeah”.

“Goddamnit, I told you not to talk to Frank. He’s not… stable”, Ray said, rubbing his temples and sighing. He looked disappointed in Frank.

“We found him shivering in somebody’s locker last year, all alone, and decided to take him in. It was like taking a dog in from the wild. We couldn’t teach him anything. He’s not potty trained or anything”, Bob explained.

“I am!”, Frank quipped.

“That’s not what I meant”, Bob grumbled, shaking his head. “I meant your wild. A nasty wild dog”.

“Well thanks”. Frank took a sip of his milk and made an odd face. Maybe he was expired. Gerard didn’t quite know what to make of this table yet. Ray seemed pretty chill and Bob seemed funny, but he was uncertain about Frank. He seems alright, but he just had so much energy. 

“Hey Mikey, don’t I have you in Math?”,Frank asked Mikey, who had been pretty quiet and was playing with the french fries on his tray. Mikey didn’t look up from his tray to answer Frank. He kept on mashing the fry into the corner of his tray. Gerard really needed to talk to Mikey about manners. 

“Uh, yeah”, Mikey mumbled.

Frank quirked his head a bit, looking confused. “That’s weird. How did you get into Pre-Calc? That's a junior class. I thought I was smart getting into it as a Sophomore”, Frank quizzed, obviously impressed. Gerard made a mental note. Frank was smart. Gerard had failed Pre-Calc and here Frank was taking it early. Frank didn’t look the type to be really academic, it just surprised Gerard a little.

Mikey shrugged at Frank's obvious admiration. “I don’t know”, he answered honestly.

“Mikey didn’t you fail math last year?”, Gerard asked, recalling seeing Mikey’s report card being quite atrocious. His grades were pretty good, with mostly B’s and a 3.1 GPA, but his attendance was terrible. He missed twenty days the whole year, missed thirty eight individual classes separately, and had seventy two tardies. Gerard doesn’t know how Mikey managed to get a 3.1 without even applying himself. Gerard wasn’t too academic. He couldn’t figure out math to save his life and couldn’t get himself to fully understand any subject other than English. He was a slightly above average student and he had no issues with it. He saw Otter’s grades and they were absolutely terrible. Gerard took his 3.5 GPA (Three fourths A’’s, quarter B’s, one D) and was happy with it. He worked hard for it.

“A ‘C’ is not failing. They round a 69.5% to a C”, Mikey replied, pointing a limp fry at Gerard’s direction. “I think I was just really good at math and they never bothered to take me out of the smart classes.”

Frank started up his nodding again. He was looking at Mikey with wide eyes, almost with admiration. Gerard wanted to laugh his head off. Mikey was not by any means the poster child for academic excellence, despite what Frank might think. Mikey seemed to think it was pretty funny too. He was looking at Gerard with his eyes brows slightly raised, like he was about to burst out laughing.

“You know what”, Frank declared after a while. “I like this kid”, he threw his arm around Mikey who grmanced a bit under the weight of the other arm. “He’s funny and smart. I think I’ll keep him”.

“Goddammit Frank. You can’t go around kidnapping people. That’s not how you make friends. You’re gonna scare the kid”, Bob gruffed. He gave Mikey a raise of eyebrows and Mikey shrugged a bit in response that Gerard identified as an ‘it’s okay shrug’ . Bob relaxed a bit. Gerard watched interested, he thought he was the only one able to decode Mikey’s odd shrugs.

“It’s fine. Frank’s a snowflake compared to some of the things I’ve seen”, Mikey responded while picking Frank’s arm off him. Frank seemed a little disappointed.

“I’m not a snowflake”.

“Sure”. 

Frank pouted for a second before rebounding and perking up. He focused his energy on the other Way brother. Gerard actually felt a bit nervous as Frank looked him up and down. Frank lingered on Gerard’s shirt. Gerard could practically hear Frank trying to sound out the Iron Maiden sprawled out on it.

“So…”, Frank started after sizing Gerard up. “You like crappy hair metal?”, he asked. Gerard looked towards Ray and they made eye contact before busting out in uncontrollable laughter. God, it shouldn’t be this funny, but it was. Bob, Frank, and Mikey stared at them, probably wondering what was so funny. Gerard didn’t even bother to explain, he just watched Ray sputter out some half-assed explanation between the laughs. Maybe this school wouldn’t suck so badly.


	3. September 9th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday 9th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: all of this chapter takes place on the same day, it's just at diffrent times and POV. Also I don't know why, but it keeps on doing this weird thing were it turns normal text to emphisis. Just wanted to let y'all know that that's not how i typed it up
> 
> also yay, first Mikey POV

Friday 9th, 3:15 pm, Schoolyard

After school, Gerard wasted about fifteen minutes of precious get-to-the-bus time looking for Mikey. The brothers usually met up inside the bus and took seats next to each other, talking about how their days went. But today, Gerard didn’t see Mikey. He knew it probably wasn’t anything deep, maybe Mikey was just taking his time or he was talking to somebody. But Gerarc couldn’t help but be a little worried, it’s what brothers do. He hoped that Mikey didn’t finally mouth off to the wrong person and get his ass handed to him. Ultimately his fears caused him to leave the bus and do a quick sweep around the school for Mikey. He quickly looked around every classroom he passed for that signature glasses and thin frame to no avail. He almost decided to turn back and try to catch the bus when he saw Mikey in an almost empty room, sitting at a desk like school was still in session.

“Mikey!”, Gerard hissed from the doorway. He couldn’t see inside, but he bet there was a teacher in there. Mikey looked up from the desk and squinted at Gerard. “We gotta go”.

Mikey’s eyes widened. Gerard saw him mumble ‘Shit’ under his breath so softly that it was audible before he stood up and strood towards the door. “I got detention, Gerard. Go and catch the bus”, Mikey whispered with dispersion, urgeing Gerard to run for the bus. Gerard nodded and bolted down the hallway to the entrance of the school.

Gerard wasn’t very athletic, but he wasn’t out of shape either. He made it out to the fresh air, panting and out of breath. Gerard looked around for any signs of his yellow bus ride home to no avail. Shoot, he musta been too late. Gerard sighed and dug out his pack of cigarettes from his pocket. The walk back to Miss Tanya’s wouldn’t have been too far, maybe only thirty minutes if he didn’t screw around too much. It was a nicer area of things, so he probably wouldn’t have to worry about getting jumped. He also didn’t have to worry about Mikey getting jumped either when he walks back, so that was nice too. Gerard lit up his cancer stick right before he heard the familiar shrill voice of Ray Toro.

“Hey Gerard!”, Ray called out from behind Gerard. Gerard turned around, cigarette in mouth and waved.

“Hey Ray”, Gerard greeted back, making his way to the other teen. Ray smiled and slapped Gerard’s shoulder when he got near enough.

“What’s up?”, Ray asked, still wearing that obnoxious smile. Gerard would think that Ray’s smiles were fake and forced but even after knowing Ray for a week he knew that Ray wasn’t like that. Ray was cool.

“I missed my bus, man”, Gerard complained through tufts of smoke. “I’m gonna have to walk home”.

Ray winced a bit, his signature smile wearing off. “That sucks”, he sympathized. “Where’s Mikey? Did he catch the bus?”.

“Nope. He got detention. I don’t know what for, but I have my suspicions”, Gerard mused with a small grin creeping up. “He’s a little bastard for making me walk home alone”.

Ray laughed. “Frank got his ass landed in detention too. I think it was for like… I don’t fucking know. Smoking or something stupid that only Frank would do”, Ray grinned. Gerard noticed that Ray had a note of affection written in his eyes, like he found Frank’s mannerisms cute. Maybe one day Gerard would find Frank’s annoying tendencies cute too. “Anyways, I mean if you’re not in any hurry you could come over to my place, it’s just two blocks away”, Ray offered. “Only if you want to”.

Gerard thought about it. He wanted to. Usually it took Gerard a long time to warm up to people, if he did at all. But with Ray, he clicked immediately. He felt like Ray was a childhood friend that he always had by his side, not like he had just met Ray. At the same time, he didn’t know if he could trust Ray, not yet. He hadn’t told Ray about his past, not having parents, and being in the system. He hadn’t told Ray about his extensive history with fights and suspensions, xanax and boze, and pain. Who knew how Ray would react and who knew how long Gerard would be staying here anyways. Instead of listening to the part of him telling him not to get attached, Gerard did something very foolish.

“Sure, that’d be cool”, he smiled.

Ray smiled back and nodded. “Will your parents mind?”, he asked. Gerard had to bite his tongue to stop him from laughing.

“No”, he said starkly. 

Ray nodded and led Gerard to his place. They talked about Metallica for a while, walking through neighborhoods and streets. It wasn’t a long walk or anything, but Gerard noticed a huge difference between the houses. The direction that Ray was walking in was the opposite from Miss Tanya’s place and boy did it show. The standard suburban houses soons strung along into condensed town homes like the one Gerard’s mother had all those years ago before turning to dinky apartment complexes. It was a quick change too. They had been walking only fifteen minutes before Ray opened the door to an apartment building. Gerard followed in, stepping up the stairs cautiously as they creaked with instability.

“Sorry about… it”, Ray apoligzed, referring to the condition of the apartment complex. Gerard couldn’t really see what his facial expression was, but he could just sense that Ray was blushing. Ray’s huge main of curls blocked him from confirming it, but Gerard could just tell that a blush was lingering on his checks.

“Dude, do not apologize”, Gerard chuckled casually. He wanted to let Ray know that whatever he was feeling embarrassed about wasn’t worth it. He didn’t quite know what, but he assumed it was because the building so far looked really shabby. Maybe somebody had once made fun of Ray for it, that’d be real fucked up. In all honesty, it made Gerard feel more comfortable. It was something familiar amongst the wealthy suburbia.

“Sometimes when people come over here for the first time they get all wigged out and stuff”, Ray admitted. “A Lot of kids at our school are… well off”, Ray mumbled with a hint of disdain.

“I get what you mean. Mikey was really bummed out when he saw the school. He said it was a Richie school”, Gerard said. He wanted to let Ray know that it was okay, Gerard was going to judge like that. Gerard had been shoveled around his one array of poor neighborhoods, so he was used to it.

“I thought your bus went to the other side of town, though. The nice side?”, Ray asked. He lost the initial confidence in his voice that he started off with. He sounded like he asked a question that he really shouldn’t have. Gerard sighed. Maybe now would be the best time to drop the bomb on Ray, he was going to have to eventually. Why not while he was climbing what seemed to be an endless amount of stairs to Ray’s apartment. 

“Well I mean… I didn’t always live there?”, Gerard cautioned. Ray finally turned into a hallway and opened a white stained door. The inside of the apartment was very modest. A small kitchen was adorned to a living room which led out into what Gerard assumed was bedrooms and bathrooms. Crosses adorned every corner of the apartment and there was a Mary statue sitting on the corner of their table. It made Gerard think about when he used to go to church all those years ago.

“Yeah?”, Ray asked while taking a seat on a sofa and guestering for Gerard to follow. Gerard plopped down on the sofa with Ray and Ray seemed to acquire a bag of potato chips from nowhere, offering some to Gerard.

“Yeah, so I’m originally from around Newark but… um… my mom sort of got arrested when I was like twelve. My dad’s not really in the picture either, so Mikey and I got handed to the state. We’ve been shuffled about Southern Jeresy for a while, which was fucking terrible but we started getting placed into more homes up North, so that was nice. We just got a new home three weeks ago here. This is one of the nicer areas we’ve been placed in”, Gerard nervously mumbled through a mouthful of chips. People didn’t usually take to the Foster Kid news that well. They started asking dumb questions or just became weird about it, hence why Gerard only hung out with druggie goth-geek kids. They asked less questions, smoked more weed, and played dungeons and dragons.

Ray gave Gerard big sympathetic eyes, like the ones teachers sometimes gave Gerard after he got in trouble and they discovered his tragic backstory. Gerard had gotten used to looking like that. “Wow, dude… that’s… that’s rough”, was all Ray said, looking baffled. “I’m not gonna press you on it. Shit like that sounds hard. If you ever want to like… talk or anything… I’ll be here for you”, Ray assured. Gerard felt his stomach knot. Nobody ever was just _there_ for Gerard except Mikey. 

“Thanks”, Gerard croaked. Ray nodded and smiled.

“I got you, Gee”. Ray grabbed a remote from the coffee table from the table. “Wanna watch Star Wars or something?”. Gerard smiled. He knew Ray would be here to stick around.  
***  
Friday 9th, 9:15 am, Freshmen English

Mikey wasn’t a smart alec or anything, he didn’t go around trying to piss people off. He wasn’t exactly a big mouth, not exactly. He usually minded his own business and didn’t mutter a word. It was when he did open his mouth that it became big. He hated the way he held back his words, the way he bit his tongue constantly until he couldn’t any more. It was when his tongue bled, when his teeth couldn’t sink any further, that he opened it and said something that got him into heaps of trouble. 

That’s why that Todd guy always beat on him. Todd was a drug dealing shit talker that was in and out of court for drug dealing. Mikey figures that he was so pressed about everything since he was worried he’d get thrown in a juvenile hall, but that didn’t make Mikey feel any better when Todd would constantly make fun of MIkey. He had been so tired of sharing living quarters with Todd and his assholery that he never held back his tongue. Todd was sixteen and lanky, he didn’t seem the type to exactly win at a fight, but Mikey was thirteen and scrawny. It started out with some cursing and verbal interaction. Todd said that Mikey’s hair looked faggy and Mikey said Todd looked like he’d be somebody bitch when he finally went to prison. It escalated to some shoving before Todd decided to beat the living pulp out of Mikey. It became a recurring instance. Todd never did go to juvie and Mikey never did learn how to bite his tongue hard enough.

He had gotten better at it. Gerard always threatens to beat the guy that was roughing Mikey up, but Mikey had bitten his tongue and shook his head. He didn’t want Gerard to get into any more trouble than he already did. He saw the black eyes and busted knuckles. People were beating on Gerard and Gerard was beating them right back. He saw the hidden bottles and the crumbled cigarettes. Mikey had once taken a few sips of Gerard’s vodka stash and it tasted God awful. Mikey figures that Gerard must have been feeling terrible to try and drink that shit. It did make Mikey a bit looser and loopy, he liked that. It was like his muscles untensed and things became a bit sloppier. He guessed he understood why Gerard was always drinking it. He didn’t confront Gerard about it, though. He just bit his tongue whenever he saw Gerard with those hazy eyes and sharp alcohol smell.

Mikey couldn’t bite his tongue today. He hated his first period, English. He was never a huge English fan. It was based too much on opinion. Someone could read a book and think it’s absolute trash while someone else could think it’s amazing. There were no wrong answers in English as long as you backed yourself up. Mikey didn’t like that. He enjoyed knowing that his answer was either right or wrong. There was no inbetween. Gerard liked English, in a way Gerad was an inbetween. He was like this geeky kid that could also throw a punch. He wasn’t your stereotypical geek nerd getting bullied but at the same time he wasn’t a tough bad boy who didn’t care what people think. No, Gerard was a balance of both. Mikey wasn’t like that. He just was too unassuming to be cool and too jaded to be with the nerdy kids. He couldn’t find the balance. On one hand he liked all the geeky comics and playing DND but on the other hand all the nerdy kids pissed him off with how innocent and restless they were.

That’s why Mikey always made friends with the school stoners and bad kids. They weren’t shitty people and in reality where an array of every different stereotype blended together by their desire to cause trouble. They were the closest to the inbetween that Mikey so eagerly wanted to find. Mikey wasn't a natural trouble maker, rather he hung around trouble until it was spinning around him too fast and he got sucked in. He just sat back and watched his friends get into trouble, silently laughing until they managed to drag him in too. It wasn’t the best situation. Sometimes Mikey wished he could like English. 

His English teacher was a bitch. She had something against Mikey for some odd reason. Mikey didn’t know. All he did was sit around in the back of class and occasionally take notes. He wasn’t a trouble maker. Maybe she saw his record, he did have a record from his four middle schools. Apparently bringing your own knife to dissect frogs was a bad idea. The principal didn’t believe him when he said that. In the principals defence, Mikey wasn’t gonna use the knife for biology. Gerard and Mikey had a thing where at every school they went to they left their mark. Mikey carved his school desks with his name. It was weird, he didn’t know why he did it. All he knew was that he had been doing it for years and with the same knife. He nearly threw up when the principal said he’d have to confiscate the knife. That’s when the confessional came out. The ‘My mom’s in jail, my dad’s an alcoholic asshole. I’m a foster kid and that knife is special to me. Can I please have it back’. Mikey had shed a few tears after letting his tongue go like that. The principal had agreed to give it back but Mikey'd get expelled. What ever. They had been scheduled to leave that town in two weeks anyways.

“You’re late, Micheal”, his teacher snarled. Ms.Cartellini had large curly hair and wore cardigans and high waisted jeans. She looked like she was stuck in 1987 and acted like it was 1889. For someone so young, she had something against everything. Usually only old people were like that.

Mikey cringed at the use of his formal first name. Mikey hated his first name. It was so formal and boring but the reason he really hated his name was because it was the way the social workers and Foster parents referred to him. He hated it.

“It’s Mikey”, Mikey grumbled as he found a seat in the back of the classroom. He liked the back of classes, it was more comfortable from him to watch everybody than to feel watched. Everyone was watching him right now, but that was because he was fifteen minutes late to class. It wasn’t his fault his locker wouldn’t open.

“I don’t do ‘nicknames’. I can call you however I please”, Ms. Cartellini drilled. Mikey looked up from his desk and squinted at her, anger boiling in his stomach. He bit his tongue. He wasn’t going there. He could not open his mouth. “It is your legal name”, Ms.Cartellini added, like it was any reason to call Mikey something he didn’t want to be called.

“I’m aware”, Mikey tried not to grit his teeth as he pulled a pencil out of his backpack to start on notes. “I just prefer to be called Mikey. Your legal name is Cassandra Catrellini, but you _prefer_ to be called Ms. Cartellini.”

Ms.Cartellini pursed her lips and placed her hands on her hips. “You shouldn’t refer to me as my first name, it’s disrespectful to use first names with a teacher. I’ve been through six years of university to teach English to a bunch of delinquents. I don’t know why I did, but I did. You must respect me and use my last name. You did not go through six years of college, therefore I can refer to you as Micheal-”

“God, can’t you just call me ‘Mikey’”, Mikey interrupted, exasperated. Why was it so hard to be referred to as his preferred name. Nobody called him ‘Micheal’ unless they were telling him he was being expelled or moved. “I didn’t mean to insult you or disrespect you”, Mikey spat. “I just want to be called Mikey. That’s all. It’s not hard by any means”.

“Do you want detention today, boy?”, Ms.Cartellini threatened. Mikey rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know, how bout I check my calendar and get back to you”, Mikey seethed. It wasn’t his best comeback, but if you say anything through clenched teeth somebody will get mad. Ms.Cartellini made a small shrieking noise before grabbing a piece of paper and scribbling something down on it furiously.

“How about you just go to room 24 at three pm?”, she asked, walking over and handing Mikey a paper that had ‘Detention Slip’ written in large letters. Mikey sighed and pushed his glasses up again. 

“I guess I could clear my calendar if it’s that pressing”. 

***

Friday 9th, 3:00 pm, Room 24

Detention wasn’t that at first. Mikey got to the classroom at three pm exactly. He saw a geratric teacher stumble around at the front desk and scribble ‘DETENTION’ on the chalkboard before taking his place back at the table. Mikey just took a place at a random desk until he saw a panting Gerard at the door frame. 

Mikey, we gotta go”, he whispered. Mikey jumped from his desk. He forgot to tell Gerard at lunch that he had landed his first detention of the year. He quietly walked to the door, mumbling a “Shit”. 

“I got detention, Gerard. Go and catch the bus”, Mikey whispered. He felt bad. He didn’t want Gerard to miss the bus just because he forgot to tell Gerard that he had detention. It would be pretty shitty. Gerard nodded and ran out of the classroom. As Mikey walked back to his seat, he could hear the patterns of Gerard’s New Balances. With a sigh he sat back down at his desk and watched as the classroom slowly filled up with detention goers. Nearly all the desks had been filled up when Mikey heard a loud bang at the door. 

“What’s up?”, a booming voice that Mikey recognised as Frank hollered from the doorway. Mikey turned to see Frank in all his punk glory standing by the door and waving to the geratric man sitting in the front. The man just rolled his eyes. 

“Take a seat, Iero”, he droned. Frank’s smile wiped off and he pouted his lip. 

“That’s all, Mr.Benso? Just a ‘Take a seat’. I thought you’d be a little more excited to see your favorite student?”, Frank gasped while taking a seat next to Mikey. He gave Mikey a toothy smile and Mikey nodded back. At least he knew somebody here.

“Just because you are the most frequent student here does not mean you are my favorite”, Mr.Benson sighed. Mikey saw the wrinkles in Benso’s forehead crease as he rubbed his temples. It made Mikey wonder what kinds of torture he had been through to end up like that, all worn out. The kids here seemed to be pretty okay. It wasn’t like the crappy school Mikey went to when he stayed at Trina’s. That one sucked. The students were big, mean, and wild. Mikey seriously doubted that any of the kids were as bad as the good students at that old school. 

“Sup, Mikey”, Frank murmured quietly to Mikey. Mikey shrugged. “So, you think you're gonna be a detention regular or something? I’m here pretty often, I’m kind of a bad boy”, Frank mused with a playful grin that made Mikey chuckle softly. Yeah, Frank a bad boy. Frank was like the boy that wanted to be bad so deprestly but failed miserably and became whiny and annoying. But Mikey thinks it works for him in a way. Like Frank knew that he was a joke, it made it easier for everyone to laugh with him and not at him. Mikey liked that. Frank wasn’t too serious.

“You’re not a bad boy, Iero”, another voice seethed. Mikey looked up to see a kid with sharp teeth and dreads. The kid was short but built and had tanned sunkissed skin.Frank sneered at him. 

“It was a fucking joke, Wentz”, Frank spat. “You wouldn’t know much about that, though”. 

Pete rolled his eyes. “And you would? You’re the one that jumps the fucking gun all the time.” 

“What ever, Pete. It’s not my fault you think you’re hilarious. Just because you’ve got the whole football team to laugh at your dumb rape jokes doens’t mean you are a comedian”.

So this was the Pete Wentz character? Mikey felt like laughing. They sounded like bickering couples. Pete actually seemed to take offense to Frank’s last comment, though. His eyes got big and soft./p>

“I’m not a dick. I wouldn’t joke about that”, was all he said before taking a seat in the opposite end of the classroom. Frank rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath. 

“Anyways, back to what I was saying before I was interrupted, is this your first detention, Mikeyway?”, Frank asked. He still had a bit of venom dripped in his voice, but Mikey knew it wasn’t geared towards him. This was the most serious he’d seen Frank. Gerard would be glad to know that Frank’s capable of human emotions. 

“Here”, was all Mikey said. “Although I think I might be here sometimes, you might wanna save a seat for me”, Mikey added with a smile, just to joke around. Frank laughed and nodded. 

“Definitely”. 

About thirty minutes further into the detention, the light mood turned sour. Mikey and Frank had tried passing the time by playing a quite somber game of Tic Tac Toe and quietly discussing the logistics backflips into swimming pools when Mr.Benson called Frank up to the desk. Frank sighed and claimed it was time for him to clean the chalk boards, something apparently only Frank had to do since he landed detention so much. Besno left the erasers on his desk and he left the classroom claiming he had collected the English department’s erasers for Frank to clap out too. Mikey saw Pete grin maliciously. 

On his way up, Frank brushed against Pete's arm. Pete didn’t say anything, although Mikey could see from the back that Pete had tensed up. On Frank’s way back, Pete stuck his leg out and tripped Frank. The other detention goers laughed as Frank picked himself up from the floor, earasers in hand. 

“Fuck you, Pete. You’re a piece of shit, you know that?”, Frank cursed as he pulled himself off the floor. 

“And you’re not? All you do is sit around, smoke weed, and feel sorry about yourself. You’re the fucking piece of shit, Iero. Always wanting to cause something”, Pete scoffed, swinging his legs under the desk. Mikey knew where this was going and he bit his lip from smiling. It was gonna be a scene. 

_“Shut the fuck up, Soccer Cunt”, Frank spat._

_“Wow, so creative, because I play a sport it’s funny? I bet your fat ass can’t even run a lap around the field”._

_“The fuck you say?”, Frank challenged. Pete smiled and tilted his head._

_“So you’re stupid, don’t wash your hair and deaf? Not a very promising combo”, Pete cooed back._

_That’s all it took for Frank to throw the first punch. Pete was still sitting on his desk, so he recoiled and the desk slid back. The other detention goers stood up and cheered on. Mikey didn’t have to get up, he already had a good view. He guessed he had to side with Frank, since Frank was his friend and all that. Pete stood up from his desk and had launched onto Frank, sending them both tumbling down. They scuffled on the floor, looking like fish out of water._

_Frank had been on top. He was throwing punches at speeds that Mikey didn’t know were possible at Pete’s stomach. Pete wasn’t just taking it either. He was landing a few punches to Frank’s shoulders before scoring a good one to his jaw. Frank cursed and found himself of Pete, clasping his jaw._

_Pete got off the floor too. While Frank was taking steps back and looking like he was running out of steam, Pete just seemed more energetic. Frank backed up towards the outskirts of the desks, a few feet away from Mikey, when Pete grabbed the metal trash can and chucked it at Frank. Frank didn’t even realize that a whole trashcan had been thrown his way until the can narrowly missed Frank and hit Mikey instead._

_Mikey didn’t make a single noise, not even when the metal can hit him right in the head. He just clutched his head and concentrated on the throbbing. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. He spent a good portion of his life being roughed around. Gerard thought it was just at Trina’s house, but in reality there were so many other homes that had residents that occasionally took a punch out on Mikey. The trashcan didn’t even hurt that badly._

_Frank was the first to get to him. “Holy Shit, Mikes! Are you okay?”, Frank worried. He ruffled through Mikey’s hair and looked around for what Mikey assumed was a bump or something. Mikey didn’t really pay too much attention to health. Too many cute eight grade girls in one place._

_“Yeah, I’m fine”, Mikey groaned. He was aware that now most of the detention goers were looking at him. It made him uncomfortable but at the same time he wasn’t really too upset about it. The pounding of his head let him know that he’d have to ice it. He hoped that Gerard could sneak him an ice pack. He didn’t need Miss Tanya thinking he was getting into fights. He knew that Miss Tanya was already more fond of Gerard with his politeness and seemingly better statistics. Gerard was the one who helped out with dinners while Mikey got holed up in detention. Gerard kept a straight face while Mikey rolled his eyes. Gerard could bite his tongue when Mikey couldn’t. The one thing that Gerard couldn’t always control was his fists, but being a good fighter was better than being a smart ass. Mikey really admired Gerard sometimes… Most of the time._

_“Oh my God! Shit! I didn’t mean to hit you, I’m so-”_

_“Shut the fuck up Pete or I’ll kick your ass”, Frank snarled. If his head wasn’t hurting so much, Mikey might have actually laughed at the way Pete fucked off and actually seemed to be scared of Frank. Mikey would have also laughed at how motherly Frank was acting, inspecting Mikey and looking at him with those sympathetic eyes._

_“It’s really fine”, Mikey mumbled. “It didn’t hurt too much, anyways”._

_Frank gave Mikey an incredulous look. He even crossed his arm and cocked his hip. “Dude, that trash can hit you fucking hard. You should go to the nurse or something. You might have a concussion or something”._

_Mikey shook his head. “I don’t. Trust me, I know what they feel like. I’m fine.”_

_***_

_On their walk home, since Frank lived close to Miss Tanya’s house, the boys walked together. Frank convinced Mikey to stop by at the local convenience store that was connected to a gas station/ car mechanic. Apparently Frank’s mom’s sister or cousin owned it or whatever ‘cause a cute looking girl gave Frank and Mikey a free popsicle and some boys outside in the garage asked Frank what was going on in school. Frank led them to a bench outside the garage where two guys were working._

_“Just the same old stuff. I got detention today. Fought Pete Wentz”._

_“Pete Wentz?”, one of the guys working on the car asked. Mikey gathered that he was a cousin of some sorts to Frank. He was working on some hubcaps. Mikey wasn’t a car genius but he knew how to lift a hubcap and hot wire a car even though he couldn’t drive it. A friend from his third junior high, Tommy, was some sort of a car fanatic and Mikey saw him mess around with enough cars to know that you needed a screwdriver to hotwire most cars and that the older the car the higher the hub caps sold. He didn’t know much more than that._

_“Yeah, Pete Wentz. He was just being a shithead. I totally won. He threw a trash can at my buddy Mikey, though”, Frank explained while throwing an arm around Mikey. They were sitting in the benches outside the garage, eating their red popsicles in the mid September heat. “Right in the head”._

_“Really?”, the guy asked. “It hurt?”._

_Mikey had been relatively quiet this whole time. He wasn’t great with new people. “Not really.”_

_“Pete plays soccer, all his weight is in his legs. He has a pussy throw”, Frank chriped, licking his lollipop and grinning. Mikey hated how cocky Frank could be, but yeah, Frank totally won._

_“And aim”, Mikey added. Frank chuckled. A different guy, the one checking the oil, gave the two a raised eyebrow. He had bushy eyebrows and it made Mikey think about Gerard. Gerard had caterpillars for brows._

_“Yeah, the trashcan was meant for me”, Frank explained._

_The guy working on the hub caps smiled. It was a real smile, like he was actually interested in what Frank and Mikey were talking about. Mikey studied him. The guy was taller than Frank but definitely shorter than Mikey. He had the same stocky and muscular build as Frank and was tanned. He had similar black greasy hair to Frank and Gerard except he was cut shorter than Frank’s shaggy maine and probably natural compared to Gerard’s. Gerard was with their mother’s darker hair, even before he dyed it, and was straight and sleek when he actually washed it. Mikey wishes he could kick Gerard for that. Mikey may have gotten his father’s color, but he got his mother's wild hair. Unlike his mother before prison, he couldn’t just put it in a nice femine updo, he had to fight his hair with gel and product to not look like he’s wearing a frizzy mushroom cap on his head._

_“Pete Wentz’s a dick. I remember him from last year, always had something to say”, he mumbled, screwing the third hubcap off. Mikey noted that the guy was either a graduate or a drop out. “Hey, kid”, the guy called, looking up from the tires and at Mikey. “What’s your name? I know Frank said it, but I got bad ears”._

_Mikey didn’t even stutter when he said, “Mikey”._

_The guy nodded. “Auggie, short for Augusto”, Auggie grimaced like he didn’t like his name.“The buffoon working on the oil is Marcus. Is your name short for Micheal?”, he asked, even though Mikey thought that should be a given._

_“Yeah. Nobody really calls me that, though. Only teachers and legal stuff”, Mikey huffed. He didn’t mean to, he was just sensitive about his name. It was the whole reason he landed himself in detention, after all._

_“Legal stuff?”, Marcus asked._

_“Legal stuff”, Mikey answered, remembering when he was watching Tommy lift caps and a copper pull up. They took them both to the station and put them in cuffs ‘cause Tommy looked about sixteen and they musta assumed Mikey was older than thirteen. The cops didn’t actually charge them with anything and they didn’t have to appear in court, they just wanted to scare the boys a bit. It was a smaller town so they could do that. There was also the legal stuff as in the workers and the papers. Marcus didn’t press it and it wasn’t like Mikey wouldn’t tell them. He’s not an open book but at the same time he’s not hiding anything. You just gotta ask._

_Instead of elaborating, Mikey said, “Those are nice caps, 93’ Camry. I heard the go for about $70 a piece”. Frank gapped at him and Auggie smiled._

_“What do you know about hubcaps, Mikeyway?”, Frank asked. Marcus just laughed which was weird cause Marcus looked like a real rough guy but had a slightly femine laugh. Mikey shrugged. Not a lot. He just knew that’s what Tommy said right before the copper._

_“He’s right, though. They’re expensive”. Auggie paused. He pointed a finger at Frank. “Don’t go stealing caps, Frankie. Your mother will kill you”, he warned._

_“He’s too slow to lift caps, Auggie”, Marcus scoffed._

_“Shut up, Marcus! I can fucking run circles around you if I wanted to”, Frank yelped. Mikey had to stifle back his laughter because damn, Frank was reminding him of a little chihuahua. They’re little but boy can they bark._

_“Pfft. Sure.”_

_Frank didn’t even say anything back to that. Instead, he slouched into the park bench and slurped on his ever melting popsicle. To Mikey’s horror, Frank proceeded to take a bite, a whole _bite_ out of the popsicle. Disgusting. Mikey had to look away. He could not look at Frank and his popsicle chewing. Instead, he looked at the ceiling of the garage. Tons of gadgets and tools hung on the wall and Mikey thinks he could name maybe a quarter of them. Definitely not all. His eyes lingered to the corners of the walls, which were filled with tons of foot-long portraits. Mikey’s eye was especially caught by one that seemed ever so familiar. It was of a woman wearing one of those old timey Italian dresses. It looked extremely familiar. _

_“Are you looking at the pictures?”, Frank asked. He leaned into the table and smiled like he was genuinely interested in the pictures. Mikey noticed that Auggie and Marcus’s ears piped up, they were listening to.  
Mikey knew when people were listening, living life on egg shells taught him that._

_“Yeah, the one with the Italian girl is…”, Mikey racked his brain for the right word to describe it. Before he could even find the word, much less say it, Frank was already going 160mph._

_“Amazing? Yeah, it’s pretty fucking cool. Auggie’s mom bought it from this older lady like ten years ago. I was like five when they brought it in and was in total awe-”_

_“Older lady?”, Mikey asked, interrupting what was obviously gonna be one of Frank’s tangents. Frank nodded._

_“Yeah, Auggie’s mom knew her daughter. They lived in some apartments a little while further north. She was an amazing artist though. Auggie, tell Mikey ‘bought the lady who painted the Italian girl”, Frank shouted at Auggie. Auggie had finished taking the caps of and was grabbing some newer caps._

_“The Italian girl? Oh, you mean Helen’s painting?”, Auggie asked. That’s approximately when Mikey’s whole world shattered. Helen? Like… his… his grandmother. He must have looked like a deer in headlights because Frank looked at Mikey like he was a ghost. “She passed away a few years ago”._

_“Mikey?”, Frank asked. He had said something. He was just sitting there. He was just staring. He felt his stomach jump. Like a fish. Like a dolphin. It had been about three years since she passed, and Mikey didn’t really get sad about it anymore. He didn’t think about it often. He was eleven for fucks sake. It was just that sometimes, just sometimes, he got a little upset. Sometimes he thought about her and then that got him thinking about his mom. Shot. He hadn’t written to his mom in weeks. She must be worried. Shoot._

_“Fuck”. Mikey thought he was gonna throw up. Everything was rushing in his head. He hated when this happened. Maybe that’s what Gerard felt like when he drank. Like he needed it to just shut off. Mikey wished he could shut it off. He wished his brain would just shut up._

_“What’s wrong?”, Frank asked, concerned. Auggie and Marcus had stopped working on the cars and were peering over at him._

_“Nothing.” That was a lie. Mikey thought he opened up. He didn’t think he was an information stingy type, not like Gerard. “It’s just”, Mikey started, not wanting Frank and his cousins to think he was weird. “Helen Rush? Right? Short, Italian, has a daughter that lived by Newwark? That’s my grandmother”._

_Frank’s eyes went big again (for the millionth time today). “Wait, are you fucking serious! That’s… Fucking cool man! You’re Italian?”. 160 mph. Mikey’s stomach was still churning, but at least he could distract himself with Frank’s questions._

_“Half”, Mikey answered._

_“Dad or Mom?”, Marcus called out from the garage. “It matters.”_

_“Mom”, Mikey gulped. He didn’t like to think about the fact that his mother was in a cell. He wasn’t going to think about that. “She raised me.” It wasn’t a lie, she did raise him for the majority of his life. Plus, most of his Foster Parents were Italian of some sorts. Miss Tanya certainly was._

_“Cool. If you couldn’t tell, we’re all Italian. We were really scared that Frank wasn’t gonna make with and Itallians. Good to know he’s not a complete fuck up”, Marcas said._

_“What about the other side?”, Auggie asked. “Your father?”._

_Mikey scoffed. “Hell if I know”. He decided that’s all he was gonna give and everyone seemed to kind of get the message. They spent the rest of the night talking about Italian soap dramas (Mikey was ashamed to say he may or may not have watched a few when he was younger) and cars. Frank let Mikey bum a few cigarettes and stopped eating his popsicle like a barbarian, so Mikey would consider it a good night._


	4. September 11th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard gets nightmeres and sometimes Mikey feels alone but swallows it

Sunday 11th, 2:48 am, Gerard and Mikey’s room

Gerard knew he couldn’t keep on doing this. It was going to have to end eventually. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this for a few white pills. It’s not like he needed the pills. He just really really wanted them. That was all. He didn’t have to, he just wanted to.

He was at his dealer’s home. He was fifteen. He was in the kitchen… wait no, the dining room. There was a table and there were multiple chairs. The chairs were nice chairs, not foldable chairs, not these were nice chairs. They had white cushions and were decorated with fern and leaf patterns. They were soft. That’s all Gerard concentrated on as he bobbed his head up and down, looking down at the chair. He knew if he concentrated with what was in front of him then he’d lose it. He’d break down and cry and runaway. So he looked at the leafy patterns as he sucked his dealer off. He didn’t have a job, didn’t have allowance, and he needed those pills. He kept his poker face.

He was a terrible brother. He knew that. He saw the way that Mikey looked at him, with those large orbs of admiration, hidden away behind a bad haircut and glasses. Mikey looked up to Gerard, and here Gerard was blowing a thirty year old man for five Xannies. Gerard knew that he was terrible, that’s why he needed the pills. He needed them so that he could forget that he was terrible. Whenever the dealer, Eddi Santorini, moaned or embedded his finger deeper into Gerard’s greasy hair, Gerard just focused on the ferns. The ferns were green, filled with life, and flourishing, even on the stitch. Gerard wished he could be a fern.

Gerard woke up abruptly. He looked around the dark room, catching the outlines of the tiny dresser he shared with his brother. This was stupid. Two years had passed and he was still having those dreams. He wiped his eyes and sighed. It had been three months since his last Xanax and a month since he was able to buy a bottle of anything. The thing that sucked about moving around so often was that Gerard struggled to find dealers and liquor stores that didn’t card. Whatever. Gerard didn’t _need_ those. He’ll get by. Maybe. 

Gerard silently laughed at that thought. He’ll figure it out. There’s always a way.

*

Sunday 11th, 3:30 pm

It was Mikey’s birthday. He was officially fourteen. He didn’t do anything. Birthdays aren't really special when you don’t have parents. Gerard had given him a pack of cigarettes for his birthday and apologized for not having enough money to buy anything else. Mikey hugged him and said it was great. 

He hung out with Frank at the Iero Mini Mart and paid Frank back for the borrowed cigarettes. Auggie was there and so was his younger sister, Dianna. They played poker for cigarettes and then Frank and Mikey walked back. Mikey had invited Gerard to come with him, but Gerard claimed he didn’t want to spend anymore time with Frank than needed. Whatever. Mikey won five cigarettes so he wasn’t even upset that Gerard was moping around all day.


	5. September 12th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday 12th, September 1994

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dreamin bout the day that you wake up to find that what your looking for has been here the whole time

Monday 12th, 11:32 am , School Bleachers

Mikey was a bit shocked to see that he wasn’t alone in bunking off gym. Well no, he wasn’t surprised that there was someone else skipping gym under the bleachers, he was just surprised to see who it was. Mikey had slid his way out of doing laps and under the school’s bleachers (which were huge) to see Pete Wentz huddled under the fifth row of bleachers, smoking a joint.

“Don’t tell Couch'', Pete begged. His eyes got buggy with desperation and he seemed quite peeved. It made Mikey want to laugh. He sounded like Gerard when he used to break coffee mugs and beg Mikey not to snitch on him since Gerard was twelve, too young for coffee, and not supposed to break mugs. But that was years ago, back when they actually had a mother to snitch too. Times have changed. 

“I didn’t know Soccer Cunts smoked pot?”, was all Mikey said. His typical deadpann quivered a bit towards the end of the statement, making it a question. Pete just winced and shook his head.

“We aren’t _supposed_ to”, he answered, emphasizing ‘supposed’. “It’s not like I’m a stoner or anything. I just need to relax sometimes, you know?”, he added with a smile.

“Relax in the middle of gym?”, Mikey asked. 

“In the middle of gym”, Pete nodded. They stood in an awkward pause for a few seconds. Mikey hadn’t been expecting any one to be under the bleachers, it had looked pretty empty. All he wanted to do was hide from doing laps, but now he was stuck making small talk with Frank’s arch nemesis or whatever. He considered walking back out and actually doing the laps to spare this awkwardness before Pete spoke up. 

“Wanna hit?”, Pete offered. He didn’t seem stingy about it, like he was upset about sharing. Mikey debated it for about three seconds. He had lunch in another period, it wasn’t a good idea to be high around Gerard.

“Nah, no thanks”.

Pete furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “I’ve never met anyone who’d pass up on free drugs”, he said with a laugh. Mikey shrugged again. 

“I’ve got lunch next period with my brother. He’ll kill me if he smells it”. It wasn’t a complete lie. Gerard wouldn’t kill him, though. Gerard had his slew of vices and Mikey knew that. He didn’t know if Gerard knew he knew, though. Gerard wouldn’t say anything to Mikey ‘cause that would be hypocritical on his end. At the same time, he wouldn’t be happy with Mikey either. 

Pete laughed. “Alright man, just don’t tell the couch to me”, he started up again. He took a hit from the joint before looking at Mikey with the same big eyes he had been wearing earlier. “You’re not gonna tell him, are you?”.

Mikey inhaled sharply in humor. “No? I don’t have anything against you. You have just as much right to get high behind some bleachers as anyone else”.

“I threw a trash can at you”.

Mikey shrugged. “It was an accident”.

“I thought you were friends with Iero?”, Pete asked with a quirk of an eyebrow. Mikey shrugged. Was being friends with Frank that much of a motive to get Pete in trouble? What the hell even went down between Frank and Pete?

“I am”, Mikey stated, taking a seat on the dirt next to Pete. “I mean, I’ve known him for a week, but you know, he’s cool.” Mikey thought about it. One week was too soon to become friends with someone. But Frank was cool, though. Gerard said he was too annoying and obnoxious, but Mikey thought that his obnoxiousness was endearing. It was fun. Frank was fun. 

Peted made ‘hmp’ noise and nodded. “He said anything about me?”, Pete lightly inquired, or at least he meant to. Mikey could clearly hear something in Pete’s voice. His voice had gone an octave higher and seemed a bit… whiney. 

“He says he hates you. Never said why, though”. Mikey made some conclusions up in his head. Maybe Frank and Pete got into a fight or maybe Pete stole Frank’s girlfriend or something. The possibilities were endless. 

Pete just scoffed and shook his head. “Typical Iero”, he muttered under his breath. “Sorry about the trash can”.

Mikey chuckled. “It’s okay.”

Pete gave Mikey a faded smile, the kids that you only smile when high, and took another long drag from the joint. “Hey, I haven't seen you here like… ever? What’s up about that?”.

“Actually I’m new around here”

“Really? I was new two years ago. It fucking sucked. Nobody here to show me the ropes or anything. Hey! If you want, I can show you around the town sometime?”

Mikey hesitated. He didn’t know if he could just trust Pete. What if he was setting him up? Oh well, it’s not anything Mikey couldn’t handle. “I’d like that”, Mikey said with a small smile creeping up on his lips.


	6. September 22nd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thursday 22nd

Thursday 22nd, 4:30 pm, Ray’s place

Gerard felt quite toasty sitting in the middle of Ray’s room, looking at Ray’s dungeon master book. It had been a long time since he last played.

“Think we can get a party together?”, Gerard asked.

Ray smirked. “We can bully Frank into playing. We got Mikey too, that’s enough”.


	7. September 30th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday 30th, September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> people really suspend you for anything. in america, a school will suspend you (force you to stay home for three to two weeks) when you do something bad. The amount of time of suspension depends on the severity of your trouble.
> 
> Also, I hope every body is staying safe in the current state of the world. If you are going to protests, please be safe! I hope y'all all are doing okay.

Friday 30th, 3:40 pm, Miss Tanya’s Home

Gerard hadn’t seen Mikey on the bus and had assumed Mikey caught detention or was hanging out afterschool. He was surprised to see that Mikey was already home by the time that Gerard got back and figured that Mikey might have cut class and walked earlier or something. He could tell by the way Mikey had the volume of his headphones up (the boys weren’t allowed to play music out loud) that he was upset. He’d ask Mikey later when he wasn’t being a drama queen. 

Gerard finished up some homework and shoved it into his clean bookbag. He never knew the wonders of organizing your bookbag until he cleaned his out last week. It was actually really nice having a clean bag. Gerard had wandered into the kitchen and helped Miss Tanya make Rosemary Chicken and Broccoli for dinner, since Gerard was actual kind at times. Miss Tanya treated the boys pretty okay, so he’d help out and not be a shithead to her. At the old home Gerard went around trying to be a shithead. Gerard at Dinner and cleaned up dinner (without Mikey he may add) and then took a shower. It was getting dark when Gerard finally reentered the room he and Mikey shared and decided to interrogate his younger brother.

Gerard flopped down onto the pillow-blanket fortress that Mikey had made and tore the cover off Mikey. Mikey immediately cursed at Gerard and tried to pull the covers back up, but Gerard wouldn’t let him. He held on to the blanket and eventually turned around to face Gerard. “The fuck you want, Gee”, Mikey groaned as he rolled over. Gerard almost jumped back when he saw the purple shinner on Mikey’s cheek. It was a bruise.

“Shit Mikes, where’d that come from”, Gerard asked, concerned. He hoped it wasn’t a kid at school. He’d beat the hell out of that kid for Mikey. He’d beat him so bad that the coppers would come and arrest him. He felt his blood start to boil at this imaginary kid.

“Miss Tanya. She slapped me pretty good. Not anything I haven’t taken before”, Mikey drosiley replied before sinking lower into the blanket fortress.

“What?” So it wasn’t a kid, it was Miss Tanya. Gerard started to direct his anger to Miss Tanya before remembering that Miss Tanya was a pretty just woman. If you do no wrong you will get no wrong. “What happened? She doesn’t usually hit for no reason”, he added. He’d need to hear the whole story before getting mad.

“I got suspended”.

“Mikey, it’s the second week of school, what do you mean you got suspended? You just act like you didn’t know you were breaking the rules and they let you go. What did you even do?”, Gerard inquired. He wasn’t exactly yelling or scrutinizing Mikey, but he wasn’t exactly laughing either. He made a promise to Mikey that he'd never ever try to parent Mikey, but sometimes that kid needed some guidance.

Mikey just rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Well… it started of with me just you know… I kind of had missed a few days-”

“Mikey it’s the second month, how many days were there to miss?”, Gerard asked incredulously. Seriously, it was the second week of school. They didn’t even get real work yet. Why would you skip class when you weren’t even doing anything in class?

“I hadn’t showed up this whole week… or last week for that matter. Today was the first day”, Mikey hesitantly answered. Gerard shook his head but laughed a little. This kid was going to be the death of him. “A few weeks ago, I sort of befriended this one Sophmore. I met him while skipping gym actually, he was smoking a blunt behind the bleachers while I was trying to avoid running laps. Anyways, basically we’ve been skipping third period together to walk down the grocery store down the road and shoplift candy bars.”

Gerard laughed a hearty laugh at that. He had to admit, it was funny. Mikey’s brian worked differently than Gerard’s. While Gerard thought things out and pondered future consequences, Mikey just did things. He didn’t think… like at all. It led to him doing some incredibly stupid things, like cutting class to steal candy bars. That sounded like something a seven year old child would do.

“So that’s why you were suspended?”, Gerard asked. It didn’t seem likely that was the whole reason. You never got suspended for skipping. 

“No”, Mikey started and Gerard nodded his head, knowing he was right. “I showed up for the third period today and the teacher decided to give me shit for it. She was saying shit like, ‘was your little vacation nice?’ and ‘where were you this whole time’. I told her I went to Fiji but only during her period so she threatened to call mom and dad and I told her to do it”.

Gerard winced, he could already see where the story was going. Sometimes Mikey got really moody and angry about everything. Gerard knew exactly where the story was going.

“Alright”, Gerard said, motioning for Mikey to continue.

“She said, “Oh boy, I’ll make an example out of you. Teach everybody not to back talk. I’ll call your father first, what’s his work’s number?’. I told her if she found it to let me know, that I'd been looking for it too... She didn’t like that answer. She then said, ‘Don’t be mouthy, boy. Let me call your mother’s work.’ I gave her the state prison’s number. I’ll just say that she was not too pleased when the receptionist answered with ‘Hello? Jersey State Prison. How can I help you?’. She went red in the face and sent me to the office.”

Gerard leaned over the heap of blankets to face Mikey who was laying flat on the floor and looking at the ceiling. He was looking stoney eyed and his lip was slightly puffed out, making him look younger than he actually was. He was in one of his moods again. It pained Gerard to see his younger brother like this. Sure, Gerard had gone through exactly what Mikey had gone through, but Gerard still felt so bad for his brother. He had to remind himself that Mikey was just fourteen, really young, and really hurt. Mikey hadn’t hardened in the Way Gerard had. Gerard Way was a fucking mess, but he did it in a way wear nobody saw how much he was hurting. He hid his hurt with a cigarette, a beer bottle and a few fist fights, making him seem tough. Mikey couldn’t quite hide the hurt all the way, there were some moments when it shines through the nonchalant exterior he tried to play. He was also in _that_ age where everything that sucks is amplified by teenagehood. Gerard felt so bad, he wanted to embrace Mikey, stoke his hair, and tell him it’d be alright. They’d make it out together, but he didn’t not if it was true. He wasn’t going to lie to Mikey.

“Hey, don’t…”, don’t what? What was Gerard going to say to make Mikey feel better? Gerard tried to remember what he wanted somebody to tell him when he was that age. What would have made him feel better at fourteen. He couldn’t think of anything that someone could have said that would have made him feel better. It started to make him angry. There wasn’t anything that could fix it. Instead of soft soothing words, Gerard sputtered, “Wanna smoke?”.

Mikey nodded. Gerard put on a denim jacket and they rolled out of their blanket fortress and climbed out the window. Miss Tanya would skin their hide if she found out they smoked on her property. The brothers settled on porch steps like they had the night before their first day of school. It was pretty late, Miss Tanya was probably asleep so she wouldn’t bust them and if Trevor dared to say something, Gerard would throw a punch. He was so riled up on emotions that he was actually wanting to punch something (which was rare for Gerard who was pretty nonviolent and didn’t start things). 

Gerard scooted close to Mikey and snuggled onto his shoulder. Maybe Mikey being as tall as him wasn’t so bad. He fiddled around his coat pocket for his cigarettes. He took two out, lit them both, and handed one to Mikey. Gerard remembers when he was twelve and Mikey was nine. Gerard would smoke in secret, not wanting to be a bad influence on Mikey. He didn’t want Mikey to pick up the nasty habit. Now they were, both sitting out on the porch steps of their Foster home smoking cigarettes. 

“Gerard”, Mikey started. His voice was shaky and rasp. Gerard didn’t know if it was from the cigarette, it being late, or if he was on the verge of crying. “Are we bad kids?”.

Gerard jerked his head off Mikey’s shoulder. “Of course we aren’t. Why would we be?”, he asked. They weren’t bad kids. 

“Look Gee, you don’t have to bullshit with me anymore. I know we’re messed up. I know what we do. We aren’t good kids. But the question is are we bad kids?”, Mikey asked while staring out into the distance. Gerard noticed that he was doing that alot, starring and not making eye contact. 

Gerard took a drag of his cigarette before answering. “You’re not a bad kid, Mikes. I know we’re screwed up, both of us. But we’re not bad. Sure, we might not always do what most people think are good. I know you’re some sorts of a kleptomaniac and are so quiet until you don’t know when to shut up. That gets you into trouble sometimes, you shouldn’t bottle things up and explode like you did today. We don’t do good things, but it doesn’t mean we are bad. Deep down we are good. We wouldn’t be doing the things we are if we were bad kids. If we were bad kids, we would be raising hell and making others feel just as bad as we do. But we don’t. We keep our head down and only act out when we have to. We aren’t bad kids, Mikey, and even if we were, who cares? Right now we don’t worry about if we are good or bad, we worry about how to survive”, Gerard finished with finality and vigor. He felt a wave of passion stick him. 

Their main goal was to survive and get the hell away. Gerard fantasised about the day that he could own his own place and when his mother would get out of jail. He used to fantasise about when his father would come home, but he cut that out years ago. He hoped that his current fantasies would have better outcomes. It would. He would get his own place the second he turned eighteen. He would.

Mikey shifted awkwardly and sighed, letting his head drop to his hands with the cigarette still in his mouth. Gerard threw his arm around Mikey’s careful not to burn him with the lit cigarette. It may or may not have happened before. They stayed like that for a while, huddling and silently smoking the last of Gerard’s pack. Mikey was the first one to move, fiddling in his front pocket for something. Gerard watched curiously, wondering what he was looking for and wondering if that was his jacket that was his. He was going to say something to Mikey about it being his jacket when Mikey pulled out what he had been looking for. Gerard immediately recognised it as a blunt. A big one at that.

“Wanna?”, was all Mikey asked. He was holding it in the palm in his hand away from him like it was cursed. The moonlight allowed Gerard to see that Mikey had a red tint on his face, like he was a bit embarrassed. He wouldn’t meet Gerard’s eyes and was looking down. Mikey finished off the rest of his cigarette and crushed it out on the sidewalk.

“Miss Tanya will kill us”, Gerard mumbled as Mikey played with the ashes, engraving it in the cement. “She might slap us”, Gerard mused. Miss Tanya had slapped Gerard the third day they were here when he said ‘fuck’. It wasn’t hard or anything.

“I don’t care. It might actually make me feel something”, Mikey mumbled back.

“You ever smoked pot before?”Gerard asked. He felt kind of terrible. Gerard and Mikey talked alot about their emotions, but they never really talked much about the shittier things they did. They never talked about Gerard’s Xannies or Mikey’s kleptomaniac tendencies. They needed to talk more.

“Yeah…”, Mikey trailed off. “I smoked it like a few times in junior high and then again with Pete this last week. I bought some from his friend, Joe. I figured it’d be useful some time”.

Gerard nodded. It would be useful. At the sametime, he felt a bit wary about smoking it with his brother. It would be like the age gap that had separated them would be closed. Mikey would always be his younger brother but he wouldn’t be his baby brother anymore. Mikey wasn’t a baby anymore and he hadn’t been for a while, as much as Gerard would deny it. It made Gerard’s heart break because Mikey should be a baby. He was fourteen, he shouldn’t be smoking pot and getting suspended. Maybe Gerard associated Mikey’s innocence with their old life, the life before their mother was incarcerated. Maybe seeing Mikey grow up hurt Gerard because he saw Mikey following the same path as him and he knew how much of a screw up he was. Maybe it was inevitable and Gerard should just accept it. They were gonna be screw ups together. Yeah, he could get down with that.

“Yeah. Let’s do it”, Gerard answered. He pulled out his lighter again and lit the blunt which Mikey already had in his mouth. It hurt Gerard to light that blunt. He felt like lighting that blunt would also be lighting away the last of Mikey’s childhood. It hurt him so bad, seeing Mikey cross over to the real world, no more childhood fantasies of Daddy coming back or Mommy miraculously showing up at their doorstep the whisk them away. It was the real world and it made Gerard want to cry seeing Mikey take a hit from the blunt. But when Mikey passed the blunt over and Gerard took his first hit, he felt his shoulder’s loosen and muscles relax. He felt his brian melt away and suddenly everything didn’t suck so badly.


	8. October 1st

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 1st at the North State Prison Jail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Title is an Alica Keys refrence. I love that women, her voice is smooth as silk... not that I'd ever had silk before. 
> 
> Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL Y'ALL SUPPORT!!! It means alot and y'all sharing your stories make my hear ache and warm all at the same time. If any body ANYBODY wanna talk, if you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, please email me at dang.kamsu28@gmail.com . I'd be more than happy to listen your woes and comfort you. Please stay safe in these hard times. I wish nothing but the best for you,'
> 
> Dang Su Kam

OCTOBER

Saturday 1st, 1: 32, North State Prison Family Room

“What have you boys brought for me?”.

Gerard sat down at the circular table where his mother was sitting and smiled ear to ear. He was carrying an assortment of candies from the vending machine. He was able to sconder up about five dollars in quarters from around the school.

“Twix”, Gerard proudly said as he presented the chocolates to his mother. He dropped the bars at the table in front of his mother like a dog drops a killed duck in front of their owner. “I know you don’t get that around here much”.

She smiled and slung her cold fingers around Gerard’s check and pulled him in for a kiss on the cheek. Gerard quivered at the chilliness of her hand and the wetness of the kiss. Once she released him, she repeated the act with Mikey who didn’t even recoil away or swat her hand away. Gerard grinned to himself. Mikey was a total Mama’s boy. He’d made a mental note to make fun of Mikey for it later. Although, that’d be totally hypocritical. He was totally a Mama’s boy too. He’d do anything for that woman. She was all he had. Gerard had met tons of people since he'd been at tons of schools and the rich kidsg always raged on you for loving your mama too much. Gerard didn't understand that, his mom was all he had. Maybe that's why the richer kids where the ones saying that nonsense, they had more to lose and a mom didn't matter. Gerard knew that if he had something, he'd sell it for just a year with his mother. Well... that's not entirely true. He had Mikey and he'd never give Mikey up. But as for materialistic things, nothing mattered if he couldn't have her. Some people want everything, he just wanted his mama.

“So. Where are you boys living now? I know it was an hour drive from Trina’s home, I hope that it’s not too far out for you boys to be visiting me”, she asked. Gerard smiled. Even though prison was hard and tiring, the same woman he knew when he was twelve was still there. The kind and considerate yet fierce and sharp woman was still there.

“Don’t feel bad about Trina, she was a bitch”, Mikey scoffed from next to Gerard. Their mother raised her bushy arched eyebrows and swatted Mikey’s head. Mikey just shook his head and tried to fix his hair, which Gerard assumed was supposed to be one of those Kurt Cobain shag cuts but wasn’t quite sure. Gerard was never sure what Mikey was trying to do with his hair. Gerard just kept his dyed and fairly cleaned, that’s all that he needed.

“Don’t say words like that, Micheal. You’re too young”, she scolded. Her brows said she was mad, but Gerard could see from the twinkle in her eyes that she was actually amused. 

“Ugh, _Mom_ , why are you using my real name?”, Mikey whined.

“Why are you using those nasty words? It’s not suitable for your age”. Gerard laughed. He learnt all his cursing from his mother and she knew that. Mikey learnt it all from Gerard, it was like passing down an heirloom. “But how is the drive?”.

“Not bad. Thirty minutes”, Gerard answered. “And I know we’ve only been at Miss Tanya’s for maybe a month, but she seems nice. She’s not like Trina”. Trina was a shrew of a woman.

“That’s good, honey. Real good. If she’s so nice, I’m expecting you boys to _stay out of trouble_. I know that you guys are little trouble makers, but be good please. For me.” 

Gerard knew he wasn’t no trouble maker, neither was Mikey. The trouble always came to them. But he wasn’t going to tell her that. It would just work her up and worry her. Instead, he glanced a look at Mikey and they faced their mother.

“Yes, Ma”.


	9. October 3rd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday 3rd, October 1994

Monday 3rd, 

Gerard should have known from the morning that his day was gonna suck. He stayed up late reading an Alternative Press Magazine and woke up early to the sound of Mikey scrambling around the dinky bedroom. Running off of five-ish hours of sleep, Gerard forced himself off the blanket bed on the ground and made it out to the kitchen. To his horror, he saw Miss Tanya sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in her hand.

“Good morning, Gerard”, she greeted stoutly. 

Gerard nodded “Good morning, Miss Tanya”. Gerard couldn’t quite decide if he liked Miss Tanya or not. She was definitely better than all of the other Foster parents. She didn’t beat the boys for no reason, wasn’t doing it to pick up on a check, and was genuinely an okay person. But that was it, she was just okay. Gerard fiddled around with some coffee before deciding that in his book, okay was amazing.

“So I wanted to talk to you about something, I already spoke to your brother about the matter”, Ms. Tanya started off cooly, like she didn’t know how Gerard was gonna take it. Gerard just nodded, fearing the worst. “I’m thinking it’s about time I start bringing you boys to my church. I’m thinking youse need some Lord in your life.”

Gerard nearly spit out his coffee. Go to church? It had been eleven years since he stepped into a church. That was just crazy. What was he gonna do at church? Pray? For what? He’d tried praying before and it didn’t end up too well. But what was he gonna say? No? He couldn’t tell her ‘no’. Gerard did have some base amount of respect for Miss Tanya. 

“What church do you go to?”, Gerard said instead of the blunt ‘Fuck no’, that he wanted to scream.

Miss Tanya smiled a bright smile. She did have a beautiful smile and was quite pretty for a woman her age. She couldn’t have been more than forty. Her hair was dark and in natural voluminous curls, just like Gerard’s own mother before she bleached it blonde. 

“I go to the Chatolic Church of Mainstreet. Saint Elizabeth's ten am service”, she answered, taking a short sip of her coffee.

This woman hadn’t done anything to him. She wasn’t like the other Foster Parents that were complete shrews. He should at least be a little nice to her, be respectful. She was feeding them and talking to them, he owed her.

“I’ll make sure Mikey and I’ll be up by nine”.

*  
School didn’t suck to badly without Mikey. Gerard still had Ray and Bob. During first period English the two of them worked together to do an in class project on the Diary of Anne Frank, so that was fun. They talked about the horrors that Anne must have gone through and at such a young age. Gerard appreciated that about Ray, they could have in-depth conversations and just talk about anything whether it be literature or prices of can soup. Gerard felt a comfort in Ray, like he had grown up with Ray. 

At lunch, Frank was nowhere to be seen. Bob laughed and made a joke about how they could now talk about adult things that both Frank and Mikey weren’t there. According to Ray, Frank had to scrape gum off the Pre-Calc classroom’s desks. Gerard laughed at the mental image of Frank scraping gum off desks and dug into his industrial grade mash potatoes. Everything at lunch was fine until a boy with dreadlocks and tanned skin approached the table.

Bob was the first to acknowledge the boy that was ever nearing the table. “What’s Wentz doing so close to the ring of fire?”.

Ray scoffed. “Bob, we are _not_ the ring of fire. There’s only three of us, more like the Bermuda Triangle”, Ray elaborated thoughtfully. Bob snorted into his cartoon milk and rolled his eyes.

“All I’m saying is it’s a good thing Frank’s not here ‘cause Wentz is about to make some waves”, Bob pointed out, his eyes glaring at the boy. Gerard gave his two lunch mates confused looks as they continued to gossip with each other, leaving Gerard out the loop.

“A fucking Tsunami”, was all Ray said, giving Gerard no clarification.

The kid neared the table after pacing about for a few seconds and walked straight up. He put his hands on the edge of the table and leaned over, not looking at any one in particular. Ray stared up at the Wentz kid and Bob cracked his knuckles. 

“Frank’s not here”, Bob growled. 

“No shit”, the Wentz kid shot at him. “You know that sandy haired kid, glasses? Mikey? He here?”, Wentz asked. That definitely drew Gerard’s interest. What was this kid doing with Mikey?

“He’s not”, Gerard said curtly. It wasn’t sharp, but if you read into it enough you could definitely hear the edge in Gerard’s voice. He was protective of Mikey. The Wentz kid seemed to get it. He backed down a bit. Or he stopped glaring at Ray and Bob. 

“Where is he?”, Wentz asked, this time or kindly.

“Suspended”.

“What for?”, Wentz asked. 

“Does it matter?”, Gerard snapped. He shot the Wentz kid a dirty look. Why was he so pressed about Mikey? Usually kids who were pressed for information were up to no good and were best treated with coldness. Ray and Bob looked at Wentz and Gerard. Ray’s eyes were big and circular, a bit shocked more than anything while Bob was looking smug and amused.

“You’re right. It doesn't matter. Tell him I said hi”. And with that the mysterious Wentz kid stalked off to a different direction. Gerard glared at him all the way until he sat back down at a table with a bunch of other kids. 

“What the hell was that?”, Ray exclaimed, the first to break the silence.

“It was a wave”, Bob replied, looking at Wentz as well. “I don’t know what he’s playing at, but he’s sinking some ships”.

*  
Gerard cursed a long stream of explicatives. He was late coming out of the school building, again. He was trying to get his English papers from under the cracks of his locker, which took him like fifteen minutes no thanks to anybody. He was about to just give up when he finally saw the tip of white papers emerge. His smile was short lived as he soon realized he missed the bus. Whatever. He started the walk back when he heard a familiar shrill voice.

“Hey Gerard, where’s your brother?”. Gerard turned around to be faced with Frank Iero running up towards him “I haven’t seen him all day”.

“Mikey’s not here. He got suspended”, Gerard answered. 

“Oh, well that works out cause I wanted to talk to you about something”.

“Is that why you’ve been following me? What do you want, Shortstuff?”, Gerard inquired while looking down at Frank. Frank rolled his eyes and playfully punched Gerard’s shoulder. Gerard instinctively slapped Frank back, he wasn’t used to anyone playing punching him other than Mikey. Instead of recoiling or getting upset, Frank just laughed it off.

“Well first of all, we both missed the bus so I have to walk this way anyways”, Frank started. Gerard nodded. “Second of all I noticed that Mikey was hanging out with… not the best crowd”, Frank finished with a frown.

“Really?”, Gerard mused, trying to sound a little surprised even though he totally expected it to happen. If anything he was surprised that Frank cared enough to tell Gerard after they only knew each other for about a month.

“No, Gerard, you should really listen to what I’m saying”, Frank exasperated. “Mikey’s hanging out with Pete Wentz, the king of trouble. He’s like a jock but he’s also kind of a bad boy and a major player. It’s weird. He skips class to smoke weed and gets into fights is just bad news”, Frank warned. “He’s a dick”.

Gerard thought it was actually quite cute how concerned Frank was. But Gerard personally wasn’t too worried. Lord knows the kinds of things he was doing at Mikey’s age. They had been in a really tough home and Gerard had befriended a group of goth kids. He’d sneak out and drink vodka colas and chain smoke cigarettes with them at graveyards, as cliche as that sounds. He got in a lot of trouble at school his freshmen year. Tons of kids picked on him for being weird and gothic, resulting in quite a few fights. Maybe Frank just doesn’t realize that compared to the things that Mikey has been though, Pete Wentz is nothing.

“I’m not that worried. Mikey always hung out with troubled kids, he is a troubled kid. Mikey’s seen a lot of shit. We both had shitty lives”, Gerard admitted a little truthfully. He figures that nobody had really informed Frank about the extent of their rough lives. 

“Really?”, Frank inquired like he didn’t quite believe Gerard. Gerard felt a sudden anger flash though him, the kind you get before you punch somebody. Gerard was always quick to throw a punch. He had to remind himself that he could not and should not punch Frank as he was Mikey’s friend and also kind of Gerard’s friend. Gerard wasn’t used to friends that stuck around. 

“Yeah”, Gerard snipped back. They were still walking but had slowed down significantly and Frank was looking at Gerard. He was wearing a smug like. Gerard knew that Frank didn’t believe him. He probably thought that Gerard was just mad at his parents for not letting him listen to Nirvana or something stupid like that. Little did that little bastard know...

“Look, Mikey smoking a little bit of weed and hanging out with the school’s ‘bad boy’ isn’t really one of my biggest concerns right now. It’s not exactly new behavior for him and he’s always been a little shit when it comes to back talking”, Gerard snarled. He started to get mad at that Frank kid. Who did Frank think he was judging Mikey and scruertizing Gerard’s home life? He had no right to not believe Gerard. What did Frank Iero know? Frank was just petty cause he had a bitch fit with Pete Wentz. “He can hang out with whoever he wants.”

The smug look whipped off of Frank’s face and he seemed to back off a bit. Gerard really wished that he didn’t have to live on the same street as Frank. He really wished that Mikey didn’t befriend Frank. He really wished that he knew where to buy drugs here. He really wished he had his mom back. He really wished a lot of things, but none of those were gonna happen. Instead, Gerard huffed home next to Frank in silence and shrugged when Mikey asked him how his day was. He put on a black hoodie and laced up his black combats. He told Mikey he’d be back by midnight and to tell Miss Tanya he went to a friends house knowing that she didn’t care. He grabbed a can of neon spray paint and left as the sunset.

*

Vandalism made Gerard feel free. He didn’t belong to anybody when he had a can of paint in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He couldn’t see any troubles ahead of him when the only light source were the dimly lit street lamps. He couldn’t feel anything hurting him, no stomach twists or pits in the bottom of his stomach, as the cool night air blew by. He was free.

While the pills and alcohol made Gerard feel nothing, a low buzz and a whole lotta sloppiness, tagging made Gerard feel everything at once. It was like every positive emotion that ever existed raced through his veins when he was spray painting old buildings. It was beautiful. He had no  
fears and no worries.

Gerard had walked around for an hour before finding the perfect spot. A Lot of other buildings were already spray painted over with a bunch of ammeter chicken scratch. Obviously kids up here weren’t too good with their cans. There was only one logo that Gerard thought was really impressive. It was a skull, like the Misfits but it had one eye bleeding and the other with an arrow through it. Signed next to every one of those skulls was the initials F.I. Gerard wondered who the mysterious F.I. was as he continued to search for his own spot.

It was an empty building, it looked to be an office space or something. Gerard hastily checked for cameras before pulling his hood up high and taking his can out of his hoodie pocket. He drew out the can and felt the sweet sensation of his fingers brushing around the head of the can. He squinted and slowly pressed down on the head, smiling at the hissing sound that it made as neon green specks flew.


	10. October 9th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October Sunday 9th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just spent like thirty dollars on cheaply made clothing that will make me look like hoes circa 2007, but it's fine cause I'm just missing childhood shit. Life is so stressful right now, I just want to pretend i'm in 2009 when I wasn't worried about anything except missing the Nickelodeon show times and Hannah Montana. I just... sigh plz enjoy the chapter, sorry about the rant :(

Sunday 9th, 10:30 am, Saint Elizabeth's Church

Gerard decided he hated Mas. It was boring. Even though he was sitting in the pews high of his mind off some of Mikey’s newly founded marijuana stash, Gerard thought the sermon was extremely boring. His mouth was also extremely dry and he wanted water more than anything. Mikey seemed to be faring slightly better. His eyes were red as an apple, though. He forgot to put eyedrops in. Gerard shrugged. If Miss Tanya actually knew the score she would have caught the boys long before this. They were fine.

It was only when communion happened (Gerard actually remembered that from being little) that Gerard’s interest was spiked. From the side of the pews, Gerard thought he saw the greasy mop that belonged to none other than Frank Iero. As the kid moved down the line, Gerard relieved with a jolt that it was in fact Frank. He just couldn’t tell at first since Frank was actually wearing a button down. It made Gerard chuckle.

“Holy shi…”, Mikey caught himself. “Is that Frank?”.

Gerard nodded. “It is. That is Frank Iero”.

Miss Tanya turned to look at the boys. “You know someone here?”, she inquired. Gerard noticed that she had a hint of hope in her voice. Like she was glad that the boys had made it in with the Catholic boys.

“No”, Gerard answered. Church let out and Gerard watched as Mikey made his way over to Frank and tackled him. Miss Tanya gave Gerard a questioning look as Mikey and Frank tangled around across the Church. 

“Gerard, why is your brother so weird?”, Trevor asked from behind his mother. He was looking at Mikey and Frank (who was still trying to attack) with a look of confusion.

“He’s not weird. He’s just…”

“Well I’m glad he’s befriended a fellow Church goer. The agent informed me that he struggled with falling into the wrong crowd at his old schools. Linda Iero is a kind woman, I’m sure her son is just as peachy”, Miss Tanya interjected. Gerard could have laughed. Since when did sweet peaches become moldy and bitter tomatoes? Frank was no peach. 

“Reel Sweet”, Gerard mumbled. “Like Georgia”.


	11. October 19th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey's shopping lifting gets the spotlight and Pete's there with his dreads.In all my highschool and college aus I always imagine Pete Wentz with dreads for some reason, I think he had them throughout most of his teen years, maybe that's why. Oh yeah, he also had bleanched dread tips sometime too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my younger sister who likes to shoplift nail polish from Walmarts all over North Carolina and Virginia :) You go queen, collect all them colors like Pokemon

Wednesday 19th, 4:55pm, Walmart

Mikey never was one to cause a scene. He liked scenes, he liked them alot. But he liked watching them, he never made it unless it was unavoidable. He liked to sit back and watch it all play out. But Mikey also liked kicks, just like the kids did who caused scenes. They got their adrenaline from causing scenes, cursing out teachers, and being shitheads. Mikey got his adrenaline from other things. It was debatable whether or not those other things were better or worse than causing scenes.

With no allowance and no job, Mikey soon learnt the art of shoplifting. It was a fine art and if you did it right it paid off. He’d feel a wave of adrenaline rush through him everytime he got away successfully and he got something he wanted. You got a thrill and a kill. It was perfect. 

He’d been doing it so long, it was like a second nature. He didn’t even realize he was doing it at times. He started when he was eight. The first things he shoplifted was a can of neon green spray paint and a switchblade. He gave the paint to Gerard and kept the knife. Ever since he realized that he could get away with lifting, he increasingly started to do it more and more. It wasn’t a bad habit and it wouldn’t be until the day he got caught. 

“Yo, Pete, which one do you want?”, Mikey called out while looking up and down the candy aisle. Pete was on the other side at the hair sections of the grocery store. 

“Um… maybe just a Hershey bar?”, Pete called back. Mikey snorted at Pete, choice. Nonetheless, he picked up one of the brown bars and slipped it up his sleeve like a professional. He then took a Twix bar and shuddered as the cold wrapper slid up his jacket sleeve. He yawned and stretched out his arms up, feeling the candy bars slip into his torso. He used his hand inside the denim pocket to fiddle the candy around into a pocket and called it a day. This method had worked so many times for him that he was a professional at it.

Pete came around from the other asle with a questioning look and a box of hair bleach. “I’m thinking about bleaching my dreads'', he informed Mikey. Mikey looked down at Pete’s dreads. They were dark, almost black, and they looked disgusting. He wondered how Pete would look with bleached dreads. It’d probably be badass.

“That sounds cool, man”, Mikey said. “You’ll look badass”.

Pete’s face brightened and a huge grin slapped on his face. “You think?”, he asked in a way that totally did not make him sound like a twelve year old valley girl.

“Totally”, Mikey replied, definitely not sounded like a valley girl as well. He felt a grin creep up on his face as well. What was it with this Wentz kid that made him smile so much?

“I’m gonna go pay for it… cause you know, I actually pay for things”, Pete teased with his wolfish smile. “You should come over though, help me bleach these thingies”. He pointed to his dreads that were flopping down on his head.

Mikey knew he shouldn’t go. He only knew Pete for about a month and knew anymore time would be limited. He shouldn’t get attached to Peter like that. He just shouldn’t. Mikey knew that by spring Miss Tanya would kick them out and they’d be in a van driving to their next home. Either that or Mikey would get sent to a boys home, like a real boys home for troubled kids. After Gerard’s numerous fights and Mikey’s explosion, the workers sent them to Miss Tanya as a last resort since Miss Tanya was known for working with ‘troubled kids’. Mikey wasn’t a troubled kid, at least that’s what he thought. He wasn’t bad. The only maybe ‘bad’ things about him was that he was a smart alec and a raging kleptomaniac. But that’s not bad, right? He should _not_ go to this kids house.

“I mean, my mom was a hairstylist, it’s in my genes?”, Mikey squeaked. God, what was this Pete kid doing to him?


	12. October 21st

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October Friday 21nd, Frank Iero's basement.

Friday, 21nd , 4: 28 pm, Frank Iero’s basement

“Okay”, Ray announced with a sort of authority that Gerard didn’t know that he was capable of. Ray was this soft, funny, exuberant dude, but right now he was dead serious and filled with passion. Gerard kind of dug it. It was cool. “Welcome to the first… well not first, but like… the first revised band practise”, Ray finished, shooting a look at Mikey who was fiddling around with his beat up bass that he bought in junior high. Mikey flashed Ray a half smile and Ray beamed back.

“So, Mikey, you already know everybody. I’m lead guitar, Frank’s gonna play Rhythm now, and Bob’s on drums. Frank also screams a shit ton. So we’re kind of just playing covers right now, we’re not the most..”

“We’re not smart enough to write our own songs”, Frank interrupted with a smirk. “Like, we can make the music, but the words are all-”

“Bleh”, Bob finished.

Frank nodded his head as he slung his guitar over his head. “What Bob said”.

“Yeah, so we’re just gonna play some covers, see where you are skill wise and just jam. And Gerard, thank you so much for coming. You didn’t have to, but it means alot”, Ray said, smiling at Gerard. Gerard smiled back from the stack of books he was sitting on in Frank’s basement. It was his frist time in Frank’s house and it was actually very clean, like Miss Tanya clean.

“Yeah, no problem. I mean, if I’m doing the art, I might as well see what the vibe is, you know?”, Gerard asked with a pencil dangling in his right hand and a cigarette in the left hand. Frank didn’t seem pissed about smoking, so Gerard just lit up in the basement. Nobody said anything.

“Totally”, Ray replied, plugging his guitar in the amp. “Anyways, let’s get to it. Mikey, you know some Ramones, right? Everybody knows Ramones. Rockaway beach?”.

Mikey slung the bass over his shoulder. “ ‘Course, Dee Dee’s a classic”.


	13. October 22nd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dying Pete Wentz's hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can relate to feeling out of place in expansive places. I get scared when I go into whole foods because everything is bland and expensive. If you acidently drop a bottle of dressing, it's like eight dollars. One time i went to this really rich girl's house in 2012 and her whole fucking room was filled with 1D posters and 1D cuttouts it was scary and now I don't trust rich people.

Saturday 22nd, 9:30 pm, Pete Wentz’s home

Pete Wentz was well off. That was the first thing Mikey noticed when he walked into the white three story house with a red roof. The home itself had a nicely kept yard and even a swimming pool in the back. Mikey had seen nice yards and swimming pools before, just not in one place. It made him wonder if Pete ever came over to his home, what he would think. He probably wouldn’t think anything, Miss Tanya’s place was a nice suburban home. It wasn’t huge or anything, it was a single level three bedroom home with a basement. Pete wouldn’t think anything of it until Mikey called the women in charge of the home ‘Miss Tanya’ instead of ‘Mom’. That would raise questions. Right now Mikey was kind of enjoying not being an orphan freak and just being a normal kid. He wasn’t eager to tell Pete about his situation quite yet, especially not after seeing his house. 

“So like, I think my mom might kill me so we have to be quite”, Pete said. They were hunched over his bath tub in his room because Pete Wentz had an actually bathroom attached to his room. Mikey had met Pete’s mom and she seemed fairly nice. She had a faint accent, although Mikey couldn’t tell where from. 

“We’ll be quiet as mice”, Mikey responded with the bleach in his hand. He wasn’t quite sure how it worked, but he figures that if he wore the gloves and smeared the dye on his hair, it’d dye. Pete seemed to think that too. He actually trusted Mikey since Mikey said his mother was a hairdresser. Little did he know the extent of that claim.

“Pete, stop fucking moving. If you get the bleach on your skin, it’ll hurt like a bitch”, Mikey commanded as Pete wiggled around. Pete stopped moving but huffed as Mikey continued rubbing the dye in his hair.

“You cuss like a sailor, Mikeyway”, Pete whined. Mikey smiled.

“And you don’t. It’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”, he asked. He felt Pete softed.

“Well like, I’m older so it’s not as bad”, Pete offered. Mikey made sure to tug a little to hard on one of Pete’s dreads and Pete yelped. Mikey grinned to himself and continued smearing the bleach for a few more minutes in silence before Pete interrupted. “So like… it’s getting a little late. You can stay over if you want, my parents won’t mind. My dad’s out on a business trip so my mom is more relaxed about what I do.”

Mikey didn’t even think too much of it. “Yeah sure”, he answered casually. 

Pete queried his head slightly at the ease and quickness that Mikey had answered with. Maybe Pete’s parents were strict about curfews and staying over people’s homes. “Do you need to call your home or something? I don’t wanna worry your-”

“It’s fine”, Mikey interrupted sharply. He lathered up the bleach and tried not to tense up. “I don’t even know the numb… It’s fine”. He didn’t know Miss Tanya’s landline anyways, too many numbers, too many homes, too much to remember. He should probably do that. Anyways, Miss Tanya never really checked in the boy’s room. She wouldn’t know that Mikey was gone since Mikey did have enough common sense to eat dinner with Miss Tanya, Trevor, and Gerard. He wasn’t stupid.

“Um, okay. Well like, after this is all over, wanna watch a movie? I just got the ChainSaw Massacre movie, I’ve never seen it”, Pete blabbered enthusiastically. Mikey smiled, distracted from the woes of his orphaned life. He had mastered the art of copying VHS tapes and Cds well enough to have almost anything. He got the ChainSaw Massacre VHS from one of Gerard’s old goth friends in his first highschool. 

“Never?”, Mikey asked. Pete shook his head, splashing some of the bleach around. “I guess we’ll have to change that then”.


	14. October 24th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October Tuesday 24th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the OC romance has a point. I normmaly don't like writting with O.C.s and stuff, but I like the Maxi Mart idea and don't like writting characters as completley innocent when it comes to relashionships. My solution? Write random O.C's that nobody cares about!

Tuesday, 24th, 6:32 pm, Kmart

Mikey didn’t mean to get upset. He just did. He was hanging out with Frank at the station, playing cards with Auggie and Marcus when Frank’s cute cousin came out from the inside. Mikey noticed that sometimes she worked the register on school nights and most weekends. Her name was Liliana and was Frank’s first cousin, which was a rarity for Frank to know how he’s actually related to somebody. Most of the time when a new relative came around when Mikey was at the Iero Maxi Mart, Frank didn’t know how he was related to them, he just knew they were related. Liliana was pretty, she was cute. Mikey couldn’t deny the way he checks reddened when he managed to uphold small talk with her or when she’d smile at him. She had curly chestnut hair and a button nose. The best thing about her was that her last name wasn’t Iero, it was Russo, so Mikey didn’t even have to associate her with Frank.

“What y’all playing?”, she asked, popping her gum and taking a seat next to Marcus.

“How long has it been since you moved up from South Carolina? I thought you’d be done saying that dumb shit by now”, Marcus said while placing down an eight. They were playing president and things were getting heated. Liliana rolled her eyes and popped her gum again.

“I can say ‘y’all’ if I want to, okay?”, she snipped. She peered over Marcus’s shoulder and scoffed. “You’re gonna lose, you know?”.

Marcus sighed and pushed her off his shoulders. Mikey was so caught up watching their interaction (mostly just Liliana) that he didn’t even notice that it was his turn to place down a card until Frank had started laughing at him. Mikey turned to see Frank’s knowing smirk and felt his checks redden quickly. Frank may or may not have noticed Mikey’s glances at his younger cousin and may or may not have taken to making fun of him this last week in pre-calc. 

“You’re a bit distracted today, Mikeyway”, Frank grinned before looking at the sky and furrowing his eyebrows. “Holly shit, that rhymed”. Mikey grimanced and threw down an eight, completing the set and taking the cards. He wordlessly started the stack back up with a two, hoping that Frank wasn’t about to do what he thinks he’s about to do. 

“I think I know why”, Frank continued. Mikey saw Auggie roll his eyes from the corner of his own. Was it really that obvious. Marcus and Liliana seemed pretty oblivious to it, they were just looking intently at the conversation. Mikey took to kicking Frank under the table. Frank flinched but didn’t seem to move from his position on the conversation matter. 

“I swear to God Frank”, Mikey grumbled. He wasn’t exactly getting mad at Frank, he was just on edge. He didn’t need to be outed in front of Liliana and Frank’s older cousins. Frank didn’t seem to faze at all and smiled wider. 

“I’m mean come on. It’s not like it’s a fucking secrete. You blush like a tomato!”, Frank exclaimed. 

“Frank, c’mon man, don’t be a dick”, Auggie hissed. Frank ignored that too.

“I mean, Liliana, you're like what? Thirteen, fourteen? You’re always bitching about--”

“Frank stop”, Liliana exasperated. Her eyes widened like plates and she gained a look of authority that Mikey didn’t see her carry normally. 

“ Not having a boyfriend. You’re a freshman. I know another freshmen that wouldn’t mind filling out that role”, Frank continued like nobody was trying to stop him. He had the poise that told Mikey that Frank thought he was doing a favor. “So why don’t we all just stop pretending and--”

“I have to go”, Mikey hastily interrupted, standing up from the table. He felt a sense of panic he normally bottled down. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He couldn’t. He couldn’t handle it. Not right now. Not tomorrow. Not ever. He was fourteen, he wasn’t a girl expert. He had kissed one girl in eight grade when his friends were playing truth or dare, but that was it. He wasn’t like Gerard, who had girlfriends before and knew about all that girl stuff. He never really had a crush on anybody before, so it was all new. He couldn’t handle it. 

He walked away from the station before bolting in a dead run to the nearest store. He knew there was a Kmart around somewhere and that’s how he ended up in the Kmart at 6:32pm, looking up and down the aisles for something to lift. He saw a Nirvana CD looking really shiny in the CD section. He already owned Nevermind, he also owned In Utero. It didn’t matter. He could always give the copy away to somebody. Maybe as a birthday gift or whatever. Mikey hastily swiped it from the display and tucked it under his belt, firmly pressed against his skin and slipped his shirt over his jeans band. He decided to buy an orange to avoid suspicion and decided to walk back before Miss Tanya threw a bitch fit.


	15. October 25th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday, 25th, 2:14pm, bacl school wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i slowy turning all the characters into stoners... maybe?

Wednesday, 25th, 2:14 pm, back school wall

Mikey was feeling a bit shaky today, with the whole Frank and Liliana thing. So when Pete told him to meet him at the back wall at eighth period to smoke up, Mikey had no qualms about it. Mikey didn’t really feel bad about smoking all of Pete’s stuff, mostly because Pete got his for free since he was Joe’s friend and because Mikey gave Pete tons of junk food that they both did not need. It was a good relationship. Pete supplied the drugs, Mikey supplied stolen chips, and the pair hung out in semi-secrecy in fear that Frank would flip a lid and that Pete’s jock friends would think Pete’s weird. Mikey doesn’t know how Pete’s jock friends don’t already think he’s weird, but Mikey doesn’t ask any questions.

“So, what’s bothering you. I can tell there’s something on your mind”, Pete asked as he rolled. Mikey watched silently, sitting against the wall. 

“Nothing, just, Frank’s like…”, Mikey trailed off. He didn’t want to bad mouth Frank infront of Pete since Pete would just take it as another reason to hate Frank. Mikey didn’t really know why Pete and Frank hated each other, and neither of them said. 

“You know you can talk about him in my prescience, I’m not gonna like freak out cause you and Frank are friends. I’m not a dick”, Pete chuckled while lighting up. He passed the joint to Mikey, who inhaled sharply and quickly wondered if hanging out with both Pete and Frank was turning him into a stoner before pushing the thought out and exhaling.

“Okay, so, Frank has the cousin-”

“Oh”, Pete laughed. He took the joint back and nodded. “I see where this is going”.

“Yeah, so his cousin, Liliana, who works the register… I think I’ve been crushing on her. And Frank, he’s smarter than he lets on. So like… We were playing cards and smoking when she comes out of the store to hang out with us since business was slow. Frank, he like starts to do this thing were he’s dropping hints about me liking the girl-”

“Typical Iero, always being a dick”, Pete cursed. Mikey stiffened and noticed Pete’s new hardened stance. Mikey could tell that Pete’s harsh tone wasn’t just dedicated to Frank and his stunt with Mikey, it was much more deep than that. Maybe talking about Frank in front of Pete was a bad idea…

“What even happened with you and Frank?”, Mikey asked, taking the joint back and trying to find the right words to convey what was going on in his brain. He felt faded, which he normally did when he smoked up. His brian was a cloud. “You don't have to say… but I mean”.

“Nah, don’t worry about it.”. Pete sighed and closed his eyes. “I know something that Frank doesn’t want to be known. That’s all. He knows I know and it wigs him out”, Pete said while waving his hand around in the air wildily.

Mikey could have laughed. Did Pete really think that cleared _anything_ up? “Very fucking descriptive”. Pete chuckled and shoved Mikey playfully. 

“No, man. I can’t say anything more than that. I’m good with my words when high. Get me on some Vodka and that might be a little different”, Pete smiled. He paused for a minute before saying, “I don’t actually know how old you are. Are you a freshman?”. Mikey nodded slowly. “Damn, have you ever been to a high school party?”. Mikey shook his head again. He didn’t feel embarrassed like most teenagers would. He didn’t care. 

“Dude, that’s gonna change. One day I’ll bring you to one of my jock type parties”, Pete gazed with a goofy grin. Mikey chuckled. He knew Pete was just high. They could never actually go somewhere together.

“Sure.”

“Dude, I fucking will”, Pete said. “I think you should talk to Iero, though. He doesn’t mean the things he does, mostly”, Pete continued with a frown. Mikey leaned forward and looked at Pete. He looked moody, like he was thinking long and hard about something. 

“Sure”, was all MIkey said. Later on that day on the bus ride home, Mikey found Frank and Frank had apologized. After the apology they talked about the logistics of Batman and Joker charades and Frank told Mikey that he should stop by the Maxi Mart on the weekend with a sly grin.


	16. October 27th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thursday, 27th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while extremley mad at my (lack of) father so I hope it hits all the feels 
> 
> also I've been waiting so long to post this and I'm happy that it finallly gets the spotlight

Thursday, 27th, 4:11 pm, Miss Tanya’s Kitchen

“There’s a phone call for you”.

Gerard furrowed his caterpillar brows and tilted his head. Who would wanna call him? The only person who might wanna talk to Gerard other than his mother was Otter, but Gerard knew that Otter wasn’t allowed to use the landline because he got in trouble for long distance calls all the time. Gerard was a bit hesitant to take the phone from Miss Tanya, but he figured he had nothing better to do.

“Hello”, he asked.

“Hi… um… is this Gerard or Micheal?”, the static voice from the other side asked. Gerard immediately recognised the voice. Even after all these years he still remembered that voice. Gerard felt his grip around the phone tighten as he spoke.

“He goes by Mikey now”, Gerard seethed. He saw Miss Tanya lingering in the kitchen, listening to it. He knew that Miss Tanya had grown some sort of fondness for Gerard. He helped her out sometimes in the kitchen and was polite. They had even started watching Operas together (Gerard really admired the voices). He didn’t want to screw up the balance and the ‘there’s a good kid under the rough exterior’ front that Miss Tanya had put on him, but he was not going to hold back. No, he’d been waiting for this.

“Oh? So I’m assuming this is Gerard”, the voice said. 

“You assumed right. What do you want?”.

“I just wanted to check in, see how you guys are doing”, the voice purred. Gerard was tempted to hang up the phone right there and then. He’d go get Mikey and they’d go out and do something stupid. If Gerard had a car, they’d definitely crash it now.

“Ask away”, Gerard said. “Bite”.

“Umm.. how are you?”.

“Great. Fucking. Fantastic”. Gerard saw Miss Tanya flinch. She didn’t really approve of cursing.

“That’s good? How’s Mikey”.

“He’s great. He just got suspended from school and is hanging out with drug dealers. He really is thriving”. Miss Tanya raised her ears but headed out the room. She was either going to talk to Mikey or going to her room to hide herself from the conversation. Good. Gerard wanted to go off. 

“I um… That’s not good. Um… We’re talking about the same Micheal, right? The little sweet-”

“Shut the fuck up. He’s not the same. God. Are you stupid or something?”. Gerard paused, waiting for an answer. When he didn’t get any, he continued. “And he goes by Mikey now. Nobody calls him Mikey except the social workers. If you want an honest answer about us, I’ll tell you.” He took a deep breath.

“Go ahead, Gerard”, the voice nervously said. 

“I’m fucked up. It’s fucking your fault. I get dreams at night of when Mom kicked you out, screaming and throwing a beer bottle at your head. The same beer bottle that you drank instead of being a father. The same beer bottle that I know drink”. Gerard whipped the tears that were falling down. The bitterness that he swallowed for years was all coming out. 

“Gerard. You were so-”

“I’m shit. Those aren’t the only dreams I get. Sometimes I get nightmares where I’m sucking somebody off for Xanax. Those dreams are the worst. I can feel it in my throat. The only thing I have going is my GPA, it’s a 3.5 which means I could get into a good college if I wanted too. The only issue is that I can’t go to college even if I wanted to because I’m not letting Mikey be in the system without me. And Mikey… yeah, he’s just fucking peachy too. He’s doing _great_ ”

“Really?”.

“Yeah”, Gerard spat. Was it really that hard for him to realize that they weren’t those innocent children anymore? “So yeah, we’ve been just fucking fantastic with out you.”

“Can I talk to Mikey?”, the voice asked. Gerard’s face twisted. He didn’t know if he should smile because he was right or if he should cry for the same reason. His father hadn’t changed. He was still a coward and didn’t want to talk to Gerard now that Gerard wasn’t giving him the answers he wanted. 

“Mikey!”, Gerard yelled. He was tempted to say no, you can’t fucking talk to Mikey. But Gerard didn’t want to make that choice for Mikey. Much to Gerard’s horror, Mikey slid out from behind the couch, letting Gerard know that Mikey had heard the whole conversation.

“Yeah?”, he asked a bit shkily.

“Wanna talk?”, Gerard said, offering the phone. Mikey nodded and nervously took the phone. It only occurred to Gerard that Mikey hadn’t talked to their father since he was five or six. He might not even remember him. Gerard watched the conversation. If Mikey heard his conversation, Gerard could watch this. He couldn’t hear the other end of the phone, but that was okay. He knew exactly what was going on.

“No”. Mikey paused. “I guess I don’t hate you. How can I hate you when I hardly even remember you? You are a stranger to me. I don’t hate strangers.” Gerard wondered how Mikey could be so calm and mellow. If Gerard was in his place, he’d be yelling.

“Yeah. They didn’t charge me or anything, they just wanted to scare me… Look, why do you even care? You’ve done ten excellent years of being a shit father, why not continue the streak? No, I don’t want to see you. Gerard do you want to see him?”, Mikey shot a look at Gerard. 

“Only if he wants his ass kicked”, Gerard replied. Mikey nodded. 

“Look, if you wanna come up here and meet with us, we’re down for it. We’re just gonna beat the shit out of you, steal your wallet, and slash your car tires. Don’t think we won’t do it, we can be batshit crazy when needed. We might be a little nicer if you wanna entice us with beer or liquor, though. As a welcoming gift. Still gonna slash your tires tough”, Mikey deadpanned. Damn, it was impressive. Gerard wished he could have that deadpanning ability. He’d sound ten times cooler.

With a sigh, Mikey hung up the phone. “He wants to meet with us for Christmas. I’m serious about beating him up and taking his money. We can take him if we wanted to, unless he gained a bunch of weight. Best case scenario, we take his money, and slash his tires. Worst case scenario, he gets his tires slashed and we don’t get any money”.

Gerard nodded. He felt strangely nauseous. “Yeah, sound nice Mikes. I’m gonna go on a walk”.

*  
Gerard decided to walk around town aimlessly. He used to go on walks when he was younger to blow off steam. Before the alcohol, weed, or Xannies, Gerard just walked around. He sure got into some tough situations when he was living in crappy areas, but walking was his first vice other than tagging. Gerard kind of wished that he had some pills right now, or at least a joint. A joint would be nice, maybe he could see if Mikey had any latter. Then again, Gerard didn’t really want to keep on bumming stuff from his younger brother, who was becoming a little stoner more and more as the days went on. 

Gerard kept on walking until he spotted a dinky convenience store. If he couldn’t get his hands on any illicit substances, maybe he could buy some cigarettes. He’d been buying them from the station around school, but maybe this store wouldn’t card. Maybe after that he’d go down to the liquor store and ask strangers to get him the most alcoholic drink $20 could buy. 

Gerard edged towards the store and noticed that a garage was attached to it, they were probably a joint company. Like how some gas stations have car garages. Hmm… Gerard looked at the sign, “Iero Corner Market”. Wasn’t that Frank’s last name. This must be the place that Mikey had been spending all his time at. It was kind of annoying, Mikey always hanging out with Frank. Mainly because Frank was annoying, that’s the only thing that bothered Gerard. Gerard always hated Mikey’s friends. 

Gerard’s suspicions of the place were confirmed when he saw Frank leaned up against the side wall, smoking a cigarette. Gerard went into the store and bought a pack of cigarettes before hunting Frank down. Luckily, Frank was still by the wall, so Gerard didn’t have to look hard.

“Hey”, was all Gerard said before lighting up his own cigarette. Frank gave Gerard a weird look before responding.

“Hey”.

“You smoke weed, right?”, Gerard quizzed Frank. He knew the answer, off course he knew the answer.

Frank looked up at him , shocked. “How did you know?”, he gasped like it was a secret. Gerard actually laughed, he laughed like a maniac. Frank seemed to understand and Gerard swore he heard a sharp giggle from Frank.

“Dude, it smells like you bathe yourself in that shit”, Gerard respondes, clutching his stomach from laughing. Frank offered him a sheepish smile and a shrug. “Anyway, who’s your dealer? I don’t know anyone here that sells”.

Frank gave Gerard an incredulous look. “You smoke weed? I’m sorry but I don’t believe it”, Frank scoffed. He folded his arms and gaved Gerard that look that Gerard hated with all his heart, that I dare you to look. Frank was daring Gerard to say something, to elaborate.

“Why?”, wass Gerard gave Frank. He actually genuinely wanted to know why.

Frank shrugge and kicked at a pebble. He leaned back against the wall and inhaled on his cigarette. “Well, you certainly _look_ like you smoke pot, but you have that sort of bitchiness that all the kids in Students Against Drunk Driving have”, Frank let out a stream of smoke through his nose. It only reminds Gerard of how much he’d like to punch Frank. 

“Fuck off, just tell me who you buy from”, Gerard huffed. He wasn’t a bitch. That wasn’t him.

“I used to buy from Joe Trohman, but he’s friends with Pete Wentz so I don’t anymore. He’s stuff’s pretty good, if you can actually find him. He always disappears when you need him”, Frank answered.

“Think you might know where he is right now?”, Gerard asked. He hoped that Frank might now. He sort of really needed to numb his brain right now and weed was looking like the most reasonable and least dangerous option.

“Sorry. I don’t have a fucking clue”, Frank answered, slouching. He paused for a minute, looking out into the distance. “I could sell you some of my shit, though.”

“Really?”, Gerard asked. He didn’t really trust Frank at the moment. He also didn’t really like Frank either. This was the same Frank that was loud, obnoxious, and always stealing his little brother away from him. Gerard didn’t want any favors from Frank.

“Sure”, Frank answered simply. “You seem like you could use some”. He flung his ash at Gerard’s feet before chuckling a little. Gerard narrowed his eyes and glared at Frank’s cigarette hand. If it weren’t for the weed…

“I just gotta head back to my place, get it from my stash”, Frank said. Without another word Frank put out his cigarette and started walking down the road that Gerard had just walked down. Gerard waited for Frank to take the lead by a good few feet before following at his heels. Gerard did not want to talk to Frank right now. He wanted to buy a joint, smoke it, go back to Miss Tanya’s, and sleep. That was all he intended to do. 

Gerard felt his stomach drop as Frank turned back his head, his nasty oily black hair swaying in the wind.  
“So… did Mikey like not have any pot or-”

“Mikey’s not a fucking stoner, Frank. It’s not like he just sleeps on that shit”, Gerard interrupted a bit more aggressively than he needed too. He didn’t mean to come off so mean, he just wasn’t in the mood.

“Okay, Okay”, Frank eased. The rest of the five minute walk was relatively silent. Gerard waited outside as Frank entered his home in search of his Mary Jane. Gerard found himself wondering what was actually inside the Iero household. He saw the front garden with all the bright orange flowers and the white framed door that looked like it was one slam away from falling of it’s hinges. It made Gerard wonder what Frank was like behind closed doors.

“Got it”, Frank said, creeping up on Gerard. Gerard jumped, being thrown out from his thoughts. “And I’ll make you a deal. If you talk to me, I’ll give you it for free”, Frank finished with a smirk. Gerard felt his fists curl up. He was never one to start fights but boy could he go for slamming his fist into Frank’s face. At the same time, he only had fifteen bucks after the cigarettes.

“Fine. But where are we gonna go?”, Gerard asked. Much to his displeasure, Frank merely smiled.

“I know a place…”

It turned out that Franks ‘place’ was a large little league baseball field. It was pretty secluded and had a small brick wall that Frank had hoped against as soon as the goods were there. Gerard was a bit weary of it. They were in broad daylight and there were definitely chances of people catching them. 

“So why were you hellbent on getting some pot anyways? You seemed pretty… eager, like you need to blow off steam”, Frank asked. He was swaying his legs against the redbricks, tapping his foot against the skeleton’s arrow eye underneath. Gerard shrugged and took a drag, letting the smoke fill his lungs and sothe his nerves.

“I got a call from my dad”, Gerard said simply. He must have given up because he didn’t even care that Frank was his kid brother’s annoying friend. Someone to talk to was someone to talk to. Plus, with the way Frank’s eyes went wide, Gerarad had some suspicions that he was about to see a new side of Frank that he didn’t usually have.

“Oh?”, Frank replied, arching his eyebrows and quaking his head like a puppy dog. “Is that a good or bad thing?”.

Gerard sighed. He looked down at his joint and passed it to Frank. If he was gonna share his life story, they might as well both me stoned. Gerard quickly wondered if Mikey told Frank anything about their situation but shot the thought out of his head. Neither Gerard nor Mikey were quick to talk about their life stories. The only person Gerard had told so far was Ray, and that was different since Ray was special.

“I don’t know. I hadn’t talked to him in like ten years, though. It was… weird”, Gerard spoke into the field. He wasn’t looking at Frank. He just stared out into the grassy field.

“I get it man”, Frank answered honestly. He took a scoot closer to Gerard and Gerard found that he didn’t really mind it. “My mom and dad split too.”

“Really?”, Gerard asked. He didn’t say it cockily or like he was challenging Frank to say something else. He just said it like a genuine question.

“Yep. I get the whole estranged parent thing… sort of. I talk to my dad, but he’s not much of a father figure”, Frank aired. “Like, he’s good to me. He just doesn’t carry that fatherly responsibility, if that makes sense”.

Gerard nodded. It did make sense. It was like how all these ‘Foster Parents’ were supposed to be parents, but they really weren’t. “It makes sense, Frank.” Gerard took the joint back and took a hit. It wasn’t as good as a Xannie but it was good enough. Gerard knew that he needed to cut all those pills out, they weren’t gonna do him good. “It makes perfect sense”.

Frank gave Gerard a small smile and Gerard felt a smile creep up on him too. For the first time since meeting Frank, he wasn’t being a complete obnoxious kid. Gerard could get used to this Frank. 

“My dad, my _father_ , I haven’t seen him since I was like… seven? My mom kicked him out. Too much boozing”, Gerar hummed. The sun was setting and it was quite pretty. It was like swirls of warm colors all mixing together but in their own lanes. It was beautiful.

“Your mom ever tried to get you to talk to him? Or was she keeping you guys away from him?”, Frank asked. It was kind of a stupid question, but Gerard didn’t mind. Maybe Frank’s mom was hiding Frank from his dad. Or maybe Frank just liked asking stupid questions.

“My mom’s in jail, Frank”, Gerard blurted. “Been there for a while. She gets out soon. That’ll be nice. I hope she gets out before Mikey graduates. I know she won’t be at my graduation, but hopefully she’ll be at Mikey’s”, Gerard added with a sad smile. Gerard didn’t like to think about how he was gonna age out of the system. He over thought a lot of things, but aging out was one thing he didn’t think about. He’d have to get a job and find a place to live by April. The months slowly crept up towards him and he just couldn’t handle to think about it. It was too much.

“Shit man, I’m sorry. Mikey never told me. God, I was a dick a few weeks ago”, Frank paused for a second. “For whatever it’s worth, I’ll come to your graduation, Gerard. I’ll cheer extra loud, too”, Frank offered.

Gerard felt his lip slant and a gleam in his eye. “Thanks Frank.” Frank wouldn’t compare to his mother, but it was better than nothing.


	17. October 28th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday 28th, 3:48 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, i made an opsie on the other chapter. It was a thursday, this is friday. Also, imma be gone for a while cause i got long ass nails so imma post a lot tonight to make up for it.

Friday, 28th, 3:48 pm 

“Is Frank here?”, Mikey asked. He was at the Maxi Mart, which was surprising because he was pretty sure that he swore he’d never enter the Maxi Mart premise after the Liliana incident. Marcus was working the garage today, Augie was nowhere in sight, which was odd since Augie was always here. Marcus peaked his head out from the car he was working on. 

“You’re not here to try and kick his ass, right? Cause I know you tower over the kid, but he’s a scrappy mother fucker”, Marcus aired. Mikey thinks he likes Marcus the best out of all of Frank’s cousins. He’s dry and sarcastic, similar to Mikey himself. 

“No, me and Frank are good”, Mikey replied, kicking the dirt with his beat up converse. “I talked to him or whatever at school. Mikey waved his arm in the air for good measure, just to show how over it he was. Marcus just raised one bushy eyebrow, a trick that Mikey has seen Frank do many times before and shrugged. 

“He’s not here. His mom got off early from work and stopped by to talk when she saw him smoking with Auggie. Damn near kicked his ass right in front of us, but she had enough decency to drag him home before the whipping started”, Marcus recalled, putting a wrench back on the work table. “Anyways, he’s grounded and his mom told my mom to keep an eye on him while she’s at work. So no Frank.”

“Shoot, that’s a bummer. I bought two tickets to see Horror Fest. Think he’d sneak out?”, Mikey asked hopefully. He was currently digging a deep hole with his converse in the dusty soil. 

“Nah, Linda’s scary. He wouldn’t risk that” Marcus paused for a minute and looked towards the direction of the indoor market. “Although, I know somebody who might be interested in the Horror Fest. Liliana, she’s a big horror fan. Major. I think you might wanna ask her to go with you”, Marcus suggested with a mischievous smirk on his lips. 

Mikey didn’t think he was quite ready to talk about anything Liliana. He grimaced and shuddered. It was too soon. He made a huge fool of himself and he wasn’t ready to get rejected. Even if she did accept, he’d get all weird and tongue twisted. Then he’d make a fool of himself. If he didn’t make a fool of himself and they actually hit it off, then he’d get close to her and then he’d have to move and then he’d have to explain his home situation and it’d all be terrible. 

“She likes you, Mikey. I know this. She gets all red and pink and she grips her hair like her life depends on it. I know her. You seem like an alright guy, please ask her out so we don’t have to hear her talk about the woes of not having a boyfriend”, Marcus encouraged. Mikey knew it was a trap and he knew it was a handout. His logic told him not to do it, but he figured he’d have to do it anyways, If it wasn’t her it’d be somebody else. 

“Alright, I’m gonna ask her”, Mikey said more to himself than to Marcus. Marcus just smiled and nodded.

“Just remember, she doesn’t have any brothers, so I’ll have to kick your ass if you break her heart”, Marcus warned in a low voice. Mikey threw his arms up in the air like he was being arrested. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it”, he replied, heart racing with anticipation. This was really happening. Wow. Mikey hoped up the stairs of the garage into the vending area of the garage and saw Liliana at the counter. Liliana was perched up with her one hand and her other was on the ginormous book of what Mikey assumed was a textbook. 

“Hey”, he started. 

Liliana looked up and her cheeks reddened slightly. “Hi”.

All of a sudden, Mikey felt a panic in his chest. He didn’t know how to do this or what was supposed to happen. He was fourteen. He should have asked Gerard. Gerard would have known what to do. He would have given Mikey a pep talk and cheered for him if she accepted and bought a tub of ice cream if she declined. Gerard would know.

“Um… I was wondering if you might wanna go to this Horror Fest thing with me this weekend. I mean you don’t have to, it’s just…”

“No, no”, Liliana piped waving her arms in the air dramatically. Now that Marcus pointed it out, Liliana was blushing furiously. She was beat red. “I’d love to go. I’ll meet you there”.

Mikey felt the building weight growing in his stomach tumble down and the knots untangle. He almost felt a smile twist up on his mouth. It was odd. “Yeah. Six O’clock”, Mikey gleamed. He was so happy, he almost forgot to give her the ticket. “Oh here”, he said, handing her the shiny ticket. Liliana took the ticket and smiled.

“See you there”


	18. Better Than Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 2nd, 1:48 pm, Prison

November 2nd, 1:48 pm

“Well don’t you boys just look charming!”, she cheered as she embraced both boys. Gerard inhaled sharply at the tight embrace and was hit with the warm smell of his mother. It was crazy how she still smelled the same, even without all the perfume and cigarette stench. If Gerard closed his eyes, he’d still be twelve, sneaking sips of his mother’s coffee and asking to go visit his grandmother. Gerard made sure his eyes were wide open as he leaned out the hug.

“Miss Tanya has been making us go to Church”, Gerard explained while they settled into the circular visitation circles. There was another family at the other end of the room and few officers, but other than that it was fairly quiet and calm.

“You boys certainly could use some Church in your lives”, his mom smiled jokingly. Gerard noticed that her crazy frizzy hair was deflating ever so slightly and graying at the top. You wouldn’t really be able to tell that there were grays, but her hair was a deep chestnut, making the grays stick out like a sore thumb. Gerard didn’t like how it made his stomach churn. “How’s the new home going?”.

Gerard sighed. “It’s actually pretty okay. Miss Tanya’s nice. She doesn’t like… hit us for no reason or starve us or anything”.

She smiled real bright. Gerard felt a punch to his stomach as her teeth spread. He knew he wouldn’t see that smile for another month after this. He should be used to it, he really should. It had been what? Five years. He should be over this. “That’s wonderful, darling. I get so worked up thinking about where those workers are gonna put you. It keeps me up all night. I hate seeing you kids so skinny. I’m glad she’s feeding you all. Both of you, Mikey especially, need some fattening up. Now tell me, how is school going? You boys better be staying outta trouble”, she warned.

Gerard saw Mikey smile a bit from the corner of his eye. Gerard swears that the only person that can make Mikey smile no matter what is his mother. Then again, the same can be said for himself. Nobody can get him smiling like his mom. 

“Mikey got a girlfriend”, Gerard chirped. He felt Mikey’s swift kick to his ankle but he just smiled through the pain. Mikey had drank all the coffee before Gerard could get seconds. He was going down.

His mother’s eyebrows raised to the roof and she eyed Mikey up and down. Gerard only felt a little bad when Mikey went redder than a tomato and huddled inwards. “A girlfriend?”, she repeated except in Mikey’s direction. Gerard didn’t know if she was being stern or just curious.

“She’s not… we just saw a movie together”, Mikey shrugged. 

“That’s not true”, Gerard interrupted. “They’ve been hanging out the last todays nonstop and-”

“Look boys,” their mother sighed. She looked a lot older than she actually was. “If you’re gonna get involved with girls-- I have to talk to you about somethings”. Mikey and Gerard made eye contact, eyes buggy. 

“Oh my god, ma! We have sex ed at school, you know?”, Gerard exclaimed. Damnit. This was his karma for trying to be a jerk to Mikey. 

“Fine. But the next time you visit me, I better not hear anything about either of you impregnating some girl. I’ll skin both of your hides, you hear that”, she warned, pointing a sharp finger at the to boys. Gerard gulped and nodded. No impregnating any girls. “Anyways, how has your school been? Are you being good?”.

“I’ve been doing good”, Mikey said wolfishly. Gerard scoffed and rolled his eyes. Good his ass. 

“Mikey’s been getting in trouble”, Gerard whined. “Me, on the other hand, I’ve been doing great. I haven’t fought anybody since last school year”, Gerard beamed. Annoying Mikey was a part of the older sibling contract. Mikey kicked him under the table and Gerard yelped. His mother didn’t seem so amused. She just gave them a ‘you-sure?’ look.

“Mm hmm”, she cooed. “If I know any of my sons, I’m thinking that both of you have been knuckleheads. Just don’t be going around getting yourself into too much trouble, I’m not out there to rip you a new one when you boys get in trouble”. She leaned in towards the table and arched her eyebrows. Gerard remembers her doing that tons when he’d get in trouble for drawing in class and getting detention. She’d raise her eyebrows and narrow her eyes before saying something serious.

“Speaking of witch”, she murmured. “I’ve been on really good behavior, you know that I’m not a rowdy woman at all. I’m well mannered”, she dusted off her prison slacks and Gerard wondered how ‘well mannered’ she exactly was. He wasn’t too sure, but he had his suspicions that she wasn’t the most ‘well mannered’ in her youth. “Anywho, I should be able to get a parole plea by next year. That’ll be exciting! I might be able to see you boys outside these gates in just a few short twelve months.”

Gerard felt his eyes burn. Twelve months. Twelve wasn’t a very high number. It was the age that Gerard had gotten his mother taken away from him. But it wasn’t a big number. But it seemed like a long time. Twelve months.

“Yeah, Ma. It’ll be real soon”.


	19. Over My Head (Cable Cars)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Church, Sunday, November 6th

Sunday 6th, 10:16 am, Church

Gerard was sitting hunched over the church pews, trying with all his might to stay awake during the sermon. He had spent the night before at Ray’s, playing Atari and wondering how he was going to afford more cigarettes. He’d smoked his last pack the day before he went to visit his mother and had been absolutely broke ever since. Usually he has some sorts of cash on him. He had his gigs; lawn mower, babysitter, dog walker. But it was hard for him to find a ‘teenagery’ job here. Everyone had somebody professional to do their lawns and nobody owned dogs. Gerard didn’t even put babysitting on the list anymore, he hadn’t had a babysitting gig since he was fourteen and he doubts anyone would trust their kids with his slimy depressed mantra anymore.

Gerard almost lost the battle with his drowsiness and felt a sharp jab to his side that was most likely from his brother and not Miss Tanya, who was starring admittedly and the priest. Gerard fluttered his eyes opened and sighed. He was sleep deprived, cigarette deprived, and in a pissy mood. He’d have to stop around town and find a job. He knew this day would come, the day when he’d have to actually find a way to make income and save up. If he really did want to move into an apartment, fight for Mikey’s custody, and maybe even go to college part time, he’d have to get it together. The first step to getting it together is getting a job. 

Gerard dug deep into the back of his mind for jobs. Jobs Jobs Jobs. What job could he do? He thought about it for a few seconds before relizing how stupid he was being. He didn’t get to choose his job. He had to take any job that was available. He decided he’d go walk around all the shopping malls and shopping centers and apply to any job that he can. Yeah, that’d work. He’d be bound to get a job. Once he had a job, he could save up enough to get an apartment once he turned eighteen and to pay for the legal guardianship of Mikey. He had to get his life together.

It was with panic that he stood up to receive communion or whatever. Gerard doesn’t actually get the communion wafers, he was never confirmed as a child. That was fine by him. He just stood up, did a lap around the church, and returned to his seat. He worried as he walked that he wouldn’t get out. The time was ticking. He had six months to get a job and save up enough to get his own place, if not he’d be on the streets. He had to keep up in school. He had to graduate. He had to be able to work and pay rent once he was eighteen. He’d have to talk to the social workers and go through courts to get Mikey’s custody. 

Then the doubts started kicking in. What if he couldn’t get Mikey’s custody. What if he couldn’t get a lease on an apartment. What if nobody would hire him? What if? What if? What if?

Gerard sat back down on his spot in the pew. He took a deep breath and sighed. He needed a break. He needed to feel free. He needed to paint.

*

When Miss Tanya dropped the boys off at the house and decided that she wanted to do some grocery shopping with Trevor, Gerard took the opportunity to pack up his black duffle bag. He went around in the room that he and Mikey shared and picked up the neon green spray paint from deep within his dresser. He threw in a few water bottles and a flashlight just in case. He knew he had to choose an area with little sunlight since it was daylight. That ment he’d be tagging a bridge or tunnel and would need a flashlight.

With a curt ‘I’m heading out’ directed towards Mikey (who was engrossed with watching Rugrats, what a child) and a slamming of the front door, Gerard was off on his feet towards the crowded parts of town. He found a stray bridge where many cars flew past in the rush hours of the morning and afternoon, but had hardly any participants in the day. The walls inside were clean, the only thing that stained the wall was the odd skull and arrow tag that Gerard kept on seeing. Gerard swears that it’s following him. He sees it everywhere! Without much of a second thought, Gerard pulled out the can of neon paint. He sighed and silently hoped that no one would drive one the bridge and see him. He wrapped his fingers around the top of the can and a slow smile crept on his lips as the hiss of the can got louder and the neon green spread in the area.


	20. Bad Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 8th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise there'll be some ferrard coming up soon. right now i'm trying to build their friendship

Tuesday 8th, 11:59 pm High School Cafeteria

To say Gerard was bummed out was an understatement. He had spent all Monday afternoon applying for jobs that he knew he was not qualified for. Who knew that being a Dish Washer and a Dinner needed prerequisites. Gerard hoped that they’d call back and that he’d be around to answer the phone. He didn’t need Trevor and his musty voice to pick up the phone. Trevor would probably mess everything up since he was a jackass. 

He was really worried about the job predicament. He knew he was probably overreacting. He applied to twenty seven jobs, he was bound to get something. Everything had just seemed so overwhelming. It’d be different if he didn’t _need_ the job. But he needed it. He was so nervous about the jobs. If he didn’t get a job, he’d be screwed. He was nervous about it all, expecting the calls saying he’d be hired or not. 

He couldn’t even eat. He knew he was being over dramatic. He knew. But still, his stomach was so queasy as he expected the calls (they said wait two days and it was the second day), that he just couldn’t eat. It’s not like the sloppy joe in front of him looked all that appealing anyways. 

Nobody seemed to notice his irregular eating pattern. Mikey was nowhere to be seen this lunch period and Ray and Bob were heavy in a conversation about Scooby Doo. Frank was throwing in his opinion every now and then and mashing his french fries up into a giant ball of potato. Gerard sighed and decided to throw away his lunch. He wasn’t going to eat it and nobody else would want it either. Nobody sane, anyways.

After the lunch period, Gerard decided to take a little ‘break’ for himself. He snuck out the back doors of the school and slid to the back walls of the school. This is where he had taken to smoking lately. The back wall didn’t face any parking lots or classrooms, so no teachers could slip him a detention. He had just lit up and began to inhale when he heard Frank’s shrill voice.

“You look like you are having a bad day”, Frank noted as he slithered next to Gerard against the wall. Gerard scoffed and raised his eyebrows as if to say ‘oh really?’. Frank gave Gerard an awkward half smile. Frank right now was okay in Gerard’s books. After that little heart to heart when they got high at the little league baseball field, Frank was seeming more and more like a human and less and less like an annoying dog.

“I guess”, Gerard shrugged. “I mean like… Not more than usual.”

“You’re totally lying”, Frank mused. He took you his own pack of cigarettes and lit one up. Gerard watched the smoke crawl up into the air carelessly. “Wanna talk about it?”, Frank suggested.

Gerard wondered if Frank thought they were friends now. Because they had a little chat a few days ago that they were now friends. He would have scoffed but then Frank would have definitely asked him why he scoffed. He did not want to explain that. At the same time, Gerard really could use somebody to talk to. He certainly couldn’t talk to Mikey. No, Mikey likes to act cool and calm. But he was really just a time bomb ready to set off at the wrong tick. Gerard didn’t want to be at the receiving end of the tok. He debated it. He was just reasonable enough to pass it up. In Fact he was planning to until Frank looked him in the eyes with his eyebrows raised. Gerard didn’t notice that Frank had greenish eyes. They were brown, but they were almost green.

When Gerard didn’t answer, Frank added. “I’ll buy you a sandwich across the street. We can talk and eat over priced subs”. Now Gerard could not pass that up. He was really hungry from not eating. That’s when he realized, Frank had noticed him not eating. Gerard smiled.

“Let’s go”.

The sub shop was dinky but much to Frank’s enjoyment it was cheap. That was good. Frank was able to secure sandwiches and a cherry Coke for about five bucks, which was pretty good for around here. They sat at a booth and Gerard untraveled his sandwich. 

“So tell me, Gee'', Franks started before going wide eyed and smiled. “That rhymes”, he giggled. Gerard rolled his eyes but found that the action wasn’t with malice like he normally did. This was the kind of eye roll that he did when Ray was being over dramatic as a dungeon master or Mikey was being a generally annoying brother. It was almost like Frank was… not bad. “Anywho, what’s been pickling you? Making you sour and all that?”, Frank asked, taking a large bite into his sub. 

Gerard watched Frank eat his sandwich without taking a bite out of his. He noticed that Frank’s sandwich had nothing but an array of lettuce and cheese on it. He wondered if Frank had forgotten to order any meeting before remembering that Frank had asked him a question.

“I’m just stressed. I turn eighteen in April and I’ll have to leave shortly after that. That means I have to get a job and save up. In movies, everything looks easy. You apply, get a job, and before you know it, the protagonist has enough money to travel the whole fucking country. It’s bullshit. All the applications and requirements… I doubt I’ll score a fucking job. I’ll be homeless and, and, Mikey will be stuck in the system and when my mom gets out, she’ll be homeless to, and I won’t go to college, I’ll be stuck blowing old men or selling drugs and--”

“Whoa, whoa, Gee! Calm down there!”Frank interrupted wide eyed. Gerard hadn’t even noticed that he got so worked up. “Take a deep breath. In. And Out”, Frank directed softly. Gerard did as Frank said and felt only slightly better. 

“I know the job application is rough, I know Gerard”, Frank soothed. “But I’m sure you’ll get something. You gotta. It’s gonna be alright. Don’t worry. Eat your sandwich and tomorrow we can walk around the mall and apply for every store”.

“There’s a mall?”, Gerard asked. He genuinely didn’t know there was a mall.

“Yeah, we can ride the bus there. I’ll come around after school, okay?”, Frank asked. Gerard nodded. He felt all weak and soft like a little kid, like a child. He felt seven again. He was glad that Frank was coddling him, though. Sometimes you need to be taken care of.

“Hey, Frank?”, Gerard started.

“Yeah?”.

“Why is there only lettuce in your sandwich?”, Gerard asked innocently.

Frank broke out laughing and Gerard couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m Vegetarian”, he managed to get out between laughs.

“Oh?”.

“Yeah”.

Gerard started to laugh with Frank. It wasn’t that funny, but gerard was slightly hysterically, so it was funny.

“Hey, Gerard?”.

“Yes, Frank?”.

“Wanna come to a party with me on Friday?”.

Gerard stopped laughing. “Yeah, that’d be real cool”.

***  
Tuesday 8th, 9:48pm, Bedroom

“You’re a fuckin’ dick”, Gerard stated while flipping the blanket of Mikey’s head. Mikey was under the blankets, pretending to sleep, just like Gerard had expected him to be. He knew that Mikey was awake, though. His right eye was twitching slightly.

“What did I do now?”, Mikey asked to his pillow.

“You befriended Frank fucking Iero. That’s what”. Gerard sat down next to Mikey on their blanket bed. “And he’s not a shitty person”.

Mikey snorted with his eyes closed. “Are you fucking telling me that you are upset because you relized that Frankie isn’t a complete shit head? Go bed, Gerard”, Mikey said before turning the other direction towards the wall. Gerard remained sitting and shrugged even though Mikey could no longer see him.

“I didn’t want to make friends”, Gerard started. “Ray was unexpected, but I can handle him. He’s graduating this year too, it’s different. It’s always been me and you, Mikes”.

“Bull. You always made friends. Everywhere you go you find all the cool kids and befriend them”, Mikey mumbled. Gerard held back a laugh. Is that what Mikey thought? He would not call the people he befriended cool or friends. Just buddies to hang around with. They weren’t really friends.

“They weren’t real friends, Mikey. All I did was get high with them”, Gerard admitted a bit sadly. He knew that Mikey really looked up to him and didn’t like showing the real truths. The truths that would allow Mikey to see how terrible he really was. Gerard knew that Mikey saw him as doing no wrong. 

“Oh”, was all Mikey said. “Maybe you need friends then.”

Gerard shook his head. If only it were that easy. Gerard didn’t want to and would not get attached. He couldn’t get attached to anywhere because then it’d hurt more when it was taken away. He just needed to graduate and get a job . For him and Mikey. That’s all he needed.


	21. Keep On Living

Thursday 10th, Frank Iero’s basement, 4:39 pm

“Frank, stop fucking screaming so much. If we ever wanna score a gig, you’ll have to be coherent”, Bob yelled from over the drum set. Frank hopped around to face Bob and flipped him off, earning him a swift drumstick to the back of the head. “Little shit”, Bob mumbled.

“But that’s the style! It’s the trend, Bob!”, Frank whined.

“Sounding like you’re having your intestine ripped out? Just fucking sing one song”.

Ray sighed and Mikey lightly kicked the bass amp. Just a typical day now. To think that just a few months ago, Gerard would probably be spending this time getting high with Otter or out at a playground drinking beers with kids he shouldn't have been hanging out with, was crazy. Gerard felt so much better sitting here, happy.

Gerard smiled from the box of books he was sitting on. He’d been coming to every band practice just to watch was starting to get used to the bantar of his… dare he say… friends. It was amusing. It was funny. It was fun. He could do this, he could have friends. He could do this.

Yesterday Frank and him had walked around the malls applying for jobs. When they walked into the comic store (which had a great selection by the way), Gerard immediately knew he had to work there. He filled out his application right there and then and Frank decided to apply too since he had nothing better to do. The elderly owner came out and offered to interview them on the spot since his only other employee had quite a month ago and he was working full time. Needless to say, Gerard and Frank were hired on the spot. The owner, Mr.Broski, was impressed with the boy’s knowledge of comics. Gerard was actually impressed with Frank as well, the kid knew his comics. Gerard didn’t know he was into comics.

Gerard was feeling a lot more secure. He’d start his job over the weekend and would be able to save up for an apartment, Mikey’s custody, and his own future. Gerard never thought he’d be able to think about his _on_ future. He could get a place near here, stay close to his friends, it’d be great.

Gerard began to write down some words in his notebook. He liked writing poetry and he liked hanging around the band practices. It gave him inspiration. He looked at his previous poems, “I’m not okay” and “Thank you for the Venom”. They were so angry and writing in heart-wrenching times. Gerard smiled as he started writing his next poem. ‘I am not afraid to keep on living’, he scribbled.


	22. Tell Me Something I Don't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everybody tells me it's so hard to make it, yet so hard to make it, there's no way to fake it"
> 
> Friday 9th (in both Gerard's and Mikey's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you DIDN'T read that in Selena Gomez's voice!!!!!!  
> Also: 
> 
> Everybody, check out the fic I'm beta-ing for: [Bad Romance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25136302/chapters/60903604) by [ venom_velour ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/venom_velour/pseuds/venom_velour)
> 
> It's gr8

Friday 9th, 9:46 am, Freshmen Hallways

“There you are, Mikey”, Pete beamed before throwing himself up against Mikey’s back, slamming the younger boy into his locker. Mikey winced and threw Pete off, vaguely wondering why Pete was in the Freshmen Hallway. Last time Mikey had checked, Pete was a sophomore.

“Yeah, here I am”, Mikey mumbled a bit grumpily. Mikey wasn’t a morning person. He just wasn’t. Pete didn’t seem to notice, however. He just continued to look at Mikey with big eyes.

“So, you remember the time we got stoned and I started asking you about parties and stuff?”, Pete asked, although he didn’t wait for Mikey to respond at all. “Cause a friend of mine, Joe, you know Joe, is throwing one tonight. 203 Applewood Lane. Be there or be square, Mikeyway”. And with that Pete shoved Mikey lightly against his locker and strutted out of the freshmen hallway, leaving Mikey utterly confused.

**

12:42 pm, School Steps

“So your mom just flipped?”, Mikey asked while taking a bite out of the apple he had gotten from the cafeteria. He knew he was being a jerk for not sitting with his brother and his _friends_ inside the actual cafeteria, but he just wanted to hang out with Liliana. And no, contrary to what Gerard had been saying, Liliana wasn’t his girlfriend. Just… friends.

“Yeah. Money’s tight, you know? So like, I should have been wasting food like that”, Liliana mulled, kicking her shoes in the sand. She’d been talking about money issues, her mom was a waitress and single, no father in the picture. Apparently she lived down in some seedy apartments that barely counted as the school district. Mikey found it comforting. He had made tons of acquaintances at this school, but his only good friends were Ray, Frank, Bob, and Pete. Mikey knew that Frank was comfortable and Pete was well off. He knew Ray’s family weren’t poor but weren’t rich, lower middle class would be a fine word to describe them. He had no clue about what Bob’s situation was and honestly he didn’t care. Mikey didn’t think of himself as a jealous type, but he could get real insecure sometimes. It was nice to confide into somebody that didn’t have the picture perfect life.

“Don’t tell anybody I said that, though”, she added as a quick after thought. Mikey saw the worry light up in her eyes and recognised the feeling of over sharing. “I don’t like the way people look at me when they find out I’m poor. They get all uncomfortable. It gets embarrassing sometimes”.

“I get it. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, though”, Mikey tried to soothe. He racked his brain for things he wanted people to say to himself whenever he had shared a detail of his struggles. “It’s okay”.

“Really?”, Liliana asked. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked towards Mikey, her curly hair flopping around. “Cause I’m pretty embarrassed”. She paused for a minute. “I always talk so much about myself, but you never say anything real deap about yourself. Tell me something I don’t know”, she challenged.

Mikey bite his lip. This was his time to say what he needed to. He could tell his story. He hadn’t told anybody here about it. It was a nice school with nice kids and they didn’t like things that weren’t nice. At his old school, the one where he met Tommy, there were lot’s of broken kids so being broken was the norm. He didn’t feel the need to hide his story seeing as other kids had similar things going on. But he didn’t know if he was ready to spill. He got this far without telling anybody, not even Pete Wentz.

“I think your eyes are really pretty”, he said. According to Gerard, chicks love that line. “And your lips are pretty too”. Gerard says that line is a bit bold, but if you use it right it works pretty good. They eat it up. 

Sure enough, Liliana blushed a deep red that contrasted her tan skin. “Well if you’re nice, I’ll let you kiss them later. There’s a party at--”

“Applewood Lane? Joe’s”, Mikey waited for Liliana to nod her head. “I’ll be there”.

***

8:52 pm, Joe Trohman’s house

Joe Trohman’s house was giant. They had taken the bus up to his neighborhood, which was a really nice neighborhood. Gerard entered the house with Mikey following behind, believe it or not somebody actually invited his younger brother to a party, but soon lost him with all madness. There were people packed everywhere. Gerard looked around, pinning for somebody he knew. Since Mikey obviously ditched him early on, he was eager to find somebody else to leach onto. 

Gerard traveled around the main hallway, trying to find a kitchen with hopefully something to drink (of the alcoholic kind of course). Gerard just had to make sure he didn’t get drunk enough to black out, forget how to ride the bus home, and wake up Miss Tanya when he got snuck back into the house. But of course, there was absolutely no reason for him _not_ to have a drink or two. 

When Gerard got into the kitchen, he was immediately hit by the potent smell of alcohol. He looked around and saw that a group of kids were doing beer pong on the Trohman’s elegant kitchen table and there was a table full of cases of beer (most likely brought by party guests) and a thing of vodka. Gerard made his way over to the table and got out a red solo cup, emptied a coke into it, and filled it in with some vodka. He had just brought the cup to his lips when he felt a pair of hands grasp his back.

“Hey watch it! Oh, hey Frank”, Gerard blushed a bit when he realized he’d yelled at Frank. Frank didn’t seem to mind, he just kept smiling along like a big goofy idiot. Gerard assumed he may have had a few already.

“Hey, Gee”, Frank greeted, dragging out the “ee”. He’d definitely downed a few. “I see you found the address alright!”.

Gerard nodded. “Yeah, I did”, he said as he took a generous sip from the solo. 

Frank beamed before standing on his tiptoes to peer over Gerard’s cup. “Watcha drinkin? Oh, Coke and…”, he sniffed the cup, “Vodka? You know, you really don’t seem drunk enough. Wanna do shots with me and the boys from the park?”.

“They boys from the park?”, Gerard asked incredulously. Who the hell were the boys from the park?

“Yeah, the guys I got skating with”. Oh yeah, that’s right. Frank skates.

“Um, I’m sorry. I can’t. I’d love to but I’m babysitting Mikey. Or I was babysitting him until he left. I have no clue where he went. Fuck”. Frank just nodded like he got it. Gerard didn’t think he did (seeing as Frank seemed to have very little responsibility) but it’s the thought that counts.

“Okay, okay. Let’s dance then”.

Gerard didn’t know what the hell ‘dancing’ ment, but he soon learnt when Frank clasped his wrist and dragged him through the hallways. He barely saw the blurry faces of people from school and had to hold on his drink to make sure it didn’t spill. He tried to call out to Frank to slow down, but it was in vain as Frank just continued to plow through the crowd. After maybe two minutes, he seemed to get through to Frank.

“Fuck, I’m gonna spill my drink. Frank-”

“Just down it Gee”, Frank replied sloppily. He seemed to slow a bit, so Gerard guesses he got the memo. Gerard did down it, though. He hardly even felt the burn of the liquid as it dripped down his throat. He didn’t put a lot of vodka in it, though. He quickly felt a little loser. His permanently tensed muscles loosened and he felt like maybe embarrassing himself just a little bit.

“Dance?”, Frank asked, sticking his hand out. Gerard didn’t even reply when he felt Frank grab his wrist again and pull him into the crowd of teenaers dancing. Gerard laughed as he felt his joints roll out loser and zoned into the beat of the song. He saw Frank, dancing like a lunatic, swaying his hips and holding his drink above his head like a chick would dance. It wasn’t even a good song. It wasn’t even a good song. It was a dumb pop song that Gerard had heard one too many times on the radio. But it was okay, pop was fun and right now Gerard was having fun He would embarrass himself, just a little.

**  
8:056pm, Joe Trohman’s house

Mikey had lost Gerard, great. It was his own fault, really. He spotted Pete lurking in the corners of the house and went to say hi. He thought he told Gerard where he was going, but maybe not. Whatever, Pete had him occupied anyways. 

“How are you liking the big time high school party, Mikeyway?”, Pete asked with a proud grin. If Mikey hadn’t already been to Pete’s house before, he would have assumed this was Pete’s house and Pete threw the party with the way he was grinning. Of course, Mikey knew that was not true, so he really didn’t know why Pete was so happy.

“It’s alright”, Mikey said truthfully. He’d only been here about five minutes max and wasn’t exactly feeling it. Pete seemed to catch Mikey’s drift.

“Let’s go to the drink table. I could use a drink. Joe is always good and stocking the drinks”, Pete grinned. He didn’t grab Mikey’s wrist, but Mikey still followed close behind. He didn’t exactly know everybody here and wasn’t eager to get to talking. It was weird. Normally, Mikey was eager to talk to people. At his old school, he had no issues going up to the toughest of kids, talking to them, and making a name amongst them. Right now, all he wanted to do was cling to Pete Wentz. Weird.

Before he knew it, they were at the drink table. Pete was right, there was a ton of alcohol. Mikey suddenly felt nervous, like a new kid at a new school, which was ironic. Mikey had never really drank before. He’d never been to a high school party. He never really heard music this loud. It was all new and scary. He wished he had his mom.

“So what do you want to drink?”, Pete asked, already grabbing a bottle of rum and a can of cola. Mikey didn’t reply. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to drink. Pete picked up quickly. Mikey soon realized that he was good at picking things up. He was intuitive. “Never drank before?”.

Mikey gulped. “I’ve had like two sips of vodka before”, Mikey admitted. He knew he shouldn’t feel embarrassed, but he did. He started to feel his cheeks redden. This wasn’t middle school. It was overwhelming. He wanted nothing more than to run out of the building and curl up into the arms of his mother. But he couldn’t. She was in jail and Mikey was supposed to be a shit-head kid who’s life was bound to go down the drain. 

“I’d recommend a sprite and vodka then, nothing too harsh”, Pete kindly aired, grabbing a sprite. Mikey just shook his head slowly as he watched the poor sprite in the cup and add a stream of vodka into it. He handed it to Mikey before grabbing his own coke and rum. 

“Drink up”.

Mikey didn’t want to. He never really thought of himself as a kid before, but man did he feel like one now. He had stolen, he had lied, he had been expelled, he had smoked weed, hell, he’d been arrested. But for some reason, he couldn’t drink the alcohol. Drinking this cup would mean stepping fully into the world of teenagehood, which meant not being a kid anymore. He couldn’t do it.

He was getting really worked up. He felt his hands start to shake and his breathing get heavy. This is when he normally would storm off, find the nearest Walmart, and still something. He couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t. He was about to say something when he spotted Liliana.

“I have to go, Pete”, Mikey hastily mumbled. He ignored the wide eyed look Pete gave him and shoved through the mass of people to get to where Liliana was. He did look back once he got closer to Liliana. Pete’s eyes had shrunk into a sneer. They made eye contact before Pete turned away and walked into another room.

“Liliana”, Mikey called. Liliana turned from one of her friends she was talking to.

“Hey Mikey, what’s up?”, she asked. Mikey shrugged.

“Nothing, want this?”, he asked referring to the red cup. Liliana nodded and took the cup from Mikey’s hand. Mikey felt the weight of the world roll off his hands. 

***

11:21 pm

“Yeah, I’d kick someone’s ass if they said Anthrax is better than Iron Maiden”.

“You’re fucked up, Gerard”, Ray laughed. They were huddled up against the wall of Joe Trohman’s house, sharing a cigarette. Apparently Ray was a drunk smoker, who knew? “You’re brother likes Anthrax better than Iron Maiden”.

“Looks like I’m kicking my brother’s ass”, Gerard replied. He noticed the sloopy smile on his lips. It felt good. It felt nice. Gerard had only had three drinks tonight. Just three. He wasn’t drunk but he wasn’t exactly sober. 

Ray beamed and shook his head. “You’re fucked up.” Ray opened his mouth to say something else when Frank ran out the house screaming. 

“Guys, get in! They’re playing spin the bottle”, Frank yelled. Ray and Gerard shared a look of interest and raised eyebrows before stubbing the cigarette out and heading inside. Frank seemed really eager to play. Gerard was a little eager to play too, it had been awhile since he’d kissed somebody. This would be fun. One his way to the living room where they were playing, Gerard fixed himself another drink.

Gerard sat down next to Ray and Frank. Hopefully since he was sitting next to both of them, Gerard wouldn’t have to kiss any of them. Not that Ray or Frank were bad looking or anything, Gerard would just feel weird kissing them. Ray not so much, but Frank… weird.

A tall kid with dark curly hair stood up and slurred the rules of the game before sitting down and spinning the bottle himself. The rules were: 1 hit = kiss, 2 hits = tongue, 3rd hit = seven minutes of heaven, which was just a couch pulled out from the wall so that there was about three feet of hidden room behind it. Gerard shrugged. He was down.

It took about three spins for Gerard to realize that Mikey was also in this circle. He was half split to yell at Mikey for being too young to play, but he decided not to publicly humiliate him like that. Instead, he just closed his eyes when Mikey kissed this girl with really curly hair. On second thought, maybe that was the chick he had been ‘talking to’ or whatever bull he was saying trying to cover up the fact that he liked her. Whatever. He didn’t need to see that. He’d finished his drink by the time somebody had landed on him.

It was a cute girl. She had short brown hair and a blue flower in her hair that matched with the blue slip dress she was wearing underneath a denim jacket. She kissed him softly, mashing her mouth against his only for a few seconds before pulling away. Gerard swore he saw the tall kid with brown curly hair whoop and wink at Gerard as he returned back to his spot. It was weird. 

It took another five minutes for Gerard to actually get the bottle. It was a big group of kids, maybe thirty. Gerard looked around, noting all the people he did _not_ want to kiss. Without another moment’s hesitation, he took the bottle and spun. He watched smugly as the bottle spun, hoping maybe he’d land on the girl with the blue flower again. Then he could use his tongue.

Instead, he watched in horror as the bottle slowed. It seemed that the bottle was slowing and turning towards Gerard’s direction. That was dangerous. If it landed on Frank or Ray… 

To Gerard’s absolute horror, it landed on Frank. Frank didn’t seem to mind and he didn’t seem to notice the horrified look on Gerard’s face. Before Gerard could do anything, Frank curled his arms around Gerards neck and pulled him into a kiss. Gerard was shocked for a minute before his brain realized he was kissing somebody and his muscle memory kicked in and he started kissing back. He didn’t even remember the rules when he found that his tongue had made its way into Frank’s mouth. He didn’t hear the whooping and catcalls coming from around him. All he knew was that the kiss was making his stomach do backflips. 

He didn’t know how long it had been when they finally pulled apart. People were cheering and whistling. Typical. Gerard took a shuddery breath before recollecting himself. Wow. He had just done that. Like. He did that. Really. 

“You’re a good kisser”, Frank said like it was nothing. Maybe to Frank it was nothing. Maybe to Frank, kissing your friends wasn’t weird or unusual. It was normal.

“Uh, you too”, Gerard sputtered, lost for things to say. He did not, _did not_ just kiss Frank. Like, Frank wasn’t ugly or anything. He was just a guy. Gerard didn’t like guys, but Frank was a guy and he liked kissing Frank. Shoot, maybe he was a little drunk. 

“It’s late, I think I should get going”, Gerard babelled before standing up abruptly. He felt his feet wobble. He really shouldn’t have put that much vodka in his cup. He needed some fresh air. He quickly wobbled towards the door. He brushed his fingers against the handle before stumbling onto the grass. He didn't even bother to pick himself up. He just laid there looking at the stars.

“Gerard! Are you okay?”, a voice, obviously Mikey’s, stretched. Gerard just nodded from where he was laying on the grass. He heard Mikey plopp down beside him and turned around to face him.

“Are you… drunk?”, Mikey asked. Gerard didn’t answer. He just continued to look at the sky. “Okay so you _are_ drunk. Okay. So, I know there’s something wrong. What’s up?”.

“I kissed Frank”, Gerard admitted, blushing a bit. He couldn’t see it, but he knew that Mikey was scowling. He was always scowling. Gerard felt a hand rummage through his front pocket and his pockets empty. “Mikey, what-”

“I’m taking your cigarettes. I want a cigarette”, Mikey put it simply. Gerard heard the click of the lighter and smelt the smell of smoke. 

“Mikey, can I-”

“No, you can;t have a cigarette. Not until you tell me what’s wrong”.

“I did, I kissed Frank”.

“I fucking saw that. Which, gross, by the way”.

“I know!”, Gerard yelped. Finally, Mikey was making sense. “That’s the issue.”

“So you're grossed out that you kissed Frank?”, Mikey asked.

Gerard rolled his eyes and groaned. It wasn’t _like that_. He wasn’t grossed out that he kissed Frank. It was a nice kiss, that was the problem. He didn’t like guys, though. 

“No”.

“Then what’s the issue?”. Mikey waved around his arm with the cigarette and Gerard had to duck to avoid the embers. Gerard chose not to acknowledge that question with an answer. Instead, he stayed silent which he soon found was the wrong decision. “See there, is no problem. Kissing Frank doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean you are gay and if you are, who cares? I certainly don’t. It’s not a big deal Gee, you’re just being an idiot”.

Gerard scoffed. He knew Mikey was right. It didn’t mean anything unless he made it mean something. But right now, Gerard was drunk and not thinking straight. Literally.

“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, being a beta for [ venom_velour ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/venom_velour/pseuds/venom_velour) has made me realize I could benefit from a beta. So if any one is interested in being a beta for this fic, please contact me on my Tumblr [ here ](https://igeomwoyaaa.tumblr.com/) . Also if you want you can talk to me on my Tumblr there just for fun


	23. The Gravey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday, November 9th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three years ago my english teacher had us read "Great Expectations" and we had a whole discussion about how when Joe gave Pip extra gravey it was a metaphor for their friendship/ love. Of course it was platonic but here it's not just read
> 
> also check of my new ferard [right here ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25473913/chapters/61791988)

Saturday 9th, 9:59 am

“Wake up or else Miss Tanya will bust in here and kick your ass”.

Gerard groaned and rolled over, taking the covers of the bed with him. He was honestly so tired. He had no clue what time they got back last night or what time it was right now. All he knew was that it was too early and that Mikey had no right to tell him to wake up.

“Go away”, he whined. He knew it was no use. He was gonna have to wake up. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to put up a fight. Gerard pulled the pillow over his head, blocking out the sun from the blinds that Mikey was pulling up. 

“Gerard, stop acting like a kid. I snuck you in some Advil and a glass of water. Be thankful”.

Gerard groaned again. Hangover Gerard was like a five year old. And right now, Gerard was _hung over_. “Fine”, he grumbled as he sat up, the light causing him the squint. He took the cold glass of water and the pills and downed them quickly. When he finished, he spared a look at his brother, who was sitting on their dresser and seemed to be glaring at him. “What?”.

“Finish the water”, Mikey commanded, shifting his glare to the still half full glass of water. Gerard rolled his eyes dramatically but still did as he was told. He knew about water and hangovers, the more water you drank the better you felt. “You’ll feel better”, Mikey muttered like he had just read Gerard’s mind.

“What do you know about water and hangovers?”, Gerard asked a tad snarkishly. He hadn’t meant to, he was just a bit grumpy with him being hungover and all that. 

“I know that you’re being a bitch to me right now cause you're hungover”, he replied matter of factly. “I also know that if Miss Tanya senses that you are hungover, she’ll be livid. And I know you don’t wanna make her mad, you two seem to get along”. Mikey said the last part weirdly, like he was mad. If Gerard wasn’t so hungover, he might have asked Mikey what was getting him so mad. But he didn’t.

“Yea, alright”, Gerard bitterly agreed, drinking the rest of his water. “Are you hungover?”, he asked in between sips of water.

Mikey looked down. He was getting so good at hiding his emotions. Gerard remembers when he was a little kid and the days he would cry and laugh wholesomely. Those days seemed to be running thinner and thinner lately. Even with the mask Gerard knew his brother had put on, Gerard knew something was wrong. 

“I didn’t drink last night. At all”, Mikey admitted. Somewhere in the void of his voice, Gerard could tell he was telling the truth. 

“Oh”, was all Gerard said. 

“Yeah”. Mikey paused. He started kicking his legs against the dresser idly. “Let’s go eat breakfast before Miss Tanya gets suspicious.

At the dining room table, Gerard could see pancakes and bacon put out on plates with silverware already laid out. He smelt the smell of fresh cooked food and of grease. He saw Trevor already sitting at the table digging into a stack of pancakes. Great. Wonderful. Usually a nice cooked breakfast meant something was going on. Something was wrong.

“Good morning boys”, Miss Tanya chirped. Gerard turned around to see her wearing her cooking apron and her wavy hair in a bun. “I hope you all slept well”. Gerard gulped. Something was going on.

“Eat some pancakes. I woke up early just to make them,” she smiled as she slid into a chair at the dining table. Gerard hesitantly took some onto his plate, hopping Miss Tanya couldn’t see how hungover he was. 

“So I wanted to let you boys know that tonight, I’ll be having a family friend over. My good friend Linda and her son are coming over for dinner”, Miss Tanya started and that’s when it clicked for Gerard. They weren’t getting moved, they were just being told to go out for the night.

“You might actually know her son, I think I’ve seen one of you talk to him. Anyways, I wanted to ask that you two wear… appropriate clothing and be here at six pm. It would mean alot to me”, she finished. 

“He’s a weird boy”, Trevor said, throwing a mouthful of pancakes. “You’ll like him”.

Gerard was mildly shocked. So they were staying. Okay. Great. Collared shirts and clean jeans, got it. Normally he’d be a little upset. He was hungover and didn’t want to play goodie goodie for some Linda lady that he didn’t know and her probably equally terrible son, but Gerard felt like he owed it to Miss Tanya. She wasn't bad to Gerard or Mikey.

“We’ll be here”.

***

5:55 pm

Mikey, however, had an issue with the family friend coming over. He wasn’t happy about it. He sulked the whole day. He had made plans with Liliana and wasn’t keen on canceling it. He wasn’t also keen on wearing Gerard’s old polo shirts from when he was fourteen. It was annoying.

Mikey sighed as he saw an old blue Toyota pull up. He perked up when he saw who got out. A brunette woman and her dark haired son stepped out of the car, presumably the dinner guest. Mikey was pleased to see that the son was none other than Frank Iero.

“Frank’s here”, Mikey said, mostly to himself, but Gerard heard. 

“Frank’s here?”, Gerard repeated but as a question.

Mikey nodded. “This will be interesting”, he said as he fled out the door. When he saw Miss Tanya greet Linda, Mikey smirked at a surprised Frank. Frank caught on and smiled. 

“Oh, you two know Trevor. But over here is Mikey, he’s the kid I’m fostering. Mikey, wanna introduce yourself?”, Miss Tanya asked. “This is Linda Iero and her son, Frank”.

“Hello”, Mikey started. “It’s nice to meet you, Miss Iero. And you too, uh… sorry. What was your name? I didn’t catch it”, Mikey said, using his signature deadpan.

Frank scoffed. “Frank Iero”, he said while playfully punching Mikey.

“I assume you two know each other?”, Miss Iero asked. Frank nodded.

Miss Tanya beamed. “That’s great. Mikey, please get your brother and let’s head to the dining table”. 

Mikey nodded and did what Miss Tanya asked. Gerard was moping around in the room and Mikey had to drag him out, but other than that they made it to the table safety. Mikey watched as Frank struggled to cut through his chicken and as Gerard only looked at his chicken. Weird. Gerard was a little weird around strangers, but not normally this weird.

That’s when Mikey saw it. They both stook their hands out trying to grab the gravy. Their fingers brushed against each other before they hastily withdrew them. Mikey saw the blush on Frank’s cheeks and the way Gerard hunched back. _This is what Gerard was upset about._


	24. SLick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the big gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i even try anymore with these chapter titles?

Sunday 13th, Church

“Psst”. 

At first, Gerard chose to ignore his younger brother’s annoying attempts to get his attention. He had better things to do than entertain Mikey’s dumb questioning that he started up last night. Gerard knew that him and Frank were acting very weird the day before, but it was nothing, really. He didn’t want to talk about it.

He especially didn’t want to talk about it with his _younger brother._. That’s just embarrassing. Especially when your younger brother has a girlfriend who just so happens to be your crush-- no, _freind’s_ cousin. That’s just awkward.

Mikey also was able to sneak out last night after the dinner to visit said girlfriend and was now wearing a scarf to church. Whatever. Gerard didn’t want to know. It’s not that he was jealous or anything. Okay… he might be a little jealous that his fourteen year old younger brother was getting action and he wasn’t. But whatever. That still didn’t mean that Gerard was going to tell Mikey about anything that he might be thinking.

One of the reasons why he wasn’t was because Gerard himself didn’t know what he was feeling. Gerard came to the conclusion last night after Frank’s family left that he was into guys. There was nothing wrong with that. Gerard could handle being gay. The only thing he couldn’t handle was being attracted to Frank fucking Iero.

Only he wasn’t attracted to Frank. That wasn’t true. He just made that up. He was attracted to men-- not boys. Frank Iero was a boy. Gerard did _not_ like Frank. Only he did. Just a little.

“Psst”, Mikey hissed again, this time tapping Gerard on the shoulder. Gerard actually looked at Mikey this time, giving him a dirty look. Mikey just rolled his eyes and punched Gerard in the shoulder.

“Miss Tanya fell asleep. She was tired from cleaning up last night. Let’s head around back”, Mikey whispered. 

Gerard shook his head. He wasn’t falling for that. He knew Mikey was just planning on forcing information out of him. It wasn’t going to work. Gerard was firm in his decision not to say anything. Plus, Trevor might snitch on them. 

“I’ve got pot”, Mikey whispered again. Now that, that was something Gerard could work with. 

“Let’s go”, Gerard answered. The two boys quietly left through the back doors and headed out towards the back walls. Gerard hopped that Frank didn’t see. If Frank saw, he might come out and try to join them. Gerard didn’t want to talk to Frank right now. He’d have to see him later at work anyways. He might as well get some time alone before then.

Mikey pulled the bag out of his shoe. It concerned Gerard for a second. This kid was getting more and more slick as the days passed. But at least he wasn’t doing Xannies like Gerard was doing when he was fourteen. Gerard watched as MIkey rolled up a joint with ease and vaguely wondered if Mikey was going to become a stoner like Frank. Shoot. Frank. 

“So what’s wrong?”, Mikey asked while giving Gerard the joint and a lighter. Gerard eagerly put the joint in his lips and lit up. He inhaled the skunk-smelling smoke and relaxed as he felt his joints loosen. 

“Nothing”, Gerard responded while exhaling. Mikey snatched the joint from him and pressed it between his lips. 

“Fucking liar”, he mumbled under his breathe while the smoke crawled out. “I know something’s wrong and I know it involves Frank so cough it up, Gerard”.

Gerard rolled his eyes. “It’s not Frank”, he put simply. “It is. But it isn't it. Not really”, he jumbled. He was never too articulate whenever he smoked weed. His words always got twisted and he spoke slower. 

“Then what is it?”, Mikey asked while passing the joint. Gerard shrugged in his response. 

“I need to tell you something Mikey”, Gerard said after a pause. He scratched his head, thinking. “I think I’m gay”.

Mikey’s eyes got a little wider and he coughed. “Gay?”, he asked. When Gerard nodded, Mikey did a shrug of his own and took the joint back. “That’s cool”. 

Gerard raised his eyebrows. “That’s cool? Like… that’s it? You’re not gonna make fun of me or…”

“No. I’m your brother, Gerard. Why would I do that?”, Mikey asked before taking another hit. “I’ll support you no matter who you are or who you date. If that involves Frank Ie-”

“It doesn _not_ involve Frank Iero”, Gerard sharply cut in. 

“Sure it doesn’t. I support you. Now let’s get baked before I have to hear the priest talk about sinning one more time”.


	25. November Tuesday 15th

Tuesday 15th, 9:24 pm, David’s comics

Gerard was tired. It was late and the customer flow was slow. He didn’t know why his boss, Dave, _had_ to have Frank _and_ him work the shop at the same time. How many people needed to watch the store when there were only two customers per hour. Dave says it’s so that they don’t get bored and Gerard knows that as long as Frank is in the room, he won’t get bored.

Ever since they had kissed drunkenly at that forsaken party, Gerard couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like for those peachy plump lips to collide against his one more time. It also made Gerard wonder what it’d be like for them to slide down further and for them to be around…

Gerard had never had a guy go down on him before. He had blown his dealer when he was fifteen a few times for a baggie of xanax, but never was it the other way around. He had a somewhat girlfriend in his junior year that he’d slept with a few times in the short period they were together, but that was as far as his sexual history went. Gerard remembers enjoying the few experiences he had, so he wonders if he was really gay. Maybe this was just a phase. He couldn’t be really gay if he liked having sex with girls, right?

“Hey, Gee”, Frank blurted out from behind the Marvel shelf, breaking Gerard’s train of thoughts. Gerard looked up swiftly and saw that Frank was holding an armful of comics. It was piled up high and Frank seemed to be struggling to hold them all. Infact, a few fell as Frank hollered; “Mind giving a hand? It’s the new order”.

Gerard nodded and rushed over to Frank and the comics. He took a bulk of the new comics from Frank’s hands and balanced them on his own. Frank flashed Gerard a thankful smile and Gerard tried to muster up one to return.

“You okay Gee?”, Frank asked while putting the comics in their respective spots. Dave lined them up by brand, then by genre, and finally alphabetic. Luckily Frank and Gerard had enough combined brian cells to sort them out. 

Gerard sighed. “Yeah, I’m just tired”, he lied. What he really wanted to say was that he wanted to push Frank up against the bookshelf and kiss him recklessly. But Gerard didn’t say that. 

Frank looked up at Gerard and gave him one of those motherly looks that Gerard vaguely remembers his own mother doing many years ago. The memory of his mother only hurts Gerard more and he can’t wait until they finnish closing up. 

“Are you sure?”, Frank asked. He slid the latest Spiderman in with the rest of the glossy papers and kissed his teeth. “Because you’ve been acting really weird lately.”

“Yeah. I’m perfectly fine. I’m peachy”, Gerard responded while trying to avoid looking at Frank’s lips for too long. “Just tired. I stayed up late last night studying”.

“You study?”, Frank teased with one eyebrow quirked. It made Gerard blush. Frank shouldn’t look so good like that.

“Yeah, um… I do”, Gerard stammered. He felt up the keys in his back pocket and walked towards the gated entrance. “I’m gonna lock up the store and head out. You should do the same. You look a little tired yourself”.

Frank smiled. “Yeah”. He paused a minute, still shoveling the comics into place. “You know, I’m really glad we get to work here together”, Frank said, still smiling carelessly. If only Frank knew what that smile was doing to him.

Gerard forced a smile. “Yeah, me too”, he said before hurrying out of the store. He was only getting paid 5$ and hour for this quite truthfully it wasn’t enough to stay with Frank the remaining few minutes until Gerard was officially off. Gerard rode the bus home but decided to make a quick stop before heading home. Since the public library was open until 10pm, he decided to step in for a second and look for a book. Once he found what he was looking for, he checked it out and left quickly.

When he got back to the house it was already late. Trevor gave Gerard some shit for coming home late and how he was probably out doing shady things. Gerard flipped him off and headed into his and Mikey’s room with his newly obtained book. Mikey was sleeping on their blanket bed that Gerard was sure was never going to be a real bed like Ms.Tanya promised. Gerard sighed for what felt the millionth time that day as he laid the book out. 

Gerard looked at the rainbow letters printed on “Human Sexual Orientation” and opened up the blue book carefully. He looked through the terms new to him and their definitions. He stopped at one term-- bisexual. As he read the definition he had a striking feeling that he was reading about himself. Bisexual. Gerard mouthed the word. It felt good coming off his mouth. 

“I’m bisexual”, Gerard whispered to himself.


	26. November Wednesday 16th

Wednesday 16th, 12:27, School Cafeteria

Mikey must admit, he was doing an amazing job at staying out of trouble. He hadn’t caught a single detention or gotten any failing grade on his report card so far. His teachers all called him ‘Mikey’ and Mikey had started warming up to kids in school. He was acquaintances with half the upperclassmen and knew all the freshmen by name. He was doing pretty good. 

Ray was talking about a new guitar one of his second or third cousins brought over from Puerto Rico. It was an artisan made and Ray was absolutely in love with it even though it was acoustic. Mikey tried to listen, he really did. It wasn’t his fault when he made eye contact with Pete Wentz. Ray was actually the first to notice Pete staring.

“It’s got this really cool sound, it’s like--”, Ray directed his eyesight to Pete. “Why is Pete Wentz standing in the middle of the cafeteria looking at us?”. 

Mikey immediately shut up and looked around. Pete Wentz was, indeed, looking right at Mikey. His eyes were big and his eyebrows were raised. Mikey understood what those eyes ment. They meant; ‘let’s sneak out back to talk about life but not tell anybody because I’m a jock and you’re a rebellious freshmen’. Mikey only wished he saw it sooner because now everyone was staring at Pete.

Mikey’s main concern right now was the way Frank was looking at Pete. Frank’s eyes were filled with hate and contempt. Mikey knew his chance to slip away was now gone and that something was about to go down. 

“Are you lost Pete?”, Frank called out from his seat. Pete whipped his head around to face Frank, his face lit up with annoyance.

“Fuck off Frank”, Pete scoffed before turning around and started to head back to where ever he normall ate. Mikey sighed in relief, hopping that nothing else would start up. Much to Mikey’s dismay, Frank threw his empty milk carton at Pete’s back.

Pete turned around slowly. Mikey could feel the tension in the air. It was thick and angry. Pete’s cool facade crumbled and a scowl appeared instead. “I’m fucking tired of this, Frank”, Pete growled. Mikey watched in horror as Pete stepped forward, inching closer and closer to the lunch table. When he was only ten feet away he howled, “I’m so fucking done”.

Pete was the one who threw the first punch. Frank fell backward and off his lunch chair and onto the cafeteria floor. Pete flung himself on top of Frank, delivering blows to his stomach. Frank found himself struggling to get any hits in but clawed onto the collar of Pete’s white shirt. After a few minutes of tussling, he managed to throw Pete off him.

While this was happening, Ray, Gerard, and Bob all stood out of their seats and backed up into the formulating circle around Pete and Frank. Mikey heard Bob say something about letting the figure do this sort of thing by themselves as it was a personal fight and Mikey assumed that Ray and Gerard understood. Mikey on the other hand continued to sit at the table, transfixed in watching the fight. He didn’t know who to root for, he liked them both.

Pete was managing to put some damage on Frank. Pete had grabbed the tuff of Frank’s denim jacket and was using the other hand to punch Frank ruthlessly in the face. Frank managed to kick Pete in the knees and Pete promptly dropped Frank. Frank took it to his advantage to try and tackle Pete to the ground. Pete didn’t go down easy and instead threw Frank to the ground. Pete pounded punches into Frank’s abdomen and Frank seemed to lose his energy. He slowly stopped grappling and kicking and became limp. That’s when Mikey snapped out of his daydream.

“Pete, stop!”, Mikey called out. Pete didn’t seem to hear him and continued to beat Frank up. Mikey felt himself get off his feet and grab Pete’s shoulders. He tried to shove Pete off Frank but to little avail. Pete had a dead grip on Frank. As a latch ditch effort Mikey pushed Pete’s side and Pete fell to the ground and off Frank. 

Pete looked up at Mikey. “Mikey don’t-”

“No”, Mikey interrupted. When Pete tried to get up again, Mikey blocked Pete from nearing any closer to Frank. “Stop”, he calmly stated as Pete stood up and tried to go another round with Frank (who was laying on the ground).

Pete tried to slip past Mikey and get to Franka again, but Mikey pushed Pete away. “Stop, you’re gonna get in trouble”.

“I’m already gonna get in trouble. Let me at him”, Pete seethed. Just when Mikey felt like he couldn’t hold back Pete any longer, he heard the shrill sound of a whistle.

The whooping crowds soon disappeared and the only people left in the thick of it were Frank, Pete, and Mikey. The gym teacher strode towards the boys and pulled Pete away from Mikey. “Alright, you three. Principal’s office. Now”, he demanded. Mikey sighed. He didn’t want to do this.

In the office, Mikey had to wait for Pete to finnish before going in. Frank was in the nursed office sporting a nosebleed but no other injuries and Pete was perfectly fine. Mikey didn’t know how he found himself in this position and he didn’t like it. He had just tried to break up the fight, that’s all. 

When Pete left the office, he gave Mikey a small smile. “Thanks for you know, breaking things up before I killed Frank”.

Mikey nodded back. He wanted to be annoyed with Pete and Frank for causing a fight out of nothing, but he couldn’t stay mad at Pete and it’d be real messed up for him to be made at Frank when he was all busted. “No problem. What are you doing by the table anyways?”, Mikey asked. Pete shrugged and took the seat next to Mikey.

“I wanted to catch up with you about the party”, Pete admitted sheepishly. “I didn’t see you after we got drinks. I wanted to know what was up about that”.

Mikey shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn’t want to explain to Pete about his being an orphan and missing his mom and having a mild fear of drinking, so instead he went with; “My brother got fucked up. I had to lug him home on public transport”.

Pete nodded. “Oh...I had thought you left me to hangout with your girlfriend”.

Before Mikey could answer, he was called into the office. Mikey gave Pete a look and walked in, feeling a little too comfortable with the environment. He’d been in too many offices like this before. It was like when he got called in for truancy and that stunt with the phone. He hoped he wouldn’t get suspended again because Miss Tanya might actually hit him again. Miss Tanya didn’t ever hit Gerard, but sometimes she smacked mikey if he mouthed off or got in trouble. Whatever. It didn’t matter. 

The principle cracked his knuckles and gave Mikey a stern look. His bald head shone under the light of the lamp and his eyes looked too tired to be giving Mikey that look. He motioned to the seat in front of the desk and Mikey hastily took the seat. This was going to be interesting.

“Alright… so...Michael Way?”, the principal asked while grabbing a manila folder of his desk. Mikey nodded. “I went through your record and I was shocked to see that a boy like you would be in so much hot water so often. You’re a freshman, correct?”.

“Yes”, Mikey answered carefully. If he played his card right, he could probably get out of this easily. If he was polite and the other two boys claimed that he was breaking the fight up, he could get out without any consequences. It’d work out great.

“So, Micheal, tell me exactly what happened”.

Mikey sighed. “Pete and Frank started fighting--”

“Did you see who started the fight?”, the principal interrupted. Mikey looked over to his name plate. Mr.Warren. 

“No, Mr.Warren. I didn’t”, Mikey answered. He didn’t want to rat out anybody necessarily. This was hard because Frank and Pete were both his friends. He didn’t want either of them to get into trouble.

“They had started fighting. Um, Pete had started punching Frank really hard and fast and Frank started to go limp. I tried to get Pete off Frank but he wouldn’t listen. So then I--”

“Did you put your hands on either of the boys?”, Mr.Warren interrupted. Mikey internally winced. He hoped this wasn’t one of those schools who had a dumb policy that even if you broke up fights you’d get introuble. That’d be stupid.

“Yes”, Mikey answered firmly. There was no way around that question. “I made contact with Pete trying to get him off of Frank because Frank was going _limp_ ”.

Mr.Warren flipped open the manila folder. “You haven’t had the greatest track record”, he said, like that had any correlation to the incident that had just occurred. “Possession of a weapon, truancy, suspension, expulsion… but fighting has yet to show up on this record. You don’t seem much of a fighter, do you?”.

Mikey looked at the principal disbelievingly. Where was he going with this? “No”. Mikey paused. “I’m not a great fighter”.

Mr.Warren nodded. “Now, it’s school policy to let the staff and faculty break up fights. Since you weren’t actually fighting, I won’t suspend you. But since you didn’t follow the proper conduct, I think a day in school suspension would suffice. This incident will go in your record and for the rest of the day and tomorrow I’d like you to report to room 19.

Mikey nodded. He was a bit upset that this was going in his record even though he was just breaking up a fight, but at least he wasn’t getting suspended. He was starting to think that his record was colorful and every time another incident was added it just got more colors. Maybe one day his record would be as colorful as Gerard’s. It was the only way for Mikey to take a look at it without getting the sinking feeling that it wasn’t always like this. There was a time when Mikey didn’t get into trouble and could see colors without sitting in a principal’s office. It wasn’t always like this.


	27. November 21st

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i haven't been posting lately. i've had a writers block and was just kinda sad
> 
> i watched a rom com and ate some icecream and drove around some farms, so i guess i feel good enough to write.
> 
> any ways... enjoy :)

November Monday 21st

Gerard had been doing alot of thinking over the last weak that he had learnt what bisexual ment. He’d been thinking about the term itself, liking girls and boys. He thinks it fits pretty well since he knew he liked girls and now he liked… boys. Gerard was comfortable with the term bisexual. The one thing that Gerard was not comfortable with was the fact that a little voice in his head was telling him that he may or may not have a crush on a specific sophomore boy with black greasy hair and a spunky attitude. 

Gerard was minding his own business, chewing one the stale cereal that’s stillness was absorbed away by the milk, when Trevor sat down at the table next to him. Gerard looked the older boy up and down, examining his lanky features and poor skin. Trevor hardly ever spoke to the boys unless it was for trivial matters, so his presence at breakfast was alarming Gerard. Trevor took the seat next to Gerard, fighting him even more. It was only the two of them there, so Gerard had no back up. Gerard decided to ignore Trevor and continue eating his soggy cereal. He heard as Trevor shuffled around the cereal box, pouring himself his one bowl.

“So… Gerard”, Trevor started up cautiously. It threw Gerard off guard. Trevor was always so sure of himself and confident. Why was he faltering now?

“Yeah?”, Gerard responded stiffly. He didn’t want to put up with Trevor’s antics. 

“I found your book on the front steps last night”, Trevor started. He picked up a thin notebook from behind him. It was black and worn through and Gerard immediately recognised it as his journal that he’d been drawing in the past few months. It was the one he had been drawing in when he went over to see the boys practice for their band. It was also the notebook that he had been writing poetry in and writing little diary entries. “Uh… I thought I’d return it”.

Gerard took the notebook hastily. “You didn’t look in it, did you?”, he asked warily.

Trevor shook his head. “No”, he said nervously, letting Gerard know that Trevor has in fact looked.

“I know you’re lying”, Gerard insisted. He could care less about what Trevor thought, but he wanted Trvor to admit that he had read it. Just for spite. 

Trevor swallowed a bite of cereal. “Yeah… I did”. 

Trevor stayed quite for a while, engrossed in his cereal. Gerard was content leaving their interaction at that. He was going to finish up and force Mikey out of bed so that they could head to school when Trevor said, “Is what you wrote true?”. Startled, Gerard just looked at him. “That… you know… a faggot?”, Trevor asked, his grin slowly seeping through.

Gerard stood up abruptly. “What?”, he asked.

Trevor grinned. “Yeah, I mean, only a faggot would write things like that”, Trevor mused. “And draw like that”. 

Gerard felt his blood boil. It was too early for this. He was tired, just figuring out his sexuality, and it was a sensitive topic. “Fuck you. I’ll fuck you up-”

“I’m sure you would like that… to fuck me”, Trevor smirked.

At first, Trevor had just seemed like a little nuisance, not a huge trouble but still annoying. He wasn’t like those big kids that were messing around with Mikey and they weren’t like the kids that normally bullied Gerard. But right now, Trevor was looking like Gerard’s next punching target.

Before Gerard could respond, Miss Tanya entered the kitchen with a big smile. “Good morning, boys”, she said cheerfully. 

“Morning,” Gerard gritted in between with his cereal. At least Trevor was just speculating. He had no concrete evidence… unless he found the book. Gerard cleaned up the table and rushed into the room. He woke Mikey up and placed the book about sexuality in his book bag. After Mikey got ready, they hurried out the house and Gerard forced them to run to the bus stop.

“Gerard, what the hell?”, Mikey asked, annoyed that he was rushed to leave.

“Mikey… you don’t ask questions and I won’t tell Miss Tanya you're in school suspension”, Gerard tried to barter. MIkey rolled his eyes. He knew Gereard wouldn’t just rat him out like that. They were closer than that. 

“Fuck that. Just tell me”, Mikey demanded. 

Gerard huffed. He didn’t want to talk about this. The wound was still fresh and Gerard didn’t want to rehash his own struggles to come to terms with his secuality. But with the way Mikey was looking at him, Gerard knew he wasn’t going to win this one. “Trevor was just annoying me today… he called me a faggot”.

Mikey flinched. His blank eyes became stormy like clouds rushing through the wind before a storm. “Does he know?”.

Gerard shook his head. “No… he just found my journal and started making assumptions”.

“Gerard, don’t listen to a dimwitted asshole like Trevor. He doesn’t know you and doesn’t deserve to. Anyone who thinks that being”, he dropped his voice, “ _gay_ is bad can fuck them selves.”

Gerard smiled. That kid could get on his nerves sometimes but he could sure come through. “Thanks Mikey”, Gerard paused.

Mikey grinned. “No problem. Now… come back and talk to me whenever you’re ready to admit that you are madly in love with Frank Iero-”

Gerard felt his face turn red. How did Mikey even know about that? “You little shit! I’m not in love with… Fuck you”

Mikey smiled, looking smug. “If Frank asked you out on a date… would you accept?”, Mikey egged on. Gerard saw that mischievous look in his eye and knew that this wasn’t good.

“If you say anything to Frank, I _will_ tell Miss Tanya that you are in in-school suspension”.

“Then I’ll tell her that you smoke in the backyard”, Mikey quipped back. 

“Then I’ll tell her you sneak out”.

“Then I’ll tell her you got drunk at a highschool party”.

“Then I’ll tell her you _went_ to a highschool party”.

The two went on for the whole bus ride to school. Even though Gerard didn’t like the fact that Mikey was teasing him about Frank, he knew it was just teasing. It was almost affectionate in a way. It made Gerard feel better knowing that Mikey was always going to be there for him. They even continued when they got into the school building. Gerard walked Mikey into the in school suspension classroom just to spite him and smiled all the way until he got into his class.


	28. November 23rd

November Wednesday 23rd

Mikey had some investigation to do. He wanted to know the real reason why Frank and Pete had a feud. After walking Liliana to class (because he was chilliras like that), he decided to head out to the bleacher to try and catch Pete before he headed to third period. To his immense relief, Pete was there.

“Hey Pete”, Mikey called out. Pete whipped around quickly and a small smile braised over his lips.

“Hey Mikeyway”, he called out while jogging over to Mikey.

“So, I see you’re skipping class the first day you’re back into school?”, he said but really asked. Pete nodded and shot Mikey a wolfish smile, like he was proud of it.

“Sure am”.

“So I uh… I wanted to ask you… um… “, Mikey stuttered. He wasn’t prepared to actually _talk_ to Pete. He just knew he had _wanted_ to. What was he going to say? Mikey never was good with words. He hoped not to make a fool of himself. “Why do you adn Frank hate each other?”.

Pete’s eyes widened and for once he wasn’t smiling. Mikey’s question had whipped the smile off his face. 

“And I think I deserve to know. I got a trash can thrown at me and got called into the principal’s office because of you and Frank’s tension”.

“Look”, he started slowly and solemnly. Mikey could tell he was in for a talk talk, he’d been talk talked to so many times before that he just knew. This was going to be serious. “Let’s take a walk”.

Mikey strode up to Pete’s side, catching up to him. The pair started to walk against the school’s back walls. Oddly, there weren’t any smoking students hanging around. It was peculiarly quiet with the only sound being the soft fall wind occasionally blowing through. It was perfect for talking.

“In eight grade, Frank and I had a… I wouldn’t say a thing but… it was like a thing”, Pete started off, his voice slow and tender. He looked Mikey in the eyes. “You can’t tell a damn soul what I’m going to say, okay?”. Pete’s eyes were somber and his normal honey glaze seemed like stiff clay instead. This was the most serious Mikey had seen Pete. 

Mikey nodded. He wasn’t going to tell anybody what Pete was going to tell him now. It was serious. “I won’t”.

“Good”. Pete ‘s eyes loosened a bit and he seemed less tense. “I don’t think you’re the kind to judge about this kind of thing”, PEte said, stumbling over his words. Mikey nodded his head again. He really wasn’t one to judge about sexuality. His brother was gay after all.

“Frank and I used to be really good friends in junior high. In the end of eighth grade when Frank was thirteen and I was fourteen, Frank confessed to me that he was thinking he might be… gay… so me being a horny fourteen year old offered to kiss Frank”. Pete sighed and looked down at his feet as they made a second lap around the school.

“So we’d kiss. It wasn’t a one time thing. We would spend summer afternoons making out in his bedroom before his mom would get home. It was a fun time”, Pete confused with a hint of fondness.

“If you guys enjoyed it, then why do you hate each other now?”, Mikey casually asked.

Pete sighed. “ _He_ hates me now. Over summer break I got a girlfriend. I hadn't mentioned it to him because… well I guess I was scared of what he’d say. I didn’t know if we were a thing or not or if he thought we were. I hid it from him until a few months into freshman year. I had made the soccer team so I was getting invited to some parties and Frank got invited to one without me knowing. So he may or may not have walked into me and her making out…”

“Oh”, Mikey said, understanding where it was going.

“Yeah… so Frank was kind of upset. He just completely stopped talking to me. He wouldn’t let me talk to him in the halls and he wouldn’t tell anyone why he was mad at me.” Pete sighed. “This school is pretty small, so kids talk. And um, people started to speculate that Frank was gay because he was upset that I was dating a girl”.

“It all blew over now, but while it was happening it was pretty rough on Frank. But the thing is we never said we were a thing. We never were a thing. So Frank shouldn’t have gotten mad at me. Personally, I think it was a giant misunderstandment but I don’t think he sees it like that.”

Mikey sighed. “So why are you always fighting?”.

“He just couldn’t let it go. After a few months of ignoring me, he just kept on trying to antagonize me all the time. We first fist fought last spring and then there were a few times at parties over the summer and then there was last week”.

They did one more lap around the school in silence before Mikey made up an excuse to go back to his class. He first approached Pete hopping to find out information about the fight but ended up learning something critical that he could use to his advantage; Frank was gay.


	29. November 25th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i've been mia. i've been bombarded with school work
> 
> also I'm thinking about making a petekey trailer park fic
> 
> idk

November 25th, 4:42 pm 

_Frank Iero was gay. Frank Iero was gay_ , was all that ran trhough Mikey’s mind these last few days. He had been constantly thinking about it. Not like a weirdo or anything-- rather he was scheming. Even though Gerard wouldn’t admit it, it was plain as day that Gerard really liked Frank. Mikey, knowing that both of them were into boys, was going to try his hardest to set the two up. It was going to work. It had too.

Gerard had gotten one of his first paychecks from the comic book store and decided to treat Mikey to some ice cream, which was fine by Mikey. He did order a small, though, just to be polite. Gerard fished out a five out of his wallet and smiled as they got their ice creams.

“So…”, Gerard started as they hopped into the bus. They had finished their ice creams by then and were holding onto the poles tightly as the bus made its way through town. “I’m heading over to Ray’s tonight… i just want to let you know that ''.

Mikey nodded. He was really glad that Gerard and Ray were friends. Everybody needed a friend like Ray, he was a kid guy. This also happened to be a great leeway into the next part of Mikey’s plan. 

“Okay, so the room will be free?”, Mikey asked innocently.

Gerard scoffed. “What are you planning on having your little girlfriend over?”, he asked. 

Mikey furrowed his eyebrows. That was not where he was going. “Um… no. I was gonna invite Frank over”.

“Frank?”, Gerard asked like he had never heard the name before. Gerard gripped the pole a bit harder and Mikey watched as his knuckles tightened.

“Yeah. Short, annoying, Italian, smokes too much, is an asshole with a stoner laugh”, Mikey went on to describe. “Kind of a punk ass, likes to fuck up his hair, really funny, kind of oblivious when it comes to shutting up-”

“God, Mikey! Shut up”, Gerard explained, earring the questioning looks of a few passengers in the bus. If Mikey’s eyes weren’t deceiving him, there was a hint of blush on Gerard’s cheeks. “Damn… who taught you how to cuss?”.

Mikey smiled, feeling accomplished. “You did.” Mikey ruffled his hair. “I thought you hated the kid. What inspired this change of… heart?”.

Gerard rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t fucking that, it’s you not shutting the hell up. Plus, me and Frank are friends now.”

Mikey bit his tongue to hold back his smile. In two more hours Mikey would be meddling to no end.

8:29 pm

Mikey was a genius. He had to give himself that. Frank and Gerard were going to get together, he just knew it. Okay, maybe that was just the weed talking. Joe Trohman was known for the potency of his product after all.

Mikey had stopped by the Iero’s shop after they got off the bus and asked if Frank wanted to come over around eight. Frank agreed, of course, and at eight om sharp he knocked on Miss Tanya’s door. Ms.Tanya opened it up and smiled at Frank. Much to Mikey’s pleasure, Miss Tanya was under the false pretense that Frank was an extremely good kid. Frank came in the house for just a few seconds before Mikey whisked him into the room and sat him on the makeshift blanket bed. Mikey shimmied one blanked from the bed and placed it under the door carefully making sure no crack was available. Frank immediately caught on to what was happening and helped. Mikey grinned as he rolled the first joint, knowing what was to come soon.

“So Frank…”, Mikey started, his words croaked from the smoke. “Tell me something about you that I would not know”, Mikey finished. He studied Frank up and down and decided that Frank was high enough to spill good information. But just for good measure, he started rolling another joint.

Frank smiled loopily. “Um… In the fifth grade I stole a carton of cigarettes from the local CVS”.

Mikey felt his stomach twinge. It had been a while since Mieky stole and he was getting an itch for it. Maybe he’d go out tomorrow and lift some candy. If he was able to steal enough he could probably sell it at school.

“Really?”, Mikey said. 

Frank grinned and nodded, like he was proud of it. “That was my first smoke. I have been a shit head since I was a kid”. Frank took the joint Mikey attempting to roll and rolled it quickly with practice and ease. “What about you, Mikeyway. You ever steal something?”.

Mikey shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t really like talking about his habits unless it was with Pete. “Tell me something else, Frank. Anybody can steal some cigarettes, tell me something that's… a secret”. 

Frank furrowed his brows in a way that reminded Mikey of Gerard. He took a long drag of the joint and blew the smoke in the air dramatically. Mikey stared at Frank intently, waiting for an answer. This was it, Mikey could sense it. 

“I don’t know if I should be saying this”, Frank cooed while chewing his tongue, “But I’ve kissed a dude before”.

“Really”, Mikey asked, trying to egg on the topic.

Frank nodded solemnly. “Yeah, but don’t tell nobody. It’s a secret”.

“Would you ever do it again?”, Mikey asked. “I mean like, kiss a dude?”.

Frank zoned out for a few seconds, looking at the hazy air. “Yeah, I guess. You’re not like… you don’t hate that… you’re not… you don’t hate gays do you?”.

MIkey promptly shook his head. “No, I don’t”. 

Frank grinned. “Good. I would kiss a guy, Mikey Way. I would”.

Mikey felt his stomach churn. “Would you kiss my brother?”.

Frank smiles slightly. “Yeah… maybe”.


End file.
